Never Ready

Chapter 1

A/N: Well, the first, a Xenogears fanfic! Whoo-hoo! So I just finished this game without complete understanding of every single itsy-bitsy tiny detail on the storyline. I'm still gonna try and make this as accurate as possible, okey ? Oh, yes, please read and don't forget to review ^_-. You know how writers need feedback; any kind would be fine, constructive criticism or some pointers for better, writing skills. Ahem, sorry, but simply stress this 'cause it is just so important! Oh well, if you really don't wanna review, by all means don't, no one's forcing ya -.- I hope you will enjoy the story! And here it is!

~*~*~*~*~

A period of time passed after the defeat of Deus, Ignas finally settled to true peace.

Bart stood out on the high balcony of the Fatima Castle, watching and observing in silence his soon-to-be kingdom. He sighed; he just wasn't completely ready to ascend the throne yet. He crossed his arm over his chest, thinking back when he had mentioned this to Sigurd.

" Man, Sid, You don't know I'm not mature enough to become the king yet. Besides, you are my brother, so why don't you take over?"

Sigurd smiled, his uncovered blue eye shone. " Young master, you know I cant do that. No matter what the circumstances is. The throne is rightfully yours."

"But, Sig. The people need a responsible ruler. Since you all objected to my idea of Aveh becoming a republic, I don't want to disappoint everyone by making a fool out of myself." Bart winced slightly, realizing who whinny he sounded.

Sigurd kept his smile. " We didn't object to your decision, the people did, they want their king back."

Bart shook his head. " Geez, talking to you is definitely no help."

"Bart. We all believe in you. Maison and I taught you everything we knew, hoping that you will become a good king and bring the people happiness when you take the throne. Old maison especially, you're like his son."

" Yeah, yeah. There's no rush right? Ascend throne, make people happy. You better be there to do the paper work, 'cause I'm REALLY bad at that sort of thing." Bart warned.

Sigurd laughed. " Of course, I will be with you all the way."

"You have to, the throne's half yours by right." Bart added.

" Perhaps. But there's just one thing you have to definitely do on your own." Sigurd said, smiling benevolently.

" And what is that? " Bart asked, somewhat suspicious and with a gut feeling that told him it was another thing he wasn't ready for.

"Well, since your becoming a king. It'll come to a point to whereas you would have to find yourself a queen."

Bart stared." Ya kidding."

Sigurd shook his head. " No. But you at least should have had a bit of thought on that, its not like you didn't know."

Bart Shifted uncomfortably. " Well...Eh. No really, Sig. Get married? Sheesh."

" I'm not saying right away. But think about it. It is not long before you officially begin to rule Aveh."

Bart waved a hand. " I'm taking a break. Maybe visit some of the others. Can you take over for awhile?"

Sigurd nodded. " Of course." He turned towards the double doors by the balcony. " Say hello to Miss Margie for me."

Bart glared. " How do you-" but before he could finish. Sigurd was already out the door. " Damnit" he muttered, a bit uncomfortable that Sigurd had known he was planning to visit Nisan. "Whatever." Bart brushed the matter aside, and then stared out on the high balcony.

He stood for over an hour or so, still undeciding on matters. Bart didn't know how he felt, not exactly. Sigurd's words got him thinking. If Fatima rule were to continue on, it would be necessary to find a queen. But who? Bart knew who everyone else, Sigurd, old Maison hoped for, but he himself sometimes refused to acknowledge the fact.

"No use brooding about it." Bart said to himself, stretching out his arms and muscles slowly and sighed. He exited the balcony and descended the stairs to the gear docking area just partially under the Fatima Castle, newly built after the battle with Deus. It had special gear docks for all omigears, including the Xenogears. Bart had wanted the docks reserved in case his friends wanted to visit. With everything back to normal, the group had splitted, Fei, Elly, and Emeralda left for the reconstructed Shevat, now fully functional and up in the sky again. Although Elly often visited Nisan and Solaris, which was also being rebuilt. Fei would often be at Citan's house, also working to restore his hometown of Lahan. Billy and his sister Primera went back to their house, the small orphanage. Rico returned to Kislev, and became the heir for becoming the next Kraiser. Maria now lived with her grandfather at Shevat.

Bart often hoped to see all of them again, he never thought much of it, but now he truly missed the time they were together as a group, even if they were fighting to save the world.

Bart passed his Omnigear Anvari, after a short pause, he thought it would be best not to attract attention, so instead he took his old gear Brigandier. He climbed into the pilot seat and felt the familiar manual controls, it has been awhile but he knew he could handle it.

~*~*~*~

Arriving at Nisan, Bart bumped into the tool guy and his wife, who were both delighted to see him.

"Bartholomew! Your Majesty! It's an honour to be seeing you! You must have been busy after your triumphant battle! I've heard you'd be ascending the throne soon." Tool Guy gushed out merrily. His wife smiled happily.

