:: Karma ::
Saiyuki
Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Konzen/Goku, hinted Goku+Sanzo, somewhat hinted Goujun+Kenren/Kenren+Goujun? O_o
Warnings: slight AU, angst, language, character death, suicide, somewhat dark, strongly hinted shounen ai
Notes: Inspired by Nikki. She showed me a translation of some Goujun narration in Gaiden, and soon it got me thinking...
This fic is mostly a Gaiden fic, but it goes into the main series. It's largely an interpretation of how Gaiden may end, and while I did mention pairings the fic doesn't focus on them. It's going to feel rushed, so I hope most of you get that sensation, since that's one thing I was aiming for. Also, how Goku's memories get locked away is a bit... odd... okay, it's very odd (and I blame it on reading so many fantasy books lately =P) and it's one thing I admit is very unlikely to happen, but I hope it doesn't disrupt the whole thing too badly. And this is a one-shot; the way the fic trails off is supposed to be an indication that the phases continue on into the series. I hope it leaves that impression, but if not... well, that's why I just explained it.
Constructive criticism and feedback is always appreciated.
Phase One
It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. No, not even a pin, he decided, because a pin dropping would have been deafening. This silence was so thick, so heavy, that the dust particles seemed to expand and make it hard to breath; he could have sworn he felt every breath of air on his skin, making it tingle with painful life.
He wasn't alone when he received the news, but the company wasn't exactly a comfort. They were far form a good position. There was one man outside keeping guard, ready to come in if needed. Everyone else was inside; three men in the cramped library and one boy constantly drifting in and out of consciousness in the other room.
Konzen Douji was stunned. No, not even that; like the pin comparison, stunned couldn't adequately sum up the reality of what was happening. It was worse than surprising him into numbness; it was a shock that coming back, jolting him again and again with its painful electric currents. It wasn't the first time in his too-long life he found himself at a loss for words, but for once he couldn't even think of any way to question anything.
A voice did speak up, but it wasn't his own, and it wasn't the infuriatingly calm voice of the marshal/librarian; it was a good deal deeper, sounding more alive than Konzen felt. "Are you sure that's the only way?"
Tenpou Gensui's eyes flickered the other speaker's way; not even a mocking smirk touched his ever-smiling lips. "Yes. I'm sure."
At last Konzen felt compelled to move, and then it was just to push his long bangs from his face. He couldn't even summon the energy to be annoyed with the long strands. The electric currents still hadn't died down.
At last, he managed to whisper in a voice he didn't recognize, "You can't be serious."
"I wish I wasn't," Tenpou said quietly.
"You're talking crazy."
"I'm giving you our only way out."
"You're suggesting suicide." Konzen spat the words not with vehemence, but with fear. A few weeks ago he hadn't even believed death was possible, but now...
Tenpou sighed. "There's no other way this can work."
The blonde closed his eyes, internally struggling. "... I can't," he finally said.
"Konzen--"
"I can't do that to him!"
Amazingly, in spite of the situation, Tenpou did manage a genuine smile. It was weak, but definitely not false. "I know," he said, his voice never growing short or irritated as Konzen's was so prone to. "I know you'd rather cut your tongue out several times over than hurt him like this, but we really don't have a choice."
He couldn't even get enough feeling circulating into his legs to get up and pace, though he desperately wanted to. He needed some way to get rid of the stress and couldn't even move properly. Konzen felt a certain pair of red eyes boring into him but couldn't even bring himself to care. He couldn't even care that Goujun was seeing him at his most vulnerable.
Realizing that was also realizing that this situation was anything but a joke.
"Explain it to me one more time," he finally said, trying to sort out his thoughts.
Tenpou sighed again but didn't object. "We know the entire Western Army is coming after us. Kenren managed to get word that Li Touten is now controlling the Western forces." Goujun looked anything but pleased about that, but kept helpfully silent. "In short, they're backing us into a corner. If they capture us they'll surely punish us; they can't kill us no matter how much Li Touten wants revenge, but they can surely do great harm. Torture certainly isn't out of the question."
When there was a slight pause, Konzen nodded to show he was following the man so far. Tenpou went on. "What we do know for sure is that they can ruin us; if absolutely nothing else, they can separate us into the furthest corners of heaven to make sure we can't help each other to rebel further. They'll most certainly keep an annoyingly close eye on us." Now the emerald eyes pinned his with a direct stare. "And they'll definitely do what they can to keep him away from you."
