PLEASE READ PLEASE PLEASE READ

Hello first of all yes I am Jigokuwa. The writer who vanished from Ouran for a very long time hehheh T_T

I am the same person who wrote a lot of Hikarux Kaoru story titled:

I am Going to Save You Kaoru

Do We Have to Work Together?

Innocent Kaoru's First Blowjob

Do You Want me to Remember?

Destined Death

Hikaru's Wonderland

and there was one more but I forgot haha

So... I am so so so so so sorry but all those stories are now forever gone and I really did not mean to delete them at all!

I wanted to move all my Ouran stories out from my Jigokuwa Account to this new account for personal reasons.

But during the process, something happened to my computer and all the Ouran stories were basically deleted. I was really upset with all my two year worth of work and thankful reviews/encouragement notes that I received on those stories, I kind of lost motivation in writing Ouran fanfic for a while.

Anyways, I came up with two new stories, this one and the other one and my writing style might have slightly changed but I am hoping that you guys will still like my story plots hehheh.

Here it is and I hope you guys like it!

And yes this is Hikaru x Kaoru story!


Freshman year

"Hey Kaoru! I finally managed to hook up with Haruhi! How awesome is that? I guess Haruhi and Tono were never meant to last long sorry to say."

Karou remembered seeing his twin and also older brother so happy when Haruhi accepted his offer of becoming his girlfriend. The news was shocking… well extremely shocking to Kaoru but he was the one who tried to push Hikaru out of their own world so he tried to not regret helping Hikaru during their freshman year to win Haruhi's heart.

Sophomore year

"You know Kaoru, I that I have…well… girlfriend and all… Don't you think it makes more sense if I spend more time with her?" Hikaru said as he looked through his wallet for late night movie tickets.

"I'm not saying don't go on a date with her," Kaoru tried not to let his anger get the better of him, "What I'm saying is that we promised to do something together on Friday night weeks ago and you just had to make a date with Haruhi on that particular day."

"Hey, she wanted to watch this movie for a long time and I just want to show her a good time." Hikaru furrowed his eye brows more, indicating that he too was reaching his limit as well.

"Well, you don't have to go on an opening day of the movie," Kaoru reasoned, "Why can't you guys go tomorrow or something? I'm sure she'll understand if you say that you already made a plan with your brother and-"

"Kaoru, you can't be serious," Hikaru sighed and shook his head back and forth which made Kaoru slightly open his mouth in surprise.

"What do you mean I can't be serious?" Kaoru unfolded his crossed arms.

"Look, don't take it the wrong way but don't you think it would be a lame excuse if I tell Haruhi that I have to cancel a date with her just because I have to hang out with my brother… don't you think?" Hikaru scratched his hair as he tried to avoid feeling the awkwardness with his brother, "I mean come on, we can hang out all the time but Haruhi is supposed to be my main priority."

That is when Kaoru felt something very… very odd.

How can those few sentences that Hikaru said so easily and yet simply have such an impact?

'M-Maybe… Hikaru is right. I am being too…. selfish?' Kaoru it his lips a little as he thought to himself.

"Uh… Kaoru? Are you there?" Hikaru blinked a couple of times and he checked his cellphone's watch, not wanting for Haruhi to be at the movie theater before he did.

"Your right, Hikaru. I'm sorry if I made a big deal with this," Kaoru forced out some chuckle, "You should really go before Haruhi starts getting made you again."

"That's my little brother," Hikaru sighed in relief, "I'll make it up to you, I promise to whatever is up there. Okay? Ah don't wait for me and just go to bed when you get tired!"

Hikaru slammed the door and left Kaoru alone in their shared apartment.

"Yeah…. See you later," Kaoru whispered before turning his back to the cold living room and turned on the television to get his mind distracted from… whatever he was feeling.

Junior Year

"What?! You're moving out from our apartment?!" Kaoru shouted but his twin brother seemed to have some kind invisible ear plus covering everything.

Hikaru continued to have that stoic and a hint of annoyance look on his face as he placed all his clothes, college books, personal items and other accessories into large boxes. When he was about to put some folded clothes into the suite case, Kaoru stepped in and took the folded clothes away from Hikaru's hand.

"Hikaru! At least act like you're listening to me," Kaoru frowned.

