Warning: Yaoi, language, sexual scenes, hilarity

These were not written by me! I found this thing called a "drabble generator", where you plug in words and stuff and it'll make a drabble for you, and some of these simply had to be shared. Again, I take no credit whatsoever for these.

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A Bed In Time

On a mellow and boring morning, Grimmjow sat on a raccoon. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His tongue ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Ulquiorra to love someone with a beautiful kidney?

Excitedly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a powerful sexy hakama, all on a summer's day. I wish my Ulquiorra would fuck me, in his own graceful way..."

"Do you?" Ulquiorra sat down beside Grimmjow and put his hand on Grimmjow's lip. "I think that could be arranged."

Grimmjow gasped gayly. "But what about my beautiful kidney?"

"I like it," Ulquiorra said huskily. "I think it's flaming."

They came together and their kiss was like how an animal would ravish its lover.

"I love you," Grimmjow said gladly.

"I love you too," Ulquiorra replied and fucked him.

They bought a panda, moved in together, and lived lustily ever after.

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The Adventure Of The Panda

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were out for an attentive Valentine's walk on a raccoon. As they went, Ulquiorra rested his hand on Grimmjow's tongue. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so sexy, Grimmjow was filled with flaming dread.

"Do you suppose it's beautiful here?" he asked gladly.

"You powerful silly," Ulquiorra said, tickling Grimmjow with his bed. "It's completely graceful."

Just then, a boring panda leapt out from behind a hakama and fucked Ulquiorra in the lip. "Aaargh!" Ulquiorra screamed.

Things looked mellow. But Grimmjow, although he was dramatic, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a hollow hole and, like how an animal would ravish its lover, beat the panda huskily until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."

Then he clasped Ulquiorra close. Ulquiorra was bleeding excitedly. "My darling," Grimmjow said, and pressed his lips to Ulquiorra's kidney.

"I love you," Ulquiorra said gayly, and expired in Grimmjow's arms.

Grimmjow never loved again.

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I Saw Ulquiorra Kissing Santa Claus

Grimmjow woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one beautiful box that looked like a bed.

Then Grimmjow noticed that Ulquiorra was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Grimmjow thought that he would surprise Ulquiorra. Maybe even sneak up behind him and fuck him on his boring lip. That always made Ulquiorra dramatic.

Grimmjow crept lustily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its flaming lights, and the presents, heaped up excitedly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Ulquiorra. Kissing someone.

Grimmjow was so angry, he picked up a hakama from a table and threw it gladly on a raccoon.

They both looked around.

"Ulquiorra, you mellow panda!" Grimmjow yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Grimmjow looked and then rubbed his kidney and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Ulquiorra said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a sexy kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Grimmjow said huskily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be powerful."

That seemed reasonable. Grimmjow went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like how an animal would ravish its lover. He made Grimmjow's tongue feel all attentive.

"You see?" Ulquiorra said gayly and Grimmjow saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

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Sexy Lang Syne

Grimmjow sipped excitedly at his drink and stood sexy behind a hakama. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel beautiful and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how dramatic his kidney got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Grimmjow knew very well why he was at the party: to see Ulquiorra.

Ah, Ulquiorra. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his boring tongue made Grimmjow's heart beat like how an animal would ravish its lover.

But tonight everyone was masked. Grimmjow peered gayly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Ulquiorra. There, he thought, the man over by the bed, the powerful one with the panda mask. It had to be Ulquiorra. No one else could look so graceful, even in a panda mask.

He began to walk Grimmjow's way and Grimmjow started to panic. What if he actually talked to Grimmjow?

Ulquiorra came right up to Grimmjow and Grimmjow thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Ulquiorra said gladly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the hollow hole," Grimmjow said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded soflaming.

Just then, a mellow voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Grimmjow's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Ulquiorra might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Ulquiorra swept Grimmjow into his arms, bent him on a raccoon, and kissed Grimmjow huskily, slipping him the tongue and groping his lip.

Grimmjow could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out lustily and pulled Ulquiorra's mask off his face. It was Ulquiorra! "I knew it was you," Grimmjow said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Ulquiorra said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Grimmjow watched him go. He would be right back, Grimmjow was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

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Well, this didn't really have a purpose, but I hope you were slightly amused for a little bit!

Til' next time!