He didn't need to say who he was; Konzen nodded stiffly. "Since the current toushin is out of commission, they may go for the option of turning him into their next killing doll," the marshal continued. "Eventually he'll become just like Nataku... maybe even worse because he's so vulnerable, especially now, and will be especially when he can't turn to you anymore. So if we want to not only save his sanity, but his life, and you want to have the chance to see him again, we have no other choice but suicide."
Konzen gave no indication that he was still following, but Tenpou stood and started pacing, speaking more rapidly. "Of course, we're all aware of one way to become a part of the Karmic Mandela, and that's to have permission from the Jade Emperor himself to have our souls pass through limbo in that fashion. However, there is another option that was never prevented because it was so unlikely-- suicide. If an immortal should wish to commit suicide, then he would essentially become mortal and be reincarnated until the end of time. But of course, what immortal would want to go through the pain of several deaths when he could have just one long life? Too few. That's why the idea was never made secret or abated in some way.
"There is a catch, of course... those that suicide aren't blessed, so we may have harder time reincarnating than most, and we'll most definitely go through some trauma in our first lives, if not our second, third, and fourth."
The brunette paused, looking up again. He fumbled for a cigarette, and Konzen dryly noticed that his hands were shaking ever so slightly. "It's risky," Tenpou said after taking a drag. "It's extremely risky, but it's better than becoming heaven's playthings."
"But you're asking me to kill myself in front of him," Konzen said quietly.
Tenpou kept his hand to his mouth, finally pulling the cigarette away to smile disarmingly. "Could you really ask him to commit suicide as well?" That shut the man up. "I thought so. And even if you could, it's a hundred times riskier for him. He was born of the earth and is not immortal. He has a longer lifespan because he's heretic, of course, but he's far from immortal. When he dies, it's very likely he'll just return to the dust and air he was made from."
Konzen simply closed his eyes, letting the full weight of everything finally fall on him. It was only after he tangled his fingers in his disheveled hair that the marshal's expression softened into something that clearly resembled sympathy. "It might be sooner than you wanted, but at least the situation is helping you realize some things, am I right?" he asked gently. The blonde didn't look up, but he did mutter something akin to agreement. "It's hard not to love that kid," Tenpou said, still prodding gently for a reaction.
The man winced, his violet eyes hidden in shadow as a very faint, "I do," was heard. "God help me... I do..." He couldn't seem to say anything more.
"Whoa. Don't tell me you two are making wedding vows with the kid in the other room desperately in need."
Startled, Konzen looked up, meeting the amused gaze of Kenren Taishou. The general wore his usual confident smirk, leaning against the doorway in a pose that suggested forced casualty. "Kid's suffering the worst migraine," he reported.
"The makeshift diadem is holding?" Tenpou asked, a bit of his collected marshal tone returning.
"Mmhm." Kenren nodded. "Barely. I asked him if he wanted me to take it off so he wouldn't have to put up with the pain, but he's scared of turning into that thing again." He snorted. "Kid's got stamina; I'll give him that. Someday that'll be all that'll get him through life."
Blood finally seemed to be circulating properly; Konzen got to his feet. Before he could say anything, the general's dark eyes turned to him. "He's asking for you."
Wordless and shaking, Konzen left.
Waiting until the man was out of earshot, Kenren turned his gaze fully on Tenpou, his smirk fading into an unusually solemn expression. "Were you serious about all that?"
"Every word," Tenpou returned quietly.
The general sighed heavily, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like a frustrated curse. His body language continued to portray calmness, but his eyes clearly expressed something else-- something that only Goujun, watching carefully from his place on the floor at the time, could safely place as fear.
None of these men wanted to die, but they didn't really have a choice.
And though he was a hostage, he really had to wonder at his own options... and where his loyalties were lying: with the emperor or with these four traitors.
Phase Two
It was like leaving one hell and going into another, even hotter one. Konzen found himself staring at the practically helpless form on the thin mattress, squirming and clutching his head as the boy desperately tried to bite back moans of pain. Hazy, golden eyes lifted to his, widening when he recognized his keeper.
"K... Konzen..."
The deity knelt by the boy's bedside, trying to keep his expression neutral. However the boy seemed to recognize the attempt and grew instantly worried, his hands falling from his head to reach out to the man. Konzen pushed his hand aside, muttering, "Don't. Just don't." Not seeming to understand, the boy nodded anyway.
