"A cruise?" Fox snarled with disgust. "You want me to go on a cruise?" He lounged on the couch watching the holotube, legs spread apart with a beer
"Yes! It's going to be wonderful!" said Cassie, the attractive golden retriever in her blue pantsuit. "It'll be a total blast I'm sure!"
"Fuck that, I hate cruises. Oh rocketball is on." He fell back into the cushions getting comfortable.
Cassie put her hands on her hips. "President-elect Pepper is having his inaugural celebration on a week long cruise from Corneria to Zoness and we're going, is that clear?"
"Woot." Fox twirled his finger.
"Fox he personally requested you to be there. It would be a nice way to support him. I'm his press secretary now so I have to go and I don't want to do this by myself."
"See, you want my cock. This is proof right here. You want it." He grabbed his green flight pants in the crotchal region.
"You're gross. I just want you to come on the cruise with me so-"
"To have my cock."
"No."
"Cock."
"Okay," Cassie threw up her hands in dismay. "Fine don't go. I don't want you there. You're an asshole and you'll somehow fuck things up for everyone."
The front door of the loft swung open and banged against the wall. Katt Monroe and Wolf O'Donnell entered with a copious amount of shopping bags in their hands nearly getting stuck in the door. Katt's skintight pink leather jacket was zipped down revealing much boob cleavage. Wolf's girl tight jeans made Fox cringe.
"Oh my god," Katt cried. "The Galleria was a nightmare."
"Sweety," Wolf said, pulling ridiculously massive sunglasses off his face. "You don't know how to shop properly. You gotta use claws." He scratched the air.
"Yeah, but oh my god you almost got us kicked out of Cornerian Eagle for kicking that lady in the ass."
"Bitch deserved it. She took that last jean jacket that was 50 percent off."
"Oh my god I love you."
Fox turned back to the television. "Well now that stupid hour has just begun, I better enjoy myself while I can." He flipped channels and gulped his beer.
Cassie walked past Katt and Wolf to the kitchen. "Hey guys."
"Hey Cass," Katt said. She threw four big brown shopping bags on the couch next to Fox. He shoved one away. "How's that new job? Scary?"
The retriever brushed through her curly golden hair and pulled open the fridge. "Frustrating, especially when we have events that require Fox to be there." She glared at him, then searched for something with alcohol.
"Oh my god, that inaugural cruise thingamabobdiddy?" Katt asked.
"Yeah."
Wolf threw his shopping bags at the couch too. One hit Fox in the head. "Oh my god, I heard that it's going to be one big drug fest."
"Oh my god I heard that too," Katt said.
"No!" Cassie growled. "Pepper's going into rehab before he's inaugurated next month. No drugs."
"Oh my god like that's gonna happen," Wolf said.
"Stop saying oh my god!"
"Oh my god I'm sorry." Wolf covered his mouth.
"Pepper has to stay drug free or the senate will impeach him his first day in office. So on this cruise, everyone's going to be watching. Everything has to go perfect."
"Sounds like Camp Happiness all over again." Katt snuck around Cassie, pulling out a bottle of champagne from the fridge. "Who wants mimosas?"
"Mememememe!" Wolf tattered.
Cassie cringed. "Don't ever say that name again," she said coldly. "That camp."
Fox laughed from the couch, "What? Camp Happiness?"
"That name makes me want to throw up. Stop it."
"Camp Happiness."
Katt started mixing a drink for Wolf. He rested his chin on the counter like a kid waiting for ice cream. "You know Cassie, the best strategy is to say you like the name, and that it turns you on and then he'll stop."
"Camp Happiness," Fox said sexually.
Cassie rolled her eyes. "Okay fine. Oh baby. More."
"Camp haaaaappiness," Fox said again, licking his lips.
Cassie sighed.
"This is kinky," Wolf said.
"…ppiiiness," Fox cooed.
"Back on topic."
"Haha penis."
"Looking back," Katt handed the drink to Wolf. "You have to admit that whole thing was one big hilarious blast."
Cassie scowled at Katt, "If by hilarious blast you mean me being in the hospital for two months in a body cast, then yeah, hilarious blast. I'm so laughing now."
"So this cruise dealiemabob Pepper's having," Wolf said. "What's the point of it?"
Everyone groaned.
"What!" Wolf shouted. "Sorry if I'm not from fucking Corneria and I don't understand your stupid political ways."
Cassie rubbed her forehead. "The inaugural cruise. It's a tradition every president makes when he's elected. They just go around to every planet making speeches, kissing babies, building interplanetary ties. It's like a parade before he's officially inaugurated next month."
"Drug fest," Fox said, still flipping channels.
Cassie ignored him. "I think this will be fun," she said in a new voice. "There's an optimistic tone now that we're past the election."
"Optimistic?!" Katt blanched. "The people elected Pepper knowing he was their only choice! It was either him or that commerce chancellor giraffe guy who cheated on his wife by fucking Wolf."
Wolf shrugged. "That was fun. He had a tongue like a…" He stopped, getting lost in the thought, and sipped his mimosa through a straw.
Fox gagged himself with his finger, then his whole fist.
Katt continued, "I'd hardly say the tone is optimistic. It's more so…," she searched the ceiling for an answer, "Utter dread?"
"Think what you like." Cassie said defiantly, hands on hips. "But I don't think it'll be that bad. General Pepper is an experienced and…"
She forced her way through the sentence with the same face made when trying to shit.
"…accomplished individual. He'll make a great politician."
Katt stared. "Sweetheart, you were in the hospital for two months because he fired a bazooka at you."
"Okay, first off, he didn't fire it intentionally. He dropped it and the rocket somehow launched. And second off, it wasn't the explosion that injured me, it was hitting that tree."
She shook off the conversation. "The point is he's going into rehab! Why do people brush that off when I say that?"
"Oh I know I know I know," Wolf clapped. "Because it's bullshit?"
Cassie ignored him. "Fox get packed, we're leaving tomorrow."
"No fuck you."
"Can we come?" Katt asked delicately.
"What?!" Cassie swiveled around. "Why?"
"Well," Katt glanced at her watch. "I don't have anything planned the next few days. Neither does Wolf and I mean we don't have anything to do and I don't go anywhere without Wolf now and..."
"I'm like an accessory." Wolf grinned teethily.
"… and well. It'd just be something to do."
Cassie sighed and decided she'd appreciate the female company to offset Fox's macho antics, even if it was Katt and her incredible amount of slut power and boob cleavage. Cassie couldn't help but notice how close her breasties looked like they were going to pop out. "Yeah, sure… of course you can come."
"Okay fuck this even more," Fox growled from the couch. "I'm definitely not going if that gay ass is coming with us."
Wolf flipped him off. "Love you too Fox."
"Yeah fuck you very much."
"Love you"
"Fuck you."
"Love-"
"Fuck-"
"Me."
"Guys!" Cassie shouted. "You people are like children! Just… just… fine, everyone's going, and we're not going to act like this okay? Shit, the things I put up with around here."
She stormed out of the living room looking for her planner.
"Wow," Wolf said. "Who pulled the ripcord on her tampon?" He slurped what was left of his mimosa.
Next chapter: Departing as soon as people review! Flame wars from Saburo don't count. Or maybe they do. All aboard!
