The Dr. Phyllis Show Episode 4Special Guest/s: Bella

(audience applauses. Scene zooms in on a tall, obviously nervous individual with blond hair pinned back, wearing a business suit that looks like it should be covering an ugly couch. This individual is our own Dr. Phyllis, and she's wearing a helmet. Hmm... You figure that one out)

Dr. P: Alright and we are back to the Dr. Phyllis Show, where your favorite heroes and sometimes even villains come and talk about their feelings and problems. Last week we ventured into the deep, depressing tale of the Bauldelaires. Sadly, they ran before we got a full interview. Hopefully, this week will be better. We have fixed the lights, cleaned the carpets from two weeks ago, and this week, I'm prepared for anything they throw at me.

(all windows are shut with blinds over them. No sunlight is coming into the building, only man-made lighting)

Dr. P: Let's welcome our next guest. Ladies and gents, please welcome Bella Cullen.

(BC enters stage and takes a seat opposite Dr. P)

Dr. P: Yes, welcome to the show.

B: Thanks for having me, I guess.

Dr. P: Now, I'm familiar with the hit book series 'Twilight' which I heard you wrote yourself under a false name. Very interesting. Did all of that really happen? Are there really vampires in Oregon?

(BC eyes have a slight yellow tint)

BC: (stares intently at Dr. P)

Dr. P: (fidgets) Um, you may answer the question at anytime.

BC: (shakes head) Sorry. What was that?
Dr. P: Are there really vampires in Oregon?

BC: Why would you want to know?
Dr. P: The whole world wants to know.

BC: I'm not telling you.

Dr. P: Well, alright. ... Let's welcome our next guest, shall we?

BC: Next guest?

Dr. P: Why yes, dear. There's rarely ever just one guest per episode.

(Edward Cullen enters stage. Bella looks, gasps.)

BC: You never told me he was coming too!

Dr. P: I expected that he told you.

EC: I'm right here.

BC: Hi Edward.

EC: Hello Bella. (EC also has yellow eyes.)

(EC takes seat next to BC)

Dr. P: Alright, now down to the question I really wanted to ask you. Edward, are you a mermaid?

(EC looks weirded out)

EC: Um, no.

Dr. P: Just wanted to clear that up. I saw the Twilight movie on Youtube, and wasn't sure.... Oh, never mind.

(-- note to readers: Check out the Twilight spoof on Youtube if you didn't get that joke. 'Movies in Minutes: Twilight' by nigahiga--)

BC: What a stupid question!

Dr. P: My fans wanted to know! I got a letter on it!

BC: Whatever.

Dr. P: Back to this vampire business.

(EC gives BC a look. BC shrugs)

EC: I don't know anything about vampires. Why are we even on this subject?

BC: She brought it up, not me.

Dr. P: Well, if we can't discuss vampires, then what else can we talk about?? I had this whole show planned out!

BC: high school and college?

EC: Sure.

Dr. P: Um.. what about love lives? I'm sure you two have some story on that.

BC: Nope.

EC: Not really.

Dr. P: (stunned) I can't believe it!

EC: I really think we should be going, Bella.

BC: Yes, we should. Nice talking to ya, Doc.

(BC and EC exit stage)

Dr. P: (slumps in chair) Well, you saw it here, folks at home. There obviously is some secret going on that they won't tell us! I bet they are vampires, I read the books, I would know!

(audience stirs)

Dr. P: So I guess the secret is out. Vampires in the USA. Next thing they're going be telling me is that there are werewolves too. Ha! I'll not buy it till I see it.

(audience starts to leave)

Dr. P: Well, that's it for today, folks! This was the Dr. Phyllis show, where we keep trying to dish out new material about our favorite heroes and villains. Tune in on further episodes where we debate: Vampires and Werewolves: Are they good or evil? See ya then!

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(Ok, I really need help if there are to be further episodes. I started to run out of material, there at the end! I need reviews to keep me going! Recommend a book for me to write about, I beg ya!)