After a long moment of staring, the boy suddenly managed a weak smile. "It doesn't hurt that bad," he said, trying to sound flippant in his childish way. "I get worse headaches after you hit me."
"I believe it," Konzen replied, unable to find comfort in their usual banter. The boy seemed to realize this, for he fell silent again.
Looking down at the child, seeing the usually energetic and carefree boy acting so helpless, rendered weak due to pain and injury, Konzen couldn't help but feel that gut-wrenching ache.
Leaving him would be pure hell.
"Konzen...?"
The note of concern couldn't be ignored. The blonde found himself staring at the boy for a long moment, watching him struggle to sit up even while trying to hold his head,a s though pressure would alleviate the pain. "Konzen... what's wro--"
He clamped a hand over the boy's mouth, pinning the startled eyes with a hard stare. "Be quiet," he finally whispered. "Just be quiet, Goku."
Goku slowly nodded, but the instant the hand was dropped he asked, "Why?"
Konzen shook his head. He knew it would be best to tell the boy what was going on, but he couldn't bring himself to even mention the idea of them being seperated, especially at this crucial time...
So instead he found himself doing something that would likely prove to be very stupid.
"I need you to promise me something, Goku." Curiosity sparked in those golden eyes; the boy seemed so eager to listen to anything, everything that would take his mind off the pain. Konzen spoke slowly and deliberately. "In a few hours all of us are going to be in separate rooms... and during that time, no matter what happens, I need you to stay here. No matter what sounds you hear, you have to stay here."
Goku blinked, then smiled charmingly. "I promise," he said sincerely, wincing as though even speaking seemed to hurt him.
"I mean it," Konzen hissed, wiping the smile off the boy's face. "I can't stress how important this is. Don't move at all!"
Fear slowly seeped into the boy's eyes; still he nodded, though a lot more hesitantly than before. "Okay, Konzen," he said uncomfortably. "I promise."
"One other thing."
Konzen glanced back, wondering just how long Tenpou had been standing there. Thankfully, neither Kenren nor Goujun was in sight. The marshal strode into the room, pausing in front of the boy to give him something. It was round and very smooth, without a single scratch to mar it. Only a single piece, like that of a puzzle, seemed to be carved out, and Tenpou had that piece in his hand. He gave both to Goku.
In response to both questioning looks, he explained briefly. "Like Konzen said, you need to stay in here. I want you to count to twenty after we all leave, and then put this piece back in place. You need to put it down immediately after that, Goku-- and do it gently. Very gently. Pretend it's a puppy," the man suggested after a brief pause. "Then back away from it as quickly as you can."
"Is this... a game?" Goku asked uncertainly, looking from one man to the other. Konzen had to look away; the sheer innocent worry in the boy's eyes unnerved him, made him want to back out, made him want to resist lying... but logic told him that if he did, he'd ruin their chances of ever meeting again.
"Yes," Konzen said quietly, his gaze on the floor. "It's a game." And that was true-- it was a game, one with very high stakes, one where they could either lose or win everything.
His master avoiding his eyes seemed to only worry the boy further, but Goku nodded, clutching the piece and strange ball to his chest. "Okay," he said, unable to hide the tremble of childish fear in his voice. "I'll play. I promise not to cheat."
If only it were as simple as it sounded.
Phase Three
It was a messy, crude way to go, and Konzen didn't like it. But with their limited supplies they didn't really have another option.
"Goku thinks we're playing a game," Tenpou informed Kenren quietly. "So we're going to all go into separate rooms to carry this out."
Kenren snorted, obviously trying not to look as tense as he clearly felt. "A game, eh? Only a monkey would believe that."
Most surprising, thought Konzen, was Goujun's request to join in on their scheme.
"But why?" Tenpou had asked, clearly taken aback by the prospect.
"Because someone's going to foul up," Goujun had replied calmly. "Probably the weak one." Kenren had snickered at that, shooting Konzen a meaningful glance. The barb had only proceeded to irk Konzen. "Besides, Li Touten has taken over my position. I really don't see a way out for myself, either."
Tenpou had given him a grim smile. "You'll be reincarnated and eventually tied back in with the rest of us."
"A curse I'll have to bear," the former Western Army general had agreed a bit ruefully.
Kenren had found the whole exchange amusing-- and clearly admirable, for he had even gone so far as to say teasingly, "I always knew there was a reason I liked you." Goujun's look hadn't been one entirely of annoyance.
