Laugh, I Nearly Died.
Title: Laugh, I Nearly Died.
Author: sugarcrushed
Rating: Pg-13
Warnings: Angst, I suppose.
Summary: An angsty songfic on the song Laugh, I nearly Died by The Rolling Stones.
Disclaimer: I live in the attic of my mum's house, I clearly own nothing.

Notes: It's not beta'd so if you see any flaws please pull me on it.

Laugh, I nearly Died

I've been travelling but I don't know where
I've been missing you but you just don't care
And I've been wandering, I've seen Greece and Rome
Lost in the wilderness, so far from home
Yeah, yeah

Neither knew their place in the world.
Jim had his captaincy, Bones his status as CMO, neither were fulfilled by these roles alone.
They tried to ignore the fleeting glances; the lingering touches
pass it all off as being cooped up together for far too long.
But nothing could prevent them from being one, being together.
And when together they knew their place, they were home.

I've been to Africa, looking for my soul
And I feel like an actor looking for a role
I've been in Arabia, I've seen a million stars
Been sipping champagne on the boulevards – yes

Bodies moulding against each other, panting unnecessary breaths, roaming hands and bruising kisses.
This is what they lived for, their moments.
It didn't happen regularly, they had reputations to uphold, expectations to meet, false feelings and counterfeit love to keep.
They had to be faultless actors.

I'm so sick and tired
Trying to turn the tide, yeah
so I'll say my goodbye
Laugh, laugh
I nearly died

Nothing, nothing seemed to fill the gap in their hearts like each other.
Sometimes Jim believed both of them were dead, until they were together.
And sometimes when they were together,
Jim was sure he could hear his heart kick back into life.

I've been down to India, but it froze my bones
I'm living for the city, but I'm all alone
I've been travelling, but I don't know where
I've been wandering, but I just don't care

He wasn't prepared to be alone; he wasn't prepared for anything that was to come.
Bones had always been a certainty in Jim's life, the bright light amongst the endless dark.
Bones wouldn't leave him.

I hate to be denied,
How you hurt my pride
I feel pushed aside
But laugh, laugh, laugh
I nearly died

Jim watched Bone's lips move not listening, not believing.
He watched the lips he'd kissed, lips he'd loved, lie to him.
He watched him walk away; he didn't understand.
Jim loved Bones unconditionally, uncontrollably.
Like a pull, like a force that wouldn't go away.
Bones felt the same, Jim knew he did.
He'd felt the love radiate from his every pore.

Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who's going to be my guide

"I've got to do this, for me, for us. Jim what we're doing is just killing each other, you're killing me Jim."
Jim just laughed it off, Bones wouldn't....

And when he realised every word was honest.

He almost died.