L'amour Vrai Attend

Chapter 1

The weather is crisp and pleasant and a gentle wind tugs at Donna Paulsen's hair as she steps out of the cab and stares up at the large, shiny building in front of her. She brushes back the locks of hair that have fallen across her face, takes a deep breath and walks through the front door. She gives the doorman a quick smile and a nod as she passes him on the way to the elevator. All the while, her left hand seems almost as heavy as her heart.

It's seven a.m. and her mind is already at work ticking away and making long lists of things that she's due to complete during the course of the day. She walks into the shiny lobby of Pearson Hardman, her stilettos clicking against the polished floor. The office is scarcely populated – half the associated barely turn up before half past eight. She can see Rachel Zane typing away at her desk, her pretty face furrowed in concentration. She looks up and meets Donna's eye, smiling at her as a form of greeting. Donna raises her hand in a friendly wave, consciously telling herself to keep her left hand down and out of sight. She doesn't want anyone to know yet, not before she tells him about it first.

Her heart squeezes painfully in her chest and she's overwhelmed with a feeling of guilt, although she has no idea why.

She walks to her desk and plops her bag onto it, sliding into the chair behind it to organize the stack of mail on her desk. She sifts through the pile, dividing it neatly on the basis of who they were from and how important they were. She pauses as she places Harvey's mail in the different pile and fiddles uncomfortably with the ring on her left hand. The damn thing felt like it weighed a ton and it bothers her for some reason. She moves it halfway up her finger before shoving it back down again. Damn rock.

Chris had proposed the night before and she'd accepted. The only thing that had really bothered her was the bomb he'd dropped after he'd got that ring on her finger. It was the same bomb she's prepared to drop on Harvey and she can feel her insides clenching nervously at the thought of how he'd respond.

She looks up suddenly at the sound of shoes on the polished floors. She even knows the sound his shoes make when he strides down the hall towards his office. It gives her a strange sense of comfort to know that she knows more about him than any of the other women he's dated know about him. He's wearing a charcoal suit this morning with a black tie that contrasts sharply with his crisp white shirt. He looks impossibly handsome in the morning light that's streaming into the office through the windows on the left. He looks every bit like the handsome, successful man that he is.

"Morning," she says, trying to keep her voice neutral. "You look awfully chipper." She isn't used to seeing him as early as eight a.m. He usually comes to work only around half past eleven. She notes the spring in his step, the smile on his face and immediately jumps to the conclusion that it meant he'd successfully closed another big client.

"Closed Cromwell this morning," he tells her, taking the mail she hands him. She self-consciously shoves her left hand beneath the desk, shielding it from his line of sight. He sifts through the mail, handing her a half that he couldn't be bothered with and strolls into his office with the other half in his hand. She sneaks a look at him over her shoulder and sighs. How on earth was she ever going to tell him that she was getting married and moving away?

"Donna?"

She's shaken out of her reverie and looks up to see Mike Ross strolling up to her. She forces her face into a smile, resolutely keeping her hand hidden beneath the desk. She's starting to feel like holding on to this secret of hers was a lot more trouble than it's worth.

"Mike," she says, keeping her eyes back on her computer screen. "If that's pure shock on your face, I completely get it. I have absolutely no clue what on earth he's doing this early in the morning in the office–"

Mike blinks. "Wait, Harvey's here already? Oh crap." His hand flies to his hair and he represses a groan. "I've got to get some stuff to finish now that he's here. I kind of need your help. I have no idea how to handle this particular big guy." He hands her a fat file.

Donna gives him a stern look as she flips through it. "Didn't they teach you any of this in Harvard?" She pretends to clap her hand to her mouth in shocked realization. "Oh, right, I forgot. You didn't go to Harvard," she whispers cheekily.

"I'm glad you bothered to keep your voice down," Mike whispers back good-naturedly. "Wouldn't want that getting around, do we?"

"I'm sure you don't," Donna replies cheerfully. "I'm sure Harvey doesn't, either. That means I don't." She pauses abruptly. "I'll make sure I don't tell Harvey you aren't done with your stuff yet," she tells him brightly.

