"Gross! I just stuck my butt in a glob of sap!" my thirteen-year-old brother, Tum-Tum whined.
"Shut up, retard," Colt, my other brother (the one with the temper) snapped. "You want him to hear us?"
"What I want is to get out of this stupid tree and eat a sandwich."
"Grandpa always kicks our butts anyway," I told Colt. "I don't get why we bother. He's like Super Ninja or something."
Tum-Tum, always the optimist, said, "We'll get him this time, guys."
"Shh!" Colt hissed. Falling quiet, we heard leisurely footsteps crunching on the loose gravel below us. "Can you see him, Rocky? Is it Grandpa?"
Rocky--that's me. The oldest and wisest Douglas brother. Currently, I was in a tree with my little brothers, waiting to ambush my grandfather as he came home from a morning walk. It was something we tried to do every summer when we were visiting at his cabin. He taught us the way of the ninja, and every time we tried to catch him off guard, we hoped our ninja training would come in handy. But it usually didn't.
"No, I can't see," I replied, craning my neck to spot Grandpa. "It's leafy."
Tum-Tum giggled. "Ooh look at the scary ninja man, 'help, help, I can't see, there's leaves, there's leaves!'"
I whacked him across the head.
The person on the ground stopped walking.
"Good job, Tum, you blew our cover!" Colt whispered heatedly. "Rocky, go!"
Rolling my eyes, I leapt from the tree blindly, just knowing that Grandpa was waiting on the ground with some amazing ninja tactic that would leave me seeing stars. However, I remarkably made contact.
"AUGGGHHH!"
It took me several moments to realize that the person I'd just clobbered wasn't Grandpa--he usually didn't scream like that.
"Take my money! Take my Gummi Bears! Just don't kill me or tie me to a chair and probe me!"
I quickly rolled away. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," I babbled. "I thought you were my grandfather."
It was a girl. She accepted my hand and I helped her to her feet. She was notably shorter than I was. Without thinking, I picked a leaf from her disheveled brown hair. "You jump out of trees and pounce on your grandfather?" she demanded. "You think you're George of the Jungle or something? What kind of sicko are you?"
"We're ninjas! It's normal ninja behavior!" I protested.
Colt and Tum-Tum jumped down and began to laugh hysterically. "Rocky, you just attacked a girl!" Colt cried. "That's not Grandpa!"
"I know that!" I snapped. "Listen, I'm really, really, very, incredibly sorry. Did I hurt you?"
The girl scowled. "I bit my finger."
"How?" Tum-Tum giggled.
"I was eating when he came flying out of nowhere and landed on me."
"What were you eating? A sandwich?"
"Tum-Tum," I said impatiently to silence him. "I'm Rocky. And I'm also still very sorry."
She raised her eyebrows. "Rocky? I've heard of a boxer named Rocky, but never a ninja."
I smiled at her. She didn't seem too angry anymore. "It's my ninja name. And that's Colt, and Tum-Tum."
"Dude! I wish my name were Tum-Tum!" She grinned and gave him a high-five. "All the power to ya!"
"He eats a lot," Colt explained. "I mean, constantly.
"I can strongly relate," the girl sighed. "I'm Kate."
"Good to know," Tum-Tum said. "Hey, since you like food, wanna come over and help me eat ours?"
"Guah!" she squeaked excitedly. "Yes! Yes I do!"
Grandpa was already back at the cabin when we returned. "Hello, boys."
"Hi Grandpa," we called.
"Is it lunch yet?" Tum-Tum asked.
"It's nine-thirty, Tum-Tum," I reminded him, although my stomach was growling with hunger too.
"I already had breakfast though."
Grandpa, who was scrambling eggs for us, looked back and noticed Kate with us. "Boys, I didn't know you were inviting someone over. Mori Tonaka." He shook her hand.
"Kate Russell." She smiled at him, her blue eyes genuinely kind and gentle. "What charming grandsons you have."
"What did they do?" he demanded, glaring at us.
"Rocky ambushed her," Colt told him helpfully. I elbowed him sharply in the ribs. "But it was only because he thought it was you. He was trying to kill you."
"I was not!" I cried. "Shut up, Colt!"
"Rocky," Grandpa said sternly. "A true ninja--"
"No, please, Grandpa, no lectures right now!" I begged, blushing.
Grandpa smirked in that omnipotent way he had. He went back to the stove.
