A Shoulder To Cry On
What is love?
Seven years ago, I thought love' was something I was going to share with Cloud one day. As the years passed by, I always thought to myself that there would be the next one to tell him how I felt.
To tell him that I love' him.
But did it happen?
No...
He left. Simple as that. He just...left. I promised myself I was going to let it all out after Meteor. I had never been so nervous in my life. Every time I walked closer to him, I wanted to take two steps back and guess what? I got my wish.
He left...
His words were, There is something else I must do. Please don't follow me...
What was that suppose to mean? He said that and ran off into the thick fogs leaving everyone behind confused at his actions.
Such a gentle utter of my name. He was not just calling out my name. He was calling out to me, trying to get a hold of me somehow. He knew I was lost, swimming in a pool of misery. He saw that I was drowning just like how I saw Cloud was. I saved him...but did he save me? No, he took off.
It was really ironic...
I pieced up his life but he shattered my heart. I saved him but he allowed me to fall.
I don't want to love' anymore. Who knew one little word could hold so many emotions...but it really comes down to either joy or pain. Unfortunately for me, I have to suffer the latter.
I silently tried to hold back my tears but they wouldn't stop falling. God, it just hurts so much. My hands traveled up his chest only to meet the soaked material of his black shirt. They were stained, stained with my tears. I relaxed a bit when he drew me closer to him. His arms never broke free of me and I didn't want it to. I truly believed I was going to literally break apart if he let go.
Even without looking up, I could feel his eyes upon me. Almost instantly, I felt a sense of security surrounding me. His beautiful raven strands would softly tickled me whenever the ocean breeze would sway by. Though it was merely nothing, I felt such an electricfying shock.
I couldn't even remember how long I was standing here in his embrace. It could have been minutes but it felt like eternity. I think I can even memorize every goose bumps on his arms and recognize his sweet intoxicating aroma from anywhere.
If you were to tell me seven years ago that I would be in the arms of another man other than Cloud, I would have just laughed. Laughed at the crazy idea that there was someone else out there than can win my heart.
No one's laughing now...
I can't even manage a smile.
For the first time tonight, I finally said something.
How do you heal an internal wound?
Time...can I forget about Cloud over time? More importantly, can I love someone again?
No! Snap out of it Lockheart! You just said you didn't want to love anymore...not when it comes with such a devastating price to pay.
Vincent? Did you ever stop loving Lucrecia?......I think over thirty years have been long enough, don't you? But......she will always be in my heart.I know...it's hard to forget those who we have once loved.Tifa...I know how you feel. Trust me...I've been through the exact hell you're going through and I'm not going to allow you to make the same mistake as me.
I didn't want to love' anymore, I really didn't but it isn't something I get to decide whether I want or not.
And when he placed his lips upon mine, I realized that love just happens.