Mike looks relieved. "Thank you so much, Donna. I owe you." He stops, looks confused. "I keep forgetting. Do you want double chocolate chip cookies or a cocoa coffee with sugar and whipped cream?"

"The second one," she tells him sweetly. "Make that a double sugar cocoa coffee with whipped cream. I'd like it preferably before lunch." She gives him a little wink as he hurries away.

He was a good find of Harvey's, that one, she thinks as she clicks away at her computer. What had Harvey told her to look out for on the day they were conducting interviews? That's right, another him.

She pushes back down on the guilt that's threatening to bubble to the surface. She chances another glance at Harvey, whose back was facing her as he talked away on his phone.

She knows how dependent Harvey is on her, how well they work as a team, how long they'd worked together and how loyal they'd been to each other. It didn't seem fair to hold on to such a large chuck of information. She glances down at the ring on her hand and fiddles with it. After another glance at Harvey, she climbs to her feet and walks to his office.

She raps sharply on his door, letting herself in as he turns around. He slips his phone back into his pocket and sits back down on the chair behind his desk.

"Donna, I need you to call up the Rowland brothers and confirm my meeting with them at noon today," he tells her, his eyes on the screen of his laptop. "Also, I'm going to need you to–"

"We need to talk," she says.

He glances up at her, a shade of amusement in his eyes. "Isn't that what we're doing right now?"

She walks up to him, places her hands on his desk. Looks at him in the eye. The rock on her ring glitters and she finds herself wishing he'd glance down and see for himself and understand, so she wouldn't have to speak the words that she didn't want to speak.

"I mean, we need to talk." She stresses on the last word. When he continues to look confused, she sees that as a sign to plough on. "I'm getting married, Harvey," she says quietly.

She sees his features freeze and he immediately looks down at her hands that are splayed on the table in front of him. His brow furrows. She pulls her hand off and places it self-consciously behind her back. For a moment, neither of them speaks.

"I didn't even know you were seeing someone." His voice is quiet but neutral, not revealing any emotion.

"I wanted to keep things quiet," she says, turning away from him in the pretence of surveying the display of basketballs in his office.

"Well, congratulations." He tries to keep his voice light, although there's a surge of conflicting emotions inside him. She doesn't respond. There's a glazed, faraway look in her eyes as she gazes out of the window.

"At least one of us is going to be getting married," he jokes. She tosses him a look and sighs.

"That's not it, Harvey."

"You're eloping?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm moving," she tells him. She watches as his features freeze over in shock for the second time.

"Moving?" he asks quietly. "Moving where? When?"

"Pennsylvania." Her voice is so low he can barely hear her. Unconsciously, she fiddles with the ring again. "I'm moving in two months. He doesn't want a long engagement."

"Pennsylvania. Huh." He stares at her, his mouth dry. "You never really struck me as a Philly girl."

She looks at him, really looks at him and wonders what he's really feeling, whether he's feeling the same pangs of sadness that she's feeling. As she stood in his office, gazing at him, she's struck by the thought that she shouldn't be feeling this way. At all. She isn't supposed to be feeling so upset about leaving him, her boss, when she's getting married.

She waits for him to say something, anything, but his face is an impassive mask. Of course, he was a lawyer, it was his job to conceal emotions and take a logical stance on everything. It infuriates her because this was the all-or-nothing-moment for her, the moment when even the smallest indication from him that he wanted her to stay would cause her to throw her engagement ring out of the window and stay there with him.

But instead, all he says is, "I'm happy for you, Donna."

I'm happy for you, Donna. His words crash over her like a tidal wave and at that moment, she realises that she's projecting again, she's hoping he'd tell her how sorry he is that she's leaving and that it wouldn't be the same without her. His words cut her deep and she nods, lowering her gaze to the floor and says, "I'm happy for me, too."

Saying that, she leaves his office, her heels clicking furiously against the manicured tiles.


A/N: I just couldn't with all these Donna/Harvey feels. Do read and review, I appreciate reviews more than anything!