Life Without You

Disclaimer: McG and Josh Schwartz own the O.C., I just wish I did.

Summary: Seth sails away, wondering if anyone really cared about his life. What happens when he wishes to never have been born?

A/N: Not sure if this idea has been done before, but I've always wanted to dabble in the supernatural genre. So here you go…

His only company was a few seagulls inspecting the Summer Breeze.

The sun high in the sky, beads of sweat were beginning to roll down Seth's forehead. His face was sticky with perspiration, and he was beginning to wish he'd gotten that haircut before setting sail after all.

But he'd had to get out of Newport, away from everyone and everything.

Staying just another minute would have been enough time for Ryan, Summer, or worse, his parents, to talk Seth out of leaving.

Somehow, Seth wasn't so sure they would try to stop him.

Ryan hadn't cared enough about him to stay.

Summer had given up on Seth because her father didn't like him.

And his parents sure as hell didn't care. They'd given him permission to go on this trip last summer, before Ryan came into the picture.

He was sure they wouldn't mind. Only a tiny seed of doubt planted in Seth's mind forced him to believe they would notice his absence.

Seth had been having second thoughts lately.

Should he have taken the Summer Breeze on a voyage to Tahiti?

Having no one to talk to was already shaping up to be not so great, and the prospect of 40 more isolated days was not quite welcoming.

Well…there was always God.

Jesus and Moses had spoken with God, been in touch with God. Hell, both of Seth's religions worshipped the same God.

"God, hi, it's me, Seth Cohen. What am I saying? Of course you know who I am. Anyways, I wanted to say hey, get acquainted, all that good stuff, because we're going to be having a lot of time to get to know each other. Well, at least you're going to get to know me. I like to talk, my friends call it rambling, but either way, I do it a lot."

Seth sighed, shielding his face from the sun with his hands. Sure, he'd brought sunscreen with SPF 45, but being outdoors all day and night, he wasn't very well protected from the sun.

It was almost summer, and soon it would be hotter than ever. Seth winced as he tried not to think of the 100 degree weather that was just around the corner.

It was easier to get that off his mind than the other summer.

Summer.

She was probably hooking up with random water polo players. She'd probably also forgotten about him.

No one probably even cared that he'd left. Without him, things would return to normal. They'd forget he had ever existed, and slowly Seth Cohen would fade into the oblivion that he was doomed to.

"God, it's me again. Seth Cohen. Uh…I feel like the whole world is against me. My brother left, my girlfriend hates me, and my own parents haven't even sent the Coast Guard after me yet. Maybe things would have been better if I wasn't even born. Can you do that, God? 'Cause I think everyone's life would be better if I was never there."

Hours later…

Seth squinted at the bright light. How long had he been asleep.

A voice boomed out of nowhere.

Seth Cohen, we've been expecting you.

"Huh?" Seth scratched his head as he looked around. Where was the Summer Breeze? And more importantly, where was the ocean? Had he washed up on some deserted island? And was it bad that he was hearing voices?

Seth Cohen. You are Seth Cohen, right?

"The one and only," Seth replied nervously to the voice inside his head. This was getting a little freaky. Why was he having a conversation with himself?

A slight chuckle came out of…well, Seth wasn't quite sure where it was coming from.

Seth, your wish came through about four hours ago. Aren't you the boy who wished he was never born?

Seth racked his brain. Had he said that?

"Yeah, that's me," he agreed. Okay, whoever was playing the joke on him had better stop, or else…

Seth, do you really want to have never existed?

"I don't know," Seth responded truthfully. "I guess. At this point I don't think anyone has noticed I'm gone. So won't it be easier if I was never there to miss?"

Another chuckle. Seth didn't think it was that funny; in fact, he didn't find it funny at all.

You're going to find out, Seth. Very, very soon.

Seth blinked, and when he opened his eyes there was another living soul in front of him.

Except it appeared to be glowing.

And the human, wait, was it just a body? It was wearing wings on its back.

Of course, it was sheathed in a white gown/sheet thing.

"Ryan? Summer? Come on, this isn't funny. Who are you?" he pointed to the thing encased in white. Maybe this was all a bad dream… If it was, Seth wanted nothing more than to wake up.