"What do you want me to say then?" Hikaru rolled his eyes away from his brother and kept mouth closed.

"Maybe care to explain why you suddenly decide to move?" Kaoru asked politely since yelling and getting extremely angry was not really part of his personality but Hikaru has almost crossed the line.

"Uh… maybe because my girlfriend asked me to?" Hikaru gave an irritated look before reaching out his hand and asked, "Can I have my clothes back now?"

"Why didn't you tell me before you decided to do this? Don't I deserved to know?"

"Kaoru, I knew that if I told you this before then you wouldn't let me move in with her," said Hikaru. He then reached out to the closet and pulled out some of more clothing. When he took out some clothes that he shared with Kaoru, he decided to put those back in.

"….W-Well…." Kaoru didn't know how to respond to that because what Hikaru said was the truth.

"I know that when we were in Ouran high school we were acting really close and having fun with brotherly love act and all but now that we're juniors in college… we should try to explore the outside world more. Isn't that what you said to me Kaoru? Let's try not to be dependent on each other? I'm just following the advice you gave me but now…. I feel like you're the one holding me back."

"….." Kaoru thought about what his older brother said and maybe… just maybe his annoying and yet loveable twin brother was right. Maybe Hikaru was just following the advice that Kaoru gave him… following too perfectly to the point where Kaoru regretted saying that to Hikaru.

'Am I… being a hypocrite?' Kaoru looked down to his feet as he felt a huge wave of realization and sad emotion in his heart. 'I tell Hikaru to stop being dependent and he finally accepts that and when he does I'm the one who really can't accept the change. Why? Why can't I just let my brother go?'

"Cat got your tongue, Kaoru?" Hikaru tried to lighten the mood when Kaoru was silent for too long.

"I… no… sorry just thinking about… yeah."

"It's not like I'm moving away to a whole new school Kaoru. I'm just going to be few blocks down with Haruhi," Hikaru laughed a little but Kaoru couldn't join that laughter so easily.

"I know," Kaoru answered.

"Maybe if you start not being so attached to me and find yourself a girlfriend then maybe you can start to be busy with your own life and-"

"What? Just because I don't have a girlfriend you think I don't have a life or something?" Kaoru placed one of his hand on to his hips.

"I mean during these three years in college, I never saw you having one interest to any girls in our school. Not one Kaoru," Hikaru raised his voice a little. "To the point where it kind of concerns me. I don't want you do be single for rest of your life."

Kaoru was about to say, well I have you Hikaru but that would have worked if they were still in high school.

"If you're not interested in girls and it's not like you're interested in guys or anything, right?" Hikaru gave that curious look and this caused Kaoru to turn red a little.

"Don't joke around with those stuff, Hikaru."

"No I mean, sometimes when I think back to the times in Ouran when we were doing brotherly love and all, I wonder to myself… you didn't take any of those too seriously… right?"

"Of course not!" Kaoru stated but now part of him was more overwhelmed than ever. Did he take any of those seriously? Kaoru wanted to believe that he was normal like everyone else and that he has interests in girls but now that Hikaru brought out this topic, Kaoru was curious to know as well. Was he in love with his brother this whole time and never accepted the truth?

'That's crazy talk, Kaoru. There's no way in hell I'm in love with my twin. My head must be messing with me. I'm just getting confused with missing Hikaru and this whole idiotic love sick stuff.'

"Okay good," Hikaru raised his both hands in the air to signal Kaoru to calm down a little, "I just wanted to know that we're on the same page. "

"Ah no… Hikaru?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you have said if," Koaru took a deep breath and made a huge effort to try to sound as casual as possible, "if I said I liked you and things like that."

"Uh… what?" For the first time, Hikaru was a little speechless and Kaoru wanted to hit himself for asking such a stupid question.

"I mean you know just as a joke, hehheh," Kaoru faked a smile.

"Haha well I guess I wouldn't be surprised if you fell for something as good looking as me," Hikaru also bantered back.

"But Hikaru I look like you," Kaoru narrowed his eyes and returned the folded clothing back to his twin.

"And that's why I know that you can't fall for me," said Hikaru as he placed the clothes into the moving suite case, "That would be like narcissism or something like that."

