I'm all alone.

Alone in the darkness.

This emptyness is almost suffocating me.

But there is nothing I can do. Nothing will ever make me feel better. I deserve this pain.

If it weren't for me she would still be here.

I'm all alone

Deep down I know that's not true. Dumbledore came everyday to begin with and tried to get me to talk to him.

But I couldn't even look at him. How could I after what I had done?

I receive messages from worried colleages and aquaintances but their words of sympathy mean nothing.

How could they ever understand my loss?

Nobody knows what she was to me. I doubt that even she was aware how deep my feelings for her are.

And now I will never be able to tell her.

I should have done it all those years ago when I was still her best friend. I told myself that I was waiting for the right moment. When I look back I see that all those moments were perfect.

I could have told her when we sat under our favorite tree savouring the last of the autumn sun.

Or when she came to me looking for support and a shoulder to cry on. She knew I would always be there for her. The loyal friend I was.

And now she's gone.

She is gone gorever.

It would be best for everyone if I just forgot about her. Everyone is waiting for me to do so, sure as they are that I will.

But noone has told me how. How can I put her out of my mind?

I say she is gone but at the same time, she's everywhere. She wakes me up in the morning singing with the birds. She wispers to me with the wind. I see her swimming in the lake and sitting in the library.

I remember the first time we met. I see her in every set of swings I walk pass, going higher and higher until she is soaring through the air.

But mostly I see her in his eyes. I know those eyes. Bright green and shining, so deep I feel like I could drown in them.

I love those eyes.

But to see them on his face. He looks so like his father.

The living proof that my love was never returned.