For anyone familiar with the Theodore Tugboat series and who has an

overactive imagination, a sense of humour and no life! ;-)

Seriously though, it does riff of one of the episodes which had the

all-too-familiar 'don't-go-off-with-strangers' theme. We never did see what

became of the stranger after the character he was trying to lure away was

intercepted by a friend while en route to a place where Mr. Baddie wanted

them to meet, but the sleaze never showed up again... anyone wonder why? The

tune from "Threes" just started running through my head at that time...

Kudos, BTW, to anyone who can identify the other two characters in the song

by name and thus admit to the world that they are comepletely hooked on

shows aimed at 3-5 year-olds.

DISCLAIMER: Classic Media now owns this series. Weesa be makin' no money offa dis!

THREES - THE BIG HARBOUR VERSION ;-)

TTO: Threes (Original version), heartfelt apologies to Mercedes Lackey and

Leslie Fish

Deep within a stony cove, miles from the settled shore,

A hoary freighter's waiting and he's hungry to the core,

His appetite extends beyond the scope of mortal fuels,

He feeds upon the vital force of unsuspecting fools!

Three things see no end - the cycle of the changing tides,

the storyteller's cunning and the menace that he hides.

One among the tugboats he has singled out to lure,

And as he waits he scans the scene but he's no longer sure,

He swears that he'd had the laddie eating from his hand,

But his intended prey is not in sight of sea or land!

Of three things be wary - those excuses too well told,

bleak, secluded places and a vampire's inner cold!

From nothing, two familiar figures fast materialize

A pleasure yacht and submarine with daggers in their eyes,

They drop their mundane guises to the predator's surprise,

Where each stood is a trireme cloaked in ancient godly pride!

Three things know a secret - freighters with no goods to haul,

a submarine nocturnal and a cruiser who sees all!

They said to him "The one you want will never make it here,

Hank's fortunate for loyal friends who knew to steer him clear,

And now your time is over, for your kind we'll not abide,

Malarkey, face the end for which there ain't no other side!"

Three things never anger, or you will not live for long -

a warship or a goddess or their sense of right and wrong!

Malarkey roars defiance, but the goddess only smiles,

Her consort holds his silence but his mien betrays his bile,

They fall upon the vampire with the maximum of force,

Water churns to angry foam as battle takes its course!

Three things never trust in - that your victim takes the bait,

everyone's face value and your strength against the great!

With a savage cry the goddess tears into her foe,

Her mate attacks the other side to deal a fatal blow,

Malarkey writhes and screams as does a swine beneath the knife,

The sacred ones triumphant as they terminate his life!

Three things trust and cherish well - the friends you care about,

the gods who watch your slumber and your natural sense of doubt!