Disclaimer: The cover to this story was used with permission, and belongs to Joyfulldreams on Deviantart.
I know I'm extremely late on this one. But I've been busy with a lot of things.
"I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you...And you...And you...Gotta give em hope."
-Harvey Milk
She's staring at the stars again.
She realizes this and turns her head away, knowing that subconsciously, she'll find herself staring at them again.
Because it's really the same thing she's been doing every night for the past week. And she knows that if she keeps walking out onto the balcony every damn night for whatever reason, she'll keep doing it.
She knows it's stupid, but for some reason, watching the stars, with their twinkles making them look like diamonds in a display case on dark blue velvet, gives her a sense of comfort.
Because as childish as others may call it- she herself finds it silly she's even thinking these thoughts- but she looks out for one, for the possibility that maybe…just maybe…one of them may be him.
How she knows which star, she has no idea. And she knows it's a completely illogical thought; stars representing the lives of those long gone? Child's play. They were just giant, blazing balls of gas, slowly burning until they ran out of fuel and either grew to red giants or went completely supernova. It was the same thing with the thought of heaven, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus: There was no such thing. People just did. The same way people just died. That was it. No afterlife paradise, no judging of punishment, nothing. It was simply like a TV turning off- you just ceased to exist.
(Jade was the one to tell her that philosophy. And to give herself a little credit, Jade told her a lot of things that proved she was full of shit.)
Artemis sighed as she lifted her coffee mug to her mouth, sipping as she takes one last look at them. Just the sight of them amazes her: The fact that there's billions and billions of them out there in the wide, vast cosmos of space with thousands, if not millions of civilizations just like Earth out there, and yet they were nowhere near even a fifth of exploring it.
Wally was one to talk like that. Ever since he took that astronomy class at their university, he was totally geeking out and telling her about all these pointless facts and amazing discoveries.
She stops herself short, the memory of him alone breaking her already shattered heart just a little more. Unwilling to the let the newest set of tears fall out, she turns away, hurrying back to the tiny house, closing the sliding glass door behind her and drawing the shades. She's not two steps away before the dog comes bounding through the house, wagging his tail at her and looking up at her with those adorable round eyes than never fail to make her heart melt.
To be perfectly honest, she's pretty grateful when she thinks back to their chat of getting a pet. With her beloved gone, it's pretty nice to have another form of life to come home to at the end of the day and be with her, knowing that he's not coming back.
Yes, she has her friends, but her friends can't be there every day to make the house more alive when she's home from school or work. And it's nice that when she wants to be alone, she's really not alone since the dog's there.
It was almost like the dog had ESP. Artemis saw her vision go blurry, and despite her best efforts, she's crying again. To control herself and keep herself from having a full-fledged meltdown, she rushes over to the couch, plopping down on it and burying her head in her hands. For a moment, she feels extra heat on her leg, and doesn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the pitbull's neck, burying her face in his soft fur.
It's become a bit of a ritual for them. She thinks he understands that Wally's not coming back, and seems to also know he's really the only pillar when she comes back to the deafening silence at the end of the day. It makes her wonder if that's why Connor and Wolf are so close.
But still, it would even better if He were to appear, with his freckled face and his nice green eyes and his cocky, smartass smile to scoop her up and hug and kiss her and just to tell her everything's all right.
The fantasy's hard on her when she thinks of just Wally. To admit that it won't happen makes her burst into a whole new batch of tears.
She gets lucky once when Dick gives her the night off. She's supposed to be doing nightly patrol with M'gann and Rocket, but her best guess is he sees the stress on her face and decides she could use some sleep.
Though she will admit there's a part of her that's a bit cross; she's a mourning girlfriend sure, but that doesn't make her an invalid.
And coincidentally, she finds herself on a hill. It's a nice one that's like something out of a painting, round and plush green with a nice weeping willow at the top.
But she's still staring at those goddamn stars. Artemis realized this the second she plops down on her butt, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. For a moment, she considers going home. She's still in her uniform and took her mask off, and it would be a real shame if she had to knock out some high school students were eager to get it on Lover's Lane.
But it's like some sort of entrapment. The very thought of the all those stars out there, spreading out across the galaxy and living hundreds of years, giving life and as well as taking it, is mesmerizing. It's almost like watching a car accident. (She knows that example's pretty bad alliteration, but whatever.)
All of a sudden, she's suddenly overwhelmed with a waterfall of emotion, a hand clasping over her mouth to muffle a sob. She closes her eyes, cursing at her herself and demanding she not cry, but as strong as she is, Artemis feels her self-control slipping more and more away. And worse, she doesn't even know why.
