Jack's strongly Worded Letter

Summary: Jack told Rose he was intending on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about the Titanic sinking. Well here it is.

Disclaimer: James Cameron owns the Titanic Movie version and characters involving said movie. I have no rights or says in that legal stuff.

Author's note: Thought I would have a little laugh. Maybe you can too. By the way I mention the World War one in this letter and also the Statue Of Liberty. I'm a huge history buff and I totally respect the Statue Of Liberty and well I don't care much for wars though. Also I have nothing against the White Star Line. Just having a little fun.


"I don't know about you, but I intend on writing a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this. " Jack Dawson, Titanic


To: White Star Line

New York City

From: Jack Dawson

Bottom of the ocean. (A few hundred feet from where your stinking 'unsinkable ship' now lays. )

Dear White Star Line,

I write this letter for you today concerning the following date of April 15, 1912. Does that date ring any bell to you? Sure as hell does to me and a lot of other people! April 15, 1912 was the day that your unsinkable ship decided it wanted to take a plunge on the wild side by crashing into an ice berg.

You probably are thinking, hell this isn't my fault! This is the captains fault! And sure, maybe it was the captains fault. There had been some rumors floating around the ship that the captain and some of his crew had actually spent most of their time seeing how far they could spit loogies out the deck and that if they hit some one with said loogie then they scored a double twenty points but hey, probably just rumors huh?

People paid good money to see the Statue Of Liberty. Personally I don't really know why…It's just a freakishly large lady that happens to be green. I mean you can hardly see her boobs so really she's not that much of a sight. Or they immigrated there for a better life.

Hell, there not gonna have any fucking great life in the all mighty America though. Streets paved in gold? Bunch of bull. Actually a few years after you get all settled in to America you soon find out your family men are getting drafted for the war that 'ends all wars.' And someone doesn't have to have a brain to know that 'the war that ends all wars' is also a bunch of bull. Really? The war that ends all wars?! That's like telling me the Titanic is going to sink! Oh wait. . .it did.

Did you know that one thousand, five hundred people were revealed to the icy Atlantic ocean while a good number of your White Star people were rowing boats away. "Nah, forget those drowning people, my arms are getting tired already and it's a long row back."

It really hurt our feelings you know? We were all starting to get half frozen by the time the White Star even considered coming back for us and when they did, we had already given up and were dead.

And when they finally came threw they crashed into our bodies with that damn wooden boat we wished was here ten minuets ago. Real respectful for the dead, aren't ya?

Anyways my point of this letter is. . . I would like a refund for my ticket on board the RMS Titanic. I already bet all my money away when Fabrizio and I were playing poker. So just send me a letter back with a quick apology and a good sum of cash. All you have to do is throw it in the ocean, I'll get it from there. Don't think of backing out just because I didn't really even pay for that ticket on board. I just gave you a list of reason of how you screwed my life. So drop that letter with my money in the ocean by Friday at noon or else!

Oh and also can you contact a Rose Dawson and tell her Jack Dawson was hallucinating when he told her she should honor him by staying alive and dieing warm in a bed. I'm getting a little lonesome with Fabrizio always sucking faces with Helga so it would kind of be nice if Rose came down to the underwater Titanic too.

Eat shit White Star,

Jack Dawson

Reviews are better than letters from Jack Dawson! Leave one!