Sebastian twists and turns in his bed, causing the sheets to become a big mess in the middle. His eyes are still closed, his breath heavy and his body warm as fire. He shivers slightly as he once again roll around. His eyes finally open, but he can see nothing but the darkness surrounding him. He hasn't been asleep, but tonight it almost felt like he was. The thought of Cameron in his wife's arms is haunting him, even though he tries to hide it. If he's quiet enough, he can almost hear his brother's light snoring next to him, despite the fact that he knows that he is not there. He is laid in another bed, in another town. Hell, even in another country. By the time they'd finished High School, Cameron had grown found of New York, and remained there. That's where he met Melissa. Or maybe it was Michelle. He never cared to remember her name. Melissa, Michelle or whatever she was named, made Cameron happy. She enjoyed less fancy resturants, bands with names Sebastian had never heard of - she could hold Cam's hand in public and place a loving kiss onto his lips whenever she wanted to. And she didn't fear love.

And Sebastian? Sebastian had tried to drown himself in booze, and sex. There had been no point in fighting, his brother had made things clear he didn't want anything to do with him. He was done. That was the time Sebastian realised that he didn't fear love, he fear losing, and the two were different things. Love is what made his heart beat faster as soon as Cameron stepped into the room, fear of losing him was what drove him into sleeping with Kurt. Sometimes the thought amused him, sometimes it made him cry. He wasn't done, and that's why Cameron still haunted him through the morning and through the night after all these years.

The brunette takes a deep breath as he slowly sit up in his bed. It's worse tonight then it usually is. He wish he didn't know why, it'd somehow make things easier. In a matter of hours, he'll be in the same room as his brother again. A Smythe Family dinner. It is the only time his parents ever expect him to come, but he isn't sure why it mattered to him. He doesn't have to go. This time there will be two children clinging onto him, shrieking "Uncle Seb! Uncle Seb!" He remembers their names. Anton and Isabelle. French names, of course. They both have Cameron's green eyes. Mini version of the green eyes that refuses to ever meet Sebastian's, no matter how hard he tries. He says Sebastian's name with a mechanic voice, with nothing behind it. But Sebastian remembers. Green eyes filled with love and compassion. Has he forgotten or does he simply wish to forget? Sebastian wonders. He wonders and wonders until his head aches, on the edge of exploding.

The night slowly turns into dawn as he sits on the edge of his bed, staring into the thin air. He's still expecting Cameron to come stumble out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, and his hair in an adorable mess. He waits. But nobody comes out. The sun lightens up the room, and Sebastian lets out a deep sigh. It's a foolish thing, to await his brother stumbling out of the bathroom every morning. It's a foolish thing, to hold onto something that will never be again. It's a foolish thing, but it's what gets him to get off the bed and into the shower. Maybe this year he'll get a glance. Something to let Sebastian know that he still exist.


Based on Through The Morning, Through The Night by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, and Somebody That I Used To Know by Darren Criss and Matt Bomer (originally by Gotye and Kimbra) The title is taken from Skid Row's I Remember You. I don't own anything, just written to entertain myself.