"Twincest?" Kaoru suggested although he couldn't understand why he felt so down after he heard what Hikaru said.

"Hey I haven't heard that term in a while ever since we graduated from Ouran."

When Hikaru was done packing and all his boxes were loaded into the limo's trunk, Kaoru sighed deeply in stress but his older twin didn't really catch that.

"Just promise me you'll visit this apartment once in a while?" asked Kaoru when Hikaru was about to get into the limo.

"Promise me that you'll stop being too dependent on me, Kaoru," Hikaru snapped back, "Get yourself a girl too and you'll know how to prioritize your life better. No hard feelings," Hikaru chuckled and Kaoru responded with a weak smile on his lips.

"At least I won't be blinded by love like you," said Kaoru.

"Hey I'm just living life! Anyways, I'll talk to you later once I get settled at Haruhi's apartment. Okay? See you in school."

Then the limo drove off to few blocks away towards Haruhi's apartment.

Senior Year

"Ha… Hikaru you really are blinded by love."

Kaoru currently didn't have any roommates ever since Hikaru left to live together with Haruhi. Another depressing note was that Hikaru was more distant ever since he moved in with girlfriend as well. It's been a while since the twins talked to each other and it was difficult for Kaoru to see Hikaru since their majors were so different. Kaoru was majoring in Literature and minoring in Language while Hikaru had his major in pure Mathematics. Every time when Kaoru wanted to call or talk to Hikaru, the younger twin thought about what his older brother said before he left.

Stop being too dependent.

Little did Kaoru know that he wasn't being too dependent on Hikaru. In fact, he was actually in…

"Okay so here's the doctor's office," Kaoru looked at the tall white building that was few blocks away from his school campus. "I hope this doesn't take long, I hate visiting doctors."

Kaoru went inside the building and since he already made the appointment, there was no waiting line as one of the nurse dressed mostly in pink and white escorted the younger twin into the main doctor's office. The doctor was already waiting for Kaoru and signaled him to sit down on the white bed.

"Hello Mr. Hitachiin. Now, if I remember correctly you came here because of some of your symptoms of having numb feelings mainly in your hands, brief paralysis feeling during nighttime when you are about to sleep, throwing up easily when you eat and… loss of weigh. Correct?"

When Kaoru heard those exact same symptoms coming out from the doctor's mouth, he couldn't help but to feel a little nervous.

"Y-yes those are right," Kaoru swallowed hard.

"It's probably death of iron and nutrient mixed with stomach virus. I'll run some tests with you, just in case."

"Oh good, I thought it might be something serious," Kaoru sighed in relief. "How long the tests are going to take?"

"Some blood tests and maybe a couple of X-rays just to be on the safe side. Do you have your permission, ?"

"Sure, more tests the better right?" Kaoru shrugged his shoulder. He reached into his pocket and was about to call Hikaru.

'I mean, it's not something serious anyways. He doesn't have to know.'

The doctor wasn't kidding when he said there would be some couple of tests. Kaoru expected to have the examination done in less than fifteen minutes but it was almost one hour and he continued to wait for the result. After the blood sampling, there was this simple back ground check where the younger twin needed to answer questions related to his health. After the survey, the nurse made Kaoru drink some kind of light pink colored drink which was supposed to help during the X-ray process. The pink liquid by the way, tasted so awful and Kaoru was glad he didn't eat any breakfast. When the X-ray was done, there was another smaller X-rays that was done specifically to test for nerves.

"Since I don't have my second midterms until next week, I wonder what I should do," Kaoru talked to himself, "Should I hang out with Kyoya-senpai? Hmm, I wonder what Tono is doing now that he graduated from college and all."

"Mr. Hitachiin," the doctor called out and Kaoru turned around from the bed that he sat on.

"Yes?"

"After reviewing some results, I'll be just straight forward with you. You seem to have a mutated version of congenital insensitivity to pain," said the doctor as he presented some of the X-ray pictures and Kaoru's nerve diagram to his patient.

"W-what? Congenitial…. Pain… sensitive.. what was it again?"

"Congenital insensitivity to pain." The doctor noticed that Kaoru was making an effort to try to keep his cool.

"And what does that mean exactly?" Kaoru inhaled and exhaled as he felt a shiver creeping up on his back.