" Yes indeed. We believe in you! We're on your side no matter what. You will become a great king!" She beamed out, her hand fiddled around with her apron.

Bart rubbed his head modestly, slightly embarrassed. " Well, I won't want to disappoint you then."

They both nodded with pride." We know you won't. "The Tool Guy started to say something but his wife interrupted. " So what brings you to Nisan, Bartholomew?" She wrinkled her nose a bit. " Not to be meddling in your affairs or such. Is anything wrong?"

Bart smiled. " Of course not. Just needed to get some air, it's really pressuring these days. I also, well, sort of want to see how Margie is doing."

"Oh." Tool Guy and his wife exchanged glances. " Mother Marguerite?" the Tool Guy's face curved to a smile and he opened his mouth to speak, but his wife immediately shoved him out of the way hurriedly.

" Well then deary, we'll get back to our shop, and we won't bother ya no more. Have a great visit." The Tool Guy's wife said with a laugh, shoving the Tool Guy towards their shop. Bart watched them with a confused look on his face, but shrugged it off.

Bart headed through the town, he had secretly hoped to bump into Margie, but sadly, that wasn't the case. With an unintentional sigh he exited the town and to the cathedral, he was then greeted by Sister Agnas at the door.

" Ah, prince Bartholomew, what a pleasant surprise." She said, gesturing to the stairs that lead to her room. " Come, come. Sit and talk. It's been awhile since the crown prince had a decent conversation with the sister.' Sister Agnas smiled at Bart's puzzled expression.

Once they were inside the chamber, sister Agnas sat at her table and Bart took a seat across from her. " What brings you here to cathedral? From what I've heard, you are to become king oh Aveh soon, shouldn't you be preparing?"

Bart groaned inwardly, the 'king' thing again. " To me, becoming the king is a responsibility you either take on or just not ready for, no amount of preparing can change what you've already set a mind to, or just not to."

Sister Agnas smiled. " True and you? Did you set your mind yet? Or are there still doubts?"

" You see right through me. Sister Agnas. I wont hide it. Although I've probably been prepared ever since the murder of my father. Yet it didn't help change anything, not the fact that I still has doubts."

Sister Agnas nodded solemnly. " I understand how you feel. You're still young, and it is an enormous amount of responsibility for a young man like yourself to take on, no matter how prepared you are." She gazed out into the window by her table. " Time flies. And before you know it,you have lived your life and it is time to move on. To where is a mystery, as are many aspect of our life. Life itself has meaning, but it can be ambiguous. To live life to the fullest. To be loved and to give love, belong and to accept others. You have found the very meaning of your existence. If you hide forever in the shadows of your mistakes, turning your back to problems you know you have to face. You have already given up on life itself, lost the will to reach for dreams, life will end and you will be left in the dust, with nothing but regret, loneliness and self-pity." Bart listened in silence, he knew all this was said for his benefit, for he too needed to live his life in the fullest, and yet he knew he had not yet achieved. " Don't ever think that something is so absolutely out of reach or impossible." Sister Agnas continued. " In doing so you give up without even trying and giving it a chance. If life were that simple we would of not need dreams for us to chase, hopes for us to believe in. we as human being have that courage and determination, to persevere." Sister Agnas smiled. " No matter what others say. Whether god helps us or created us. I am proud to be a human. And to me even without god we will survive, that is the true strength, and it s within every human being, you just have to achieve it. But it is within you, and that is our purpose in life. Not for god, not for the planet, but for ourselves." Sister Agnas then look into Bart's eyes. " And the ones we love."

Bart nodded. " Yes. The need to protect those we care about also is a purpose in life."

"Love is a powerful thing Bartholomew, do not underestimate it. True, the need to protect is strong, but it can often be confused with the feeling of love. It is hard, but often protectiveness grows and blooms, and you find yourself in a situation where you yourself cannot tell it apart. But let me ask you this. If a person you are protective of, even to the point of risking your own life, then given the chance to develop an even closer relationship, to choose to let it become love. Would you or would you not choose it?"

Bart stopped, his mind spun and he couldn't think for the second. " I .ah."

"Think carefully. Be true to yourself, there is no wrong answer. But what you choose will affect you and the one who feels strongly towards you. Think of it as a fork in the road, and you can only choose one path, and follow it to the end."

" I."

~*~*~

A/N: AHAHA!! Cliffhanger! Tehehee! What'll it be?! I was planning on a one chapter short story but this chapter's gone a bit long. If I get enough reviews, let say 6, not too much, I'll start the next chapter OKAY? O0o. the suspense!! I hope the chapter was okay in general. It started out kinda bad though, and ended a bit serious, don't cha think? Well, any comments or complaints and I'll try to fix it up, just review or e-mail, alright? REVIEW!!!

Disclaimer: just played Xenogears, loved it, yes. Own it, no. But I own this plot! Yup! Comes out of this crazy mind of mine! Aren't I proud!? Hell, no. * bangs head on table *