DISCLAIMER:: I don't own these characters. :(
"Well," EVA sighed, "Leading a double life is a lot more daunting that it looks. I'm just going to take a nap for a couple of hours…" The female spy paused, leaving a slight lilt at the end of this statement as if it were a question. Naked Snake, for all of his extensive combat and field training, had no idea what she meant by it.
"Okay, I'll keep watch." Naked fed another log into their campfire. This secluded area behind the waterfall seemed to work perfectly for concealment from the enemy.
Snake's ears perked up: was that an irritated sigh escaping from EVA's side of the flames? The spy was as baffling as she was attractive; Snake would have assumed that EVA would be relieved to catch a few hours of rest not under the watchful eyes of their enemy.
EVA decided to call it a day and lie down, quickly rolling over to prevent herself from viewing her current source of sexual frustration. She found herself quickly giving in to sleep's succulent temptations. Snake quietly tended to the fire, enjoying a nice view of EVA's enigmatic hindquarters.
Ocelot chanced another quick glance around the cave wall. What fools! He gave himself a mental pat on the back. I've known about this place for months! How can anyone think this is a good hiding spot? The first thing that I did when I joined Spetsnaz was search out hidden waterfall caves, and they thought I was wasting my time! BAH!
"Oh yes," Ocelot whispered, "Bah indeed." He didn't even bother bringing along lackeys to confound the situation; this would be a one-on-one battle of wits and stealth. Sweaty and vivacious, clothes torn to shreds, eyes practically glazed over with the passion of battle; they would fight man-on-man to see who the better soldier was.
Even better; the two-timing spy bitch was asleep. This was the perfect chance. He just had to lure Snake into this corner of the cave without waking the she-harpy. He had witnessed said she-harpy hurling her ample cleavage and other such assets into Snake's face; it was as if she knew staying awake and keeping the other man close to her would prevent Ocelot from carrying out his plans. Against all odds Naked Snake had resisted, leaving her to sleep cold and alone on the other side of the cave.
"Good man," Ocelot muttered, "Good man." He ran a hand along the cold, reassuring metal of his revolver. He had quite the plan for luring Snake away from the camp flames.
"Rrrrrrooowwww!" Ocelot cupped one hand around his mouth, trying to muffle the noise enough that it prevented EVA's return to consciousness.
"Huh?" Snake turned in the general direction of Ocelot's presence.
"Rrrrrrooowww!"
"Hrm." The stealth spy looked at the campfire. Whatever animal was making this strange noise, chances were it would look pretty good roasting over open flames. He rarely had a golden opportunity like this one to sit down and enjoy his meals fully cooked.
Ocelot stood around the corner, gun aimed and ready. He heard footsteps fast approaching. This whole thing was working a lot better than he had suspected. Did Snake reallythink that it was an actual animal making this noise-
Snake turned the corner, instantly finding himself face-to face with an ever-familiar revolver.
"Damn," He muttered. Snake instantly had a flashback from when he had first met Ocelot and heard him calling his men with a similar mewling noise. He instantly went for his tranq gun.
"No you don't!" Ocelot smirked. "I've got you now. We're going to have a no-guns battle to see who the real master of combat is!" Ocelot's eyes skimmed over Snake's finely-muscled stomach and arms. Naked was currently bereft of any upper-body clothing, save for the straps supporting his survival supplies and ammo.
Snake frowned, obviously confused. Then it dawned on him: Snake had spent years developing CQC with The Boss; if Ocelot wanted a real fight his only chance was to stick with some sort of long-distance weaponry. This threw quite a monkey wrench into his plans. A gun fight would lack the traditional…excitement of a hands-on battle.
The Major paused, allowing for more confusion on Snake's part. So far Ocelot had challenged the other man to a duel and followed up by spending a disconcerting amount of time pilfering mental imagery of Snake's bare upper midriff. It was eerily similar to the way that the stealth agent found himself more-than-occasionally staring at EVA's barely-clad assets. Still not quite grasping this situation mentally, Snake took the other man's hesitation as an opportunity to put him in a formidable chokehold.
Ocelot suddenly found himself in Naked Snake's arms, head pressed against the other man's firm chest and a knife hovering inches from his throat. He could smell Snake's scent: earth, jungle and wild animals.
"And under all that…" Ocelot whispered, "The scent of a man."
"What?"
Did I say that out loud? Ocelot thought, What did that even mean?!"
"Start talking!" Snake rumbled, "What are you doing out here? Where are your men?"
Ocelot was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate. For some reason all he could seem to focus on was the feeling of Snake's toned abs rubbing slightly against his back every time the other man spoke. The knife at his throat should have been a top priority; oddly it was one of the last things on his list at the moment.
"Speak!" Snake was obviously trying to keep quiet in an attempt to give EVA some well-deserved rest, but it was apparent that he was becoming increasingly irritated with Ocelot's silence.
"I… didn't bring any….other soldiers…"
"What? Why?" He sounded genuinely curious.
"Uhmmm…well…" His concentration was shot at this point; he had a hideous urge to bite the arm that Snake had firmly planted under his chin. What the hell was going on with him?!
He was suddenly released from Snake's grip, almost tumbling over from the sudden return to unassisted standing. After floundering through a few seconds of bafflement he quickly deduced the reason behind Snake's actions.
Ocelot had an erection.
To be continued soon! ;D