With that settled, the four men sans Goujun left the room; Goujun would remain there, committing his own act of suicide when ready. The other three, however, had reason to want to leave-- their last goodbyes.
"No peeking, half pint," Kenren said, ruffling the boy's hair.
"Okay, Ken-nii," Goku said softly, watching the man give him what seemed to be an attempt at an uplifting wink before disappearing into an adjoining hallway.
"Don't forget what I told you," Tenpou said.
Goku clutched the strange gift. "I won't, Ten-chan."
Last was Konzen, who just stared. He couldn't find any casual way to leave like Kenren had, and had nothing important to say like Tenpou. So he just stared for good few seconds, and those seconds stretched into tense minutes.
Finally, hesitantly, Goku offered a smile. "Aren't you gonna go hide, Konzen?"
Konzen nodded. There was a lot building up inside of him, so much he really should have said, so much Goku really should have heard... but he couldn't bring himself to speak up.
"... see you later."
And that was all he could do; despite a deep-set fear he didn't want to recognize, he had the strangest feeling that somehow he could hold himself to that promise. Goku blinked, startled, before he looked relieved and managed a stronger smile. "Okay, Konzen."
Konzen left.
Phase Four
"What are you doing?!"
The horrified screech might have startled him if he'd had the energy left. Instead, Konzen was barely able to turn his head, seeing a blurry outline of a small figure in the doorway... one with surprisingly clear features, and the most striking gold eyes...
"Idiot," he whispered hoarsely. Something warm trickled from his mouth. Blood. "I thought... we told you... to stay put--" He pitched forward then, unable to make his weakened knees support his weight any longer.
There were several short, sharp screams following his collapse, and small but rough hands on his body, desperately pulling the blade from his stomach. "Oh, gods, Konzen! You're hurt! Why'd you do that?! Ten-chan! Ken-nii! Konzen's hurt!" Goku screamed. Naturally, he got no answer. By then the other two were probably dead or almost there; Konzen had the distinct feeling neither had been as hesitant as him... or as frightened.
Goku's fingers curled on his shirt, making him wince. "Konzen! Why'd you do it?!" Cracking an eye open, the blonde flinched to see the boy on the verge of tears. Even now Goku was trying his hardest not to cry; he kept biting his lip, trying to stifle his sobs. Konzen vaguely remembered once telling him he looked ridiculous when he cried... and that was true, in a sense, because so many children did.
Right now, though, it was only painful.
The boy was practically doubled over now; the migraine must have intensified because of his panic. "Konzen... you big jerk..." the boy whispered tearfully, still clutching the man's clothes. "I'll never... forgive you..." He hiccupped.
His stabbing must have been inefficient; he was still very much aware of the boy, though it was becoming increasingly harder to speak and talk. "Stop that," he muttered, becoming breathless just trying to say a few simple words. Goku continued trembling, continued choking on his sobs... continued hurting the man through his tears.
Konzen growled softly. "Goku..." The boy looked at him, no anger in his eyes as his words had suggested; only dim, golden pools of pain. "Don't... forget... what Tenpou..." He winced, his body curling as he coughed up blood. Gods, dying was painful!
Goku didn't seem to hear him, his hands moving over the man, finding a strand of his blonde hair and petting it. "Konzen," he mumbled, eyes fixed on the yellow strands. "My sun... you can't die..." It wasn't him trying to throw himself into denial; the boy was trying so hard to believe that nothing could harm his keeper. "Just like the sun..."
"Goku..."
Something in his voice seemed to pull the right trigger. Fresh tears sprung to the boy's eyes, but he quickly wiped them away, pulling out the strange gift Tenpou had given him. As instructed, he used his shaking child's hands to push the strange puzzle piece into place. The piece seemed to quiver momentarily, then melt into the rest of the ball, transforming the whole object into one smooth, completely unblemished sphere.
Goku's eyes widened and he made a small strangled noise, turning his gaze wildly to his keeper. But Tenpou's gift did nothing but just sit there, not taking part in any more special effects. Goku's eyes went dead and blank, staring at the wall, not even recognizing it. With that he collapsed, sprawling on the floor like an exhausted, sleeping child. The ball slipped from his fingers, falling with a dull thud to the floor and rolling away.
Somehow feeling the boy was now safe, Konzen allowed unconsciousness to take him, and then Death.
Phase Five
It was fascinating how different the boy seemed; he was unusually docile, sitting on the floor with his ankles crossed. He didn't even fidget, his golden eyes transfixed on the floor.
