So, I thought I'd make a one-shot of what I would do, were I to play a game of chess with Edward Cullen.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward Cullen, I am not Stephanie Meyer

Chess

I stared at the chess board in front of me and then up at my competitor. Edward Cullen, a mind reading vampire. I looked down at one of my pawns. Yes, I'll move the pawn I thought to myself. Instead, I moved my knight. Edward chuckled slightly, probably at my attempt to decieve him. He moved the pawn in front of his king on space forward. Hmm, should I move my knight again? No, I'll move the other knight. I moved the same knight again. Edward didn't laugh this time, but when I looked into his eyes I could see the laughter there. He moved his bishop so that it ligned up with my king. Were one of my pawns not there, I would have been in check. I could tell what move he was trying to do. Seriously! Four move checkmate? Not bloody likely. I moved one of my pawns to make an escape for my king. I don't fall for four move checkmates. Not. Gonna. Happen.

Edward moved his bishop back. Hmm, what now? I mentally asked myself. Then I remembered that Edward could hear my thoughts. No cheating. I warned him. He laughed. Fine, so be it. But, of course, I wasn't going to let him just pull my moves out of my head. I had a plan. Taco, taco, taco, taco, taco, meow, taco, taco, LIZARD, coffee, llama, taco. I thought as I moved my queen. Edward looked at me like I was crazy, which, in all fairness, I probably was. Well, I said no cheating. I thought I heard him mutter something about 'she's insane', which I knew I was. Oh, I know I am. I replied. Edward moved his queen diagonally by two spaces. Hamster, banana, phone, RING RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANA PHONE! I thought when I moved my other knight. He moved his queen again. I nearly laughed when I saw the mistake he had made. I took his queen with my knight. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. I thought, and I laughed evilly. What do ya have to say about that?

"You're insane." Edward muttered.

"I thought we covered that." I replied with a grin. But seriously, how did you miss that? Edward didn't have a reply, so he glared. That made me laugh. He moved one of his pawns and took my knight. But I didn't care, I had his queen. PUH-PUH-PUH-POKER FACE-PUH-PUH-POKER FACE. I moved my queen and put him in check.

"Check." I told him. He moved his king forward. Pickles, unicorn, pony, zebra, taco, taco, meow. I moved one of my pawns so I could move my bishop. He moved his knight. Sunshine lollipops and rainbows everything... I moved my bishop and put him in check again. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

The game went on for awhile, until, eventually I put him in checkmate with my two rooks.

"Checkmate." I told him with a satisfied smile. RAWR! I added mentally for no reason whatsoever.

"Definitely insane." I heard him mutter. That I am, that I am.

Hope ya liked it, I am very random and this is what I would do if I ever played chess against Edward Cullen, or, really, any mind reader.