"Are you all right?"
The sudden voice creeps up on her so suddenly she jumps and has to yank back her arm to keep from hitting the poor stranger in the face with her bo staves. But that doesn't mean she's not aggressive. She keeps him at an arm's length, refusing to budge from her position.
Not that he's really giving her a reason for being so hostile. His face automatically tells her he's an alien, with snow white skin that has strange black marks going around his eyes and chin, and wearing some sort of outfit that looks like a mix between a Buddhist monk and a warrior, the whole thing in shades of cobalt blue or black, some strange looking headgear giving the shape of subtle V.
That's not what gets her on her guard. What gets her on her guard was the fact that the dude managed to get at least three feet from her without making a single peep.
"Who are you?" Artemis asks harshly, silently cussing at the cracked tone of her voice. The strange male looks surprised at first, before holding up his hands in a peaceful gesture and responding.
"I did not mean to frighten you. You looked sad, and I just wanted to see if you were okay."
She sees the symbol on his chest. It looks familiar, and when she sees the ring on his finger, something tells her he didn't come here to start a fight.
"You're some kind of….Green Lantern?" She asks. His outfit looks like a Green Lantern's…only that it's, well obviously, blue.
The strange alien offers her a smile, "I'm a member of the Blue Lantern Corps."
"There's a blue one?!"
"Yes. Don't worry, I was quite surprised too."
Christ, she thinks as she lowers her arms, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I'm all right, I'm just…a little down is all."
The blue lantern nods, rubbing the back of his neck as his voice- which seems that it's out of character for him to be so kind- asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Why should I tell you?" Artemis asks, "I don't even know you."
"You're right," he admits, and she realizes that he doesn't seem like the type to be easily embarrassed. Something tells her he doesn't have much experience in this field. Though to honest, she caves seconds later.
"I…I lost somebody," she admits. She should stop herself. Like she just stated, she doesn't even know this guy, why should she have to share her life story. He was just some alien, some random guy from a random corps she had no idea about. He could easily be working for the Light, or one of those unknown extraterrestrial terrorist groups that the League comes across every once in a while.
But her best guess is, well, it feels good. Her friends understand, sure, but it really feels nice to have someone else to talk to. Someone who may just not treat her like a child and walk around on eggshells like she might shatter at any moment- the team's been doing that for the past few days, and she'd be lying if she didn't say it was starting to piss her off.
The blue lantern seemed emotionless, his eyelids lowering as he looked at the ground. "I see. I, too, have recently lost somebody."
For some reason, Artemis feels comfortable enough to sit down, and even more comfortable to let him sit down next to her. There was something about him, something that for some reason just makes her feel okay. An uncomfortable silence passes, with her twiddling her thumbs and suddenly feeling like an idiot.
"I'm…Artemis."
"My name is Razer."
She quirks an eyebrow at him. An alien from probably hundreds and hundreds of light years away, and his name is a household shaving product?
Then again, M'gann's name isn't far off from the normalcy scale, either.
A silence passes before Razer suddenly asks from out of the blue (no pun intended), "Did you love him?"
"Wha-what?" Artemis replies, a bit taken back from his blunt question and just the surprise of some other noise finally coming up.
Razer looks her. His eyes aren't exactly sad. In fact, she can't really tell what he's feelings. His eyes, she realizes, are lacking of any pupils, and something tells her he's normally somebody who prefers to keep it that way.
She thinks about snapping at him. Telling him it's none of his business and why the hell is he asking in the first place? But she reconsiders. Before she can even think clearly, the words are pouring out of her mouth. "He was my soulmate," she replies, and is a bit irritated when she realizes her voice is cracking, "We were supposed to be together! We were supposed to be together forever! This is why we gave up the hero life! Because fate steps in and fucks with you, and now…he's….he's gone."
She knows she sounds like a six-year-old, but Wally was her everything. Her first real date, her first kiss, her first love, everything. The full reality that he just disappeared into thin air hits her hard like a punch in the stomach, and she glances out of the corner of her eye to see Razer looking at her- was that empathy in his expression, or pity?
And then something, something within her snaps. She's tried to be strong for the team and for Wally's family, but right now, that dam she built could burn up in the fiery pits of hell for all she cares. She buries her face in her hands and stops caring that her sobs are loud and like that of a toddler's. That she's coughing and she can literally feel her face swelling with the wetness of her tears. She's just so tired of the loneliness and the fragility her teammates are handling her at and just the goddamn fact that he's gone.
