Twelve years later and it still surprised her that he looked at her like that, like he had never seen anyone like her before, like she was and always would be the center of his universe. Almost as if he couldn't get enough of looking at her. Twelve years later and every time she looked at him it was like she was seeing him for the first time. She could still picture him the way she saw him the first time they met, sitting at that desk putting those ancient slides in that machine. Does anyone ever use one of those anymore? What were they called? She couldn't remember, she was sure he would know if she were to ask him. He never forgot anything he had one of the soundest and brilliant minds she had ever encountered, second only to her own of course. Where did all this come from? All this reflection and pondering? It was the combination of many things she thought, fueled by the passing of time and revisiting old haunts. A trip across America like none other, places that they had been and only they would want to visit. She once said she would follow him anywhere now on the outskirts of no where she was beginning to question her choice. She suddenly realized where they were and once she did she began to wonder why they were there, enough introspection.
"Mulder, why are we here?"
Mulder waited a beat before answering, "I thought you'd enjoy a trip down memory lane, Scully."
"Yes, buy why here? It was closed eight years ago and if I'm not mistaken it's the property of the US government, specifically the A.T.F."
Scully got out of the car and began looking around, looking at the place that still haunted his nightmares. She heard the car door close behind her, but did not turn, just continued to take the place in. As she heard his voice she turned to gage his reaction to the place.
"I just needed to see it, Scully, to see. . ." He didn't continue just looked deep into her eyes looking at the love and concern reflected back, along with a bit of confusion and a small amount of hurt. He knew she wasn't thinking of this place but of the fallout from it, the realization of who they were before, before this period in time, thinking of the proverbial "other woman" long since gone but still somehow a part of their collective past.
"Look it's been owned by the A.T.F for eight years, but they haven't done anything with it. It's almost as if we're hiding in plain sight. They would, after all, never thinking of looking for us here, Scully, trust me on this one."
Scully sighed resigned to the idea that this was the place they'd be staying for awhile at least until they situation changed, until they were forced to leave because someone figured out who they really were. "Are we really going to stay here?"
Mulder allowed himself a small smile before answering, realizing how lucky he was to have her by his side. "No I just wanted to check it out. I woke up a few days ago with a need to come here, but I can't tell you why."
"Ok, take your time looking around. I'll give you some space." She gave him a small smile before opening the car door and sitting down. As she closed the door he looked at her before he began to walk away to make sure it really was "OK". As usual she didn't give anything away when she didn't want to, enigmatic Scully was at work. You would think after twelve years he would know what she was thinking every moment but she was still able to shield herself when she simply didn't want him to know what was going on with her emotionally.
He watched her for a moment as she took out her Ipod put in her headphones and went someplace else as her music began playing. He walked away from the car looking at the remains of the buildings that were barely standing. He could see that although it was owned it did not mean that it was being taken care of. He looked until he found the remains of the barn, the barn where Vernon Ephesian led his followers to kill themselves a small scale Jamestown. It really hadn't received that much attention from the press, he was never sure if it was due to the few victims or because the victims seemed relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Well, almost all of the victims were unimportant Melissa Ephesian still haunted him in a way he couldn't really express. She was a part of his past, the memories that came up were painful but necessary to deal with if he was to continue with his present in a healthy way. He loved Scully more than he could ever begin to express but lately he felt more and more a need to reconcile his past.
Every time he went on one of these jaunts he was always surprised at her willingness to follow him. He told himself that he wasn't testing her trying to see how far he could go before she finally said "OK Mulder enough, I'm done." That's what he told himself, but he knew that at least a small part of him was doing exactly that. Trying to find out how far her loyalty and love would take her. After everything she'd been through, everything she'd sacrificed he knew she had to have a breaking point but so far she had stuck by him through everything with that infinitely patient look on her face.
As Mulder walked further onto the compound to the second hidden bunker another flood of memories hit him "It's so hard to wait" he heard Melissa say in that hypnosis session, but the memory made it seem like she was saying it to him now.
As she sat in the car listening to her music she was acutely aware of how close he was to getting to the second bunker and how it would be then that the memories came back. As she watched her husband walk around and stop she knew it was then that he was remembering. She watched for a change in posture, for some indication that he was other than "OK". The minute the tears started she would be out of the car and by his side.
Mulder knew his wife was watching him making sure he was OK making sure that he didn't need her but if he did she'd be there before he could ask. He took a deep breath before turning around to make sure his emotions were in check. As she saw her husband begin walking towards the car Scully got out and began walking towards him concern on her face and her eyes full of love for him.
"Are you OK?" She asks as she embraces him.
He kisses the top of his wife's head before answering. "I'm, well, I'm as ok as I can be."
They hold each other for a minute as the sun sets behind them.Mulder reluctantly lets go of his wife as he backs out of their embrace his hands holding hers. "C'mon I can't wait to show you the place I found."
She smiles at him as she turns around, her left hand in his right as they walk towards the car.
