I have no idea how the dating thing works, having never dated EVER! I've had this stuck in my head for a few days and decided to get it out.
Tiny spoilers, nothing major though. I might make a sequel, I dont know yet
(...)
"Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of test? Let me guess, you're trying to make her hate me so you can have, is that it?"
"I'm already seeing someone, of the opposite gender, so no. Plus, you came to me."
After sharing a mind-boggling kiss with Pepper following a Hammer drone attack, Tony was at a loss. He'd never seen a woman more than once in his life, let alone attempted to woo her, so he'd gone looking for advise. Rhodey would laugh and Happy, for some bazaar reason, didnt seem like an option, so, for an even more bazaar reason, he'd asked Natasha.
"Coulson? Oh no, Fury?"
"He's outside the agency. And stop asking, we're sorting out you're love life, not mine." Tony sighed, tapping his pen against his notepad.
"Fine. Run me by this again, slowly. Not even I can write that fast."
"Ok. There are three stages to beginning a proper relationship. Just remember though, if you push, she'll pull away. First date, take her somewhere out in the open. A carnival, picnic in the park..."
"What about a museum?"
"Its Pepper, so that could work. Just keep it in the open, lots of people that sort of thing. Dont screw it up and she might let you hold her hand. Only if she lets do you progress to stage 2. Pick something a little more intimate, dinner and a movie, but still keeping it in public. Play your cards right, and you might get a goodnight kiss."
"We already kissed."
"Thats irrelevant. Stage 3, dinner here. No, take out doesnt count. Learn to cook cause I know you cant. Maybe, she'll stay the night. If she does, make sure you're still there in the morning. If you cant follow something as simple as that, I'm afraid to report that all hope for you to start a relationship with Pepper is lost." Tony mentally cringed at the thought. "If that is all, I have to help Pepper with the transition in the hope that you'll your job properly this time."
Watching Natasha walk away, Tony had a sudden thought.
"What stage are you on with Happy?" She turned with a mutual look on her face.
"He kissed me when I left his place this morning." She left with a smirk on her face.
She'd actually stayed in the spare room after one of her neighbors left out leftovers and the apartment had been fumigated. Tony didnt need to know that though, let him wonder.