"To put it simply, CIP causes a person to not feel any physical pain. This could also include hunger, thirst and any other signals that your body may give you during your daily life," said the physician.

"But, but I can feel totally fine." Kaoru touched his right hand with his left hand, "I can feel this so there must be some kind of mistake."

"Please listen to me, Mr. Hitachiin. CIP is usually a disorder that a person is born with but when I see these results particularly with your nerve systems near the spine," the physician pointed at the largest X-ray that was on the screen in from of Kaoru, "Your body seemed to be developing the symptom of CIP which is why I called it mutated CIP when I first introduced it to you."

'This can't be happening…'

"Now, you're not the first on to have this mutation so you don't have to worry too much. It is just rare indeed but with proper care, we might be able to slow down the mutation growth rate."

'A mutated version of CIP? You got to be kidding me…'

"First I can prescribe you some medications and you should visit the hospital at least once a week when you start to develop symptoms." The doctor took out his white sheet of paper and started to write down some of the complex medication names.

'This is probably not something bad. Maybe the doctor is just making a big deal with this so he can tip off my money…. Right?'

"Here are the list of medications. Some of the symptoms that you should watch out for are," the doctor stopped himself when he realized that Kaoru looked a little dazed than before. "Excuse me, Mr. Hitachiin? May I continue?"

"Eh? Ah yes, of course," Kaoru nodded and allowed his physician continued.

"Now remember to come and visit me once a week and tell me any changes you had in your body. Loss of sensation, not being able to feel hunger, frequent numbness in any part of your body and other differences that you may pick up."

"Yes, thank you," Kaoru answered as he took the prescription, paid the bill and existed the hospital with a blank mind.

When the younger twin came out from the hospital, the whole world felt different. He felt the breeze through his arm but how long would that last? How much would this affect his ordinary life style? Or worse, would this be life threatening?

Kaoru continued to walk slowly back to his apartment. He thought about how Hikaru might be able to comfort him and help him look on the optimistic side. Heck, Hikaru might even joke with Kaoru about how lame it was for him to get this random mutation.

"Oh yeah, it's not like Hikaru is home waiting for me," Kaoru grumbled. "I probably shouldn't bother him with my personal problems."

Then Kaoru felt empty.

Few seconds later, his eyes felt watery.

"If Hikaru doesn't want me to be dependent on him then that's how I should act."


Next Chapter Preview

"Hey little brother, I came here to say hi and see how you're doing," Hikaru barged into Kaoru's apartment because he still kept one of the house key when they used to share the room.

"Oh hi Hikaru," said Kaoru as he continued to cut the salmon into thin slices. "Next time at least call before you start to invade my house."

"Aw is Kaoru mad that his older brother is taking away his private time?"

Kaoru felt his face flush a little and had a small hope that Hikaru might do that similar gesture when they were back in high school.

Flash back

"Hikaru! I'm trying to do my homework? Unlike you I'm not that great at math," Kaoru sighed as he closed his eyes.

"Aw is Kaoru made that his older brother is taking away his private time?" Hikaru whispered near Kaoru's ear as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around Kaoru's shoulder.

"Hikaru, please stop kidding around," Kaoru chuckled when he felt the ticking sensation around his neck because of Hikaru's breath.

"I can tell you're enjoying my company," Hikaru smiled and playfully messed around Kaoru's orange hair roughly, "Now go back to your homework and I might just let you play with me! Hehheh."

End of Flash back

"So why are you suddenly cutting salmon? You don't eat seafood that often…" Hikaru trailed off as he learned closer to the food that his twin brother was slicing.

"Kaoru stop!" Hikaru yelled as he snatched Kaoru's knife away.

"What your problem, Hikaru?!" Kaoru yelled but was surprised when Hikaru quickly grabbed his wrist and presented it in front of him.

"Baka! Your hand is sliced and you keep cutting?!" Hikaru gritted his teeth. "You didn't know?"

"...Eh?" Kaoru looked at his hand to finally realized that there were two cuts around his hand.


And yes I received some private messages in my original Jigokuwa account as well. Sorry for my late reply I was a little busy with medicine school application going on and attending my best friends '21 birthday parties haha. Anyways I will reply to those pretty soon!

Please Review~ I want to know if you guys enjoy this story so far! hehheh