She feels herself pulled to the side, and seconds later she finds herself within the embrace of a blue clad chest, strong arms wrapping around her. She stiffens slightly, but the warmth from Razer's hug only adds to it.
She can't describe the feeling. But Razer doesn't say anything. So she just grabs her tunic and buries her face in it, and for what seems like forever, she just lets herself cry, spilling her heart out of how much she misses Wally and how she feels empty without him and has never felt like this before.
And the whole time, Razer just listens to her.
When she's calmed down enough, she just curls up and looks down. It's a bit comforting that Razer doesn't say anything, and doesn't back away either. She feels like a six-year-old child, just confused and unsure of what exactly she should do.
She knows that logically, she really shouldn't even be speaking to Razer so comfortably. She only met him about ten minutes ago, and he's come from whatever planet in a universe that's how-many-miles away from Earth. But there's just something about him…something that makes her feel like he's really a helping hand.
"Artemis," he speaks suddenly again, "Do you really think he is dead?"
Artemis shoots him a look like an angry bull, "What kind of question is that? His body evaporated out of thin air!"
"Yes, but do you believe he is dead?" Razer asks again, "His physical body may be gone yes, but do you truly believe he is dead?"
Once again, Artemis is ready to snap at him. But he raises a good point.
Wally once explained to her a speedster's abilities came from the Speed Force. Should one ever break the Speed Force was fatal, as they could go so fast they could literally shake their molecules apart.
And Jaime explained what the Scarab said. It just said he will cease. It never said cease to exist. No, it just said 'cease.'
Though she tried to scold herself to not hop on fruitless theories, Artemis knew she'd be just in denial if there wasn't a little part of her that thought it was a sign.
"I…I don't know. How can he keep on living without a body-"
"I, too, had thought the same thing once. That was one of the worst mistakes I ever made," Razer explained, glancing down at the sapphire blue power ring that rested on his middle finger.
"I won't make that same mistake. I refuse to believe that she is dead, and I shall travel the galaxy for however long it takes until I find her."
He looked up at the sky, holding his ring hand close to his heart and giving a genuine smile to the heavens. Artemis tilted her head, quirking an eyebrow.
"It's a big galaxy, you know."
Razer smiles down at her, "Yes, and had I been the same way back when I was a red lantern, I would have easily given up. But I have learned many things over time, Artemis. The large possibility of failure and disappointment is not a reason not to try."
He looked down at her again, motioning to his ring, "We cannot rely on just hope itself. But it is the one factor that gives us a reason to even keep on living."
Before Artemis could reply, he stood up, brushing off his tunic before turning to her, a light blue aura starting to gather around him. "I must be going now."
"Wait!" Artemis cries out right as he lifts off, stretching her hand out. He turns to her, patiently waiting her reply. Artemis looks up at him, tear-filled eyes deceiving to the smile on her face.
"Thanks…Razer."
He nods to her, "I wish you the best of luck, Artemis. Do remember what I said."
And without another word, he shoots up at the speed of light, a blur of blue light that was quickly gone from the atmosphere. For a few seconds, Artemis just stood, watching the pale blue speck of light that she was pretty sure was him, though it was hard to tell with it just as quickly fading from view. As she stares, she ponders his words yet again.
"The scarab said the stray energy would cause him to cease," Jaime explained as mournful team gathered around at headquarters.
"Cease to what?" Beast Boy had asked curiously. The others looked at the blue clad comrade, who shrugged his shoulders regretfully.
"I...I don't know. It just said he'd cease."
Cease to what, indeed. Artemis folded her arms as she stood up, watching the stars a bit longer. Young, burning blue stars, gargantuan red giants, old dimming white dwarves. So many objects. So many possibilities. So many if's, and's, and or's.
There was another feeling in her heart. One that was not the usual cold feeling she felt whenever she thought of Wally. This one was strong and warm, feeling like a giant bloom of a firework in her chest, a wild theory exploding into her veins that made it race and lit up her face like the lights on a Christmas tree.
That feeling was hope. She could feel it covering her like a nice warm blanket, putting back and mending the broken pieces of what remained of her heart. The scarab had simply said 'cease.' Nothing more.
For a third time, Artemis looked at the stars. And for the first time since that fateful day, she smiled back at them.
This one's a bit more rushed, but I was intending it to be a bit shorter. Regarding both shows, does anyone else think it's ironic how Wally and Razer are voiced by the same person? Or how Wally and Aya 'die' the EXACT same way?