Most interesting was when he didn't even look up at the mention of Tenpou, Kenren, or even Konzen's names. Kanzeon watched from her place in the hearing, intrigued by the strange turn of events. She had been pleased and most delighted when her nephew had run off with the heretical being-- it seemed he had changed drastically in a few short days, after all. That kid really did bring a vast variety of fortune, both good and bad.
From what Li Touten was saying, by the time the Western Army had arrived in the isolated hideout the three traitors and their hostage were all dead, the boy unconscious. They strongly believed -- or at least wanted to leave the impression -- that the boy had killed all four.
Of course that was completely ludicrous, but it was so frustratingly humorous how ready everyone was to believe that.
Then came the time to decide what they were going to do with the boy. Of course, heaven prohibited killing, but now they were certain it was far too dangerous to keep the boy alive. He continued to sit on the floor, subdued, as though he didn't know where or who he was.
Something caught the bodhisattva's eye. She gestured for Jiroushin to come closer and murmured a quick order into his ear. He gave her an odd look, but she simply gave him a smug smile. He knew it wouldn't be wise to deny the request.
"Lady Kanzeon Bosatsu would like to know the purpose of that sphere."
They had been attempting to keep it on the table, trying to make it seem like little more than decoration, but obviously they had failed. Once it was in her hands, the goddess turned it over, observing it.
She smirked. "Ah," she drawled. "Suddenly it's all falling into place." Tenpou Gensui, you are just as clever as I expected, she thought to herself. Calmly, she said, "That boy isn't experiencing amnesia-- his memories have been locked away. He probably can't even remember his own name."
"We don't even know for sure," Li Touten began, his voice tense, but she waved her hand dismissively.
"We'll just see. Oi, kid." The boy didn't look up. She gestured for Jiroushin to bring him closer; only when his chains were pulled on did the boy look up, his golden eyes flickering to the bodhisattva; no recognition flickered. She leaned down to grab his small chin, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Tell me," she said, already knowing the answer. "Does the name Kenren mean anything to you?"
Looking puzzled, the boy shook his head. Some people still didn't look entirely convinced, so she went on. "Or Tenpou?" Still nothing. "Nataku?" The boy continued to stare; she smirked. "Or... Konzen?"
Softly, his voice coloured with uncertainty, the boy just whispered, "I don't understand at all. Who are you?"
Satisfied, she released him and sat back. "Can't remember a thing, that kid. It seems a bit silly to punish someone who can't even remember the name of the one who raised him, doesn't it?"
It wasn't quite that simple, but eventually heaven's court reached a decision: the heretic child would be locked down on earth, confined in the same substance that created him. Special seals would be attached to his cave, to ward off any normal human life. Only a high-ranking monk or priest would be able to break the seals, and really, what sensible follower of the gods would want to do that?
Then there was still the matter of the boy's memories. The deed was already done, and it wouldn't do much good to return them to the boy. Therefore they would be locked away in heaven's vaults.
Of course, there was still the matter of needing a toushin taishi. Nataku had slipped into a comatose state, and with the other heretic boy and his memories locked away for who knew how long. They still needed a killing doll.
Another idea took hold of the ever mischievous goddess of mercy. "What about that half-itan?" she asked flippantly, keeping her expression of sheer boredom. She waved a hand to make what she was saying seem even less suspicious, as though it was just a random thought, one not too deeply thought upon. "Flame, or whatever his name is. He's capable, am I right?"
And so Homura was made the new God of War.
When the hearing was over, before she handed the memory sphere over to the guard with the warning to be extremely cautious, Kanzeon discreetly drew a manicured nail over the sphere, making the smallest chip. Since they were required to handle it with gloves to ensure only the most utmost caution, that little chip went unnoticed-- except by her ever-observant underling.
"Kanzeon Botatsu-sama," he said some time later, wisely waiting until the boy and his memories had been taken away and they were out of earshot. "Why did you mar the sphere?"
She smirked. "Think, Jiroushin," she said smugly. "What would any blemish to that do? Why were they handling it so carefully?"
"Because even the slightest scratch could be key to the gateway of that boy's memories," he answered immediately. "But then why--"
"How well do you know me?" she asked, taking a seat in her all-too-comfortable throne, her eyes on the water lilies in her pond. "This should prove to be interesting. He'll undoubtedly tap into his memories eventually, and it's going to take something special to trigger them. I can't wait to see what it will be."
