Bunny-Blade

Ok, so...guess what! I've fallen completely and totally in love with someone I can't EVER be with. We will always be too different and he hates me anyways.

So...it's been awhile since I've talked to you. I miss telling you things. I mostly just miss being your best friend. I really would like it if you would talk to me. I miss you so much and I'm like, tearing apart here without you. It's like I'm trying to work on a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing.

I really wish I was there with you, or you were here. Whichever works. Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if you had come with me. Like, if you had hopped on that plane and sat right next to me. I would probably be happier and less lonely.

You probably don't miss me, do you? No, you probably just moved on and met some hot blond girl that could make you so much happier than I ever could.

What I really miss about you is your smile. You had such an amazing smile.

I sometimes think about the day we met and how happy I was. I really felt as if I had met my other half. Without you, I'm not whole. Do you remember that day? January 15...you were wearing faded blue jeans and a deep blue t-shirt. I remember because I stole your jacket that you wore that day. I wear it sometimes, because it still smells like you.

I think I should wash it...but I just can't think about what it might smell like without you wearing it again. Would you do that? Come here and wear it again after I wash it? I would love that thank you.

Anyways

Sometimes, I look at the pictures I took of my friends and I hate myself for not getting any of you. I really wish I had though.

I miss your smiling face. Sometimes, if I think really hard about you, I can kinda you in my head. The rest of the time, I can't really remember what you look like.

My sisters tell me I need to move on, I don't think I ever will move on from you. I really do love you. And I think I always will.

You will always be my favorite person.

Sometimes, when I lay awake at night, I think about the day I ran straight into you in the hallway and you just smiled at me. I can still remember how my heart was all happy for the rest of the day. I miss that feeling.

I talk to Harry sometimes...he tells me how your doing great and how you're such a totally awesome guy that everyone loves. I always tell him that no one can ever love you as much as I do.

I wonder if you remember me. I wonder if you lay awake at night thinking about me. It's things like that...that make me feel sick to my stomach because I miss you so much.

I've been torn in half...I miss having you around to talk to. I really wish you would talk to me...

I really truly miss you. But I know you don't miss me. I'm too much of a memory.

I guess I've finally come to realize that I'm not ever going back...and that you don't really miss me.

It's almost as if I had never really been there and I had never met you. I wish I could re-live it once more...fix all the mistakes I made.

Would you smile and pose for a picture if I asked you to? I think you would have just to make someone laugh or smile.

I hope someday, later on in life, I will get to see you again...but for right now...I think it's time for me to move on.

...

Buttercup-Butch

You act as though what we had never happened and we can be friends. Can't you see? I can't be 'friends' with someone who left me an empty shell of a person.

I really wish with all my heart that I could turn back to clock and make things right. Maybe...I could go back to the 15th of February and never make that phone call and never say those things.

Maybe...then I could be in your arms right now instead of getting a cramp in my hand from writing so much. It helps, I guess. To write things down...just to kinda get it all out.

Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't have followed you outside and took your hand. Or if you hadn't kissed me.

Maybe, I wouldn't miss you so much.

When I think about when you kissed me, my hand always moves up to trace where your lips met mine.

I love that feeling. Just like I love the feeling of your hands around my waist, or your arm across my shoulder. I want that feeling again. I want to talk to you again.

I don't think I could ever be your 'friend' again though.

I really do miss you. I will never stop missing you. I...I don't think I can move on...I tried, I really did try.

It's hard. He just doesn't smell like you or act like you or talk like you or look like you or tell jokes like you...he's not you. He's not the idiot I fell in love with over and over again every time I saw.

I wish, with my whole being, that you would just realize how much I truly do love you.

He doesn't have your perfect smile or your forest-green eyes or your love for sports.

When I look at him, I don't get that same butterfly feeling that I would get when I looked at you.

You made me feel like I meant something.

I hope she loves you like I do. I hope she makes you happy the way you would make me happy. I hope she kisses you as much as you want her to. I hope she gets that butterfly feeling every time she looks at you. I hope you thinks about you all the time. I hope you make her happy when she's sad or upset. And I hope...that one day...you and her have a life that makes you happy.

I'm the past, and she will be the future.

I love you and I hope she does too.