"I'm your guardian angel, Seth," the white thing spoke. So it was a human.

"Hilarious, really," Seth forced a laugh, "But come on, who are you?"

"I'm your guardian angel," it responded.

Seth decided to play along, whether it was a dream or someone playing a joke on him. "Okay, Mr. Guardian Angel. What's my brother's name?"

"You don't have a brother. Ryan Atwood is your adopted brother, though."

Anyone could've known that, Seth deduced. Especially if it was his overly active imagination or one of his friends or acquaintances from Newport.

"Okay…" Seth tried to think of a harder question, one not just anybody would be able to answer. "Where was I born?"

"California," came the answer.

That was too vague for Seth. He decided to ask the being—at this point he wasn't sure what it was—where in California he was born. But before he could put flip the words off his tongue, the being answered.

"Berkeley. You moved to Newport Beach when you were three."

Wait. What? How? Who?

Seth folded his arms defiantly, trying not to show his fear and awe.

"Don't be scared, Seth," the being was approaching him now. When it touched him, Seth felt a familiar shiver pulsate through his body.

"I'm not," he insisted, in a true Summer fashion. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Come with me," his guardian angel said. "I've got something to show you."

Seth hung his head and followed the guardian angel—if the being was his guardian angel—not sure where he was going, and what he was going to see.

The angel led Seth to a small door. It really was small; Seth couldn't even duck his head to fit through it.

"Uh…" Seth started, "I can't get through there."

The angel smiled, a sad, tired smile. "Seth, you've got to believe."

Seth sighed. "Okay," he exhaled slowly. "I believe I can fit through that ridiculously tiny door."

Sure enough, when Seth ducked his head and thrust it through the door, he didn't hit the wall. Instead, he was now in a room with white stairs and clouds floating all around.

"Who decorates this place?" Seth asked, half joking, half curious.

"God." The angel began to descend the steps. Once his head was shrouded in clouds, he said, "Seth, follow me, okay?"

As Seth peered over the side of the staircase, all he saw was swirling white fluff. A sight, which, to say the least, was not exactly comforting to him. A huge lump of alarm rose in Seth's throat. "You'll catch me, right?"

"Of course, Seth. I'm your guardian angel," the angel laughed, a sweet, melodic laugh. Seth wondered, was his angel a man or a woman? He hadn't really been able to tell, and wasn't sure whether or not it made a difference. But all the same, Seth wanted to know.

Seth climbed down the stairs, willing himself not to look down.

After what seemed like an eternity he felt his feet touch down on the ground.

"You okay?" his angel asked, seeing Seth gasp and wheeze.

"Yeah…I-I'm fine, just give me a second," Seth panted, trying to catch his breath.

The angel assumed Seth was finished, and began to speak. "Now I have to explain the rules to you."

"Rules? What kind of rules? Like, curfew rules?"

The angel shook its head forlornly. "Seth, you're about to find out what life would be like if you were never born."

"Still not following you. Not really," Seth admitted. This wasn't mildly amusing anymore. It wasn't even a bad dream. It was actually happening. He'd never been born. Wow.

"The rules are as follows. You can look, but do not touch. If you touch someone, they will feel your presence, even though they cannot see you. Do not do this. Are we clear, Seth? Don't leave anything, and I mean anything. For example, if you were to leave your shoe behind, it would become visible a few hours after you left. So don't leave anything. I think that's about it. Wait, sign here," the angel produced a clipboard from out of nowhere and handed Seth a pen. Without reading the paper, Seth scribbled his signature on it.

"Are you ready?" the angel asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be, " Seth braced himself. "What are we doing again?"

"You'll see," the angel told him, and began to walk away.

Seth followed after his angel. They went through another, larger door, and ended up in the alleyway of what looked like the slums of New York.

"Where are we?" Seth asked, beginning to get nervous again.

"In good time, Seth, in good time," the angel said, reminding Seth to be patient.

They emerged from the alleyway just in time to see the cops breaking up a fight.

Run, Ryan, run.

Get out of here, you bastards.

Don't let us catch you again!

"Chino," Seth said weakly, as if someone had just punched his stomach—hard.

The guardian angel took Seth's hand. "Come on. You have to do this, Seth. It's what you wanted."