Phase Six
He'd lived with the man for nearly six months, and one would think that six months would be adequate time enough to adjust to one's roommate's habits. He was, to a point: he was by now used to his formal, polite speech, his subtle form of teasing, even able to predict the man's mood despite his ever-smiling expression.
He was so familiar with this man that he didn't find it at all odd that he could safely say that Cho Hakkai bringing home a pet was out of character.
Especially when that pet was a dragon.
"You can't be serious," he finally said, not even noticing that his cigarette had fallen from his lips and to the floor.
Green eyes lowered, but the calm voice wasn't at all chastised-- in fact, it was the one rebuking. "Gojyo, don't let your cigarette burn on the floor."
On reflex the red-haired half-breed bent down to pick up the fallen nicotine, but halfway through he paused, shooting the man a look. Hakkai just smiled, clearly amused. Gojyo reluctantly picked it up, snuffing it out in an ashtray on the table. It wasn't like it would do him any good now.
However, doing that only made him have to look at the creature Hakkai had 'rescued.'
"I'd expect something like this from that dumb monkey, not you," he protested.
Hakkai glanced at the animal as well, frowning a bit. "I know, but... there's something familiar about him."
Sha Gojyo rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. Just when you think you understand an eccentric... With strained patience, he said, "Somehow I'd find it hard to forget a dragon."
"He can turn into a jeep."
Gojyo blinked, staring at the man before throwing his hands into the air. "Well, that really helps. I mean, next time we want to take a vacation, we can just take our little friend here--"
"Kyuu!" The dragon made a sort of squeak in defense, cutting Gojyo off with the high-pitched noise. He turned to glare at it, as though blaming it for everything, but something made him pause. The dragon just stared back, its red eyes unblinking and as innocent as any animal's.
Despite that, he got a strange sense of déjà vu; somehow he could picture similar red eyes, larger, almost human, looking at him in a way that very few people would have dared to: thoughtful, analyzing, and curious. Quietly, he said, "I think I see what you mean..."
Hakkai sounded very pleased. "Then it's settled. We're keeping Hakuryuu."
White Dragon. Gojyo shook his head. Never let it be said that Hakkai was very creative with names.
Phase Seven
He found himself waking on a cot, tucked away in a room he didn't recognize. Glancing around, however, told him enough. The lack of decoration made the room impersonal, but it was adorned with more possessions than a monk's cell would have. He was in a hotel.
Seconds later he realized why. The sudden epiphany made him gasp; he sat up so fast his head spun. Groaning and clutching his head, he attempted to curl into himself by tucking his head between his knees, trying to quell the sudden onslaught of pain. Worst of all, with that pain came images, brief pictures of someone that looked like his keeper, but it definitely wasn't him.
The pain finally faded enough for him to lift his head; he was lying on the floor, and on the bed was the very man in his thoughts. He stared for a long moment, wondering briefly and indignantly why the arrangement was this way, before he remembered more of the recent night's events.
"Oh, gods, Sanzo," he whispered, instantly scrambling to his feet and stumbling to the man's beside. The headache still lingered and he slowly fell to his knees, feeling languid. With a small groan he rested his forehead on his arms, feeling only a cold ring of metal touch his skin.
When no rough voice rose to rebuke him, he decided that the man was still unconscious. It wasn't surprising; Genjo Sanzo was only human, and he'd taken quite an injury the other night. Getting stabbed through the stomach was no joke.
Damn homicidal bastard, he thought, feeling a surge of anger directed toward the monk Sanzo had called Shuuei. After trying to deter Sanzo from shooting his former comrade, this had happened...
Somehow he couldn't stay angry. The boy pulled his head up, feeling drained-- and depressed. It scared him to think he might lose his sun, so soon after attaining it again. He had a gut feeling that the sun had always been there for him before he had been locked away as heaven's punishment (a punishment he still wasn't certain he deserved; he couldn't remember anything that had happened) and that it had somehow come back to him in the form of Sanzo.
Who was that guy...?
The strange person he'd gotten flashes of before he'd transformed... was it possible that was his former sun? Was he betraying Sanzo in some way by thinking that? Sanzo was the one that had freed him from the cave; what if that other man had been the one to lock him up? But then why would be feel such a tearing sense of longing?
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. He couldn't remember a thing about his past, but there had to be reason for it. There had to be... right?
Try as he might, he just couldn't convince himself. Even worse, he couldn't remember.
Son Goku stood and went to find a chair.
Phase Eight...
