One day while sweeping crumbs n' things under the carpet, Kanga came across an old Vodka bottle.
"Oh dear!" she exclaimed. "Wherever did this come from?" She picked it up and examined it further by shaking it to see if there was any left. No swishy noises were a bad sign. But just to be absolutely sure, she uncapped the bottle and held it to her parched tongue.
Although no hard, Russian liquor came out, a big, blue Arabic genie appeared in a puff of blue smoke.
Kanga immediately called the chairman of the EPA to report that the bottle should not have passed its annual inspection and that it should be towed away. While waiting for a certified EPA official to arrive, she made small talk with the genie.
"Hi," said Kanga.
"I am the almighty genie of the lamp," said Genie.
"Care for crumpets?" said Kanga as she brushed out the crumbs from under the rug.
"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you any three wishes," said Genie.
Kanga brushed the crumbs onto a plate and held it out for Genie. "I can also get you some milk."
"The only catch is I can't raise people from the dead or kill anyone," said Genie.
Kanga poked around in her pouch, but to her dismay, she could not find any milk. "Oh dear. I wish I had some milk to serve you."
Genie granted her first wish. A cow appeared in a puff of smoke, but choked on the fumes and died. Its corpse consequently released a tankload of methane into the already polluted air. The earth's total temperature increased tenfold and where there was once water there was now desert; where there was once desert there was water; and where there was once dignity there was facebook.
The phone rang and Kanga hopped to answer it while still prodding around for a milk bottle. "I wish I knew who was calling at this hour," she said, and Genie granted her wish. She picked up the phone to find it was a wrong number.
"You have one wish remaining," said Genie.
"I wish I could find that bottle of milk to serve you," said Kanga.
And so the bottle was found and Genie returned to his Vodka bottle.
Kanga held the bottle out to the empty air. "Care for crumpets and some milk?" she asked. But as she did so, she realized something very important: the bottle felt too light. So she opened it for inspection, and out rolled a puff of red smoke.
"I have been released from my prison and will now smite you all," said Jafar.
"Oh dear… I wish Roo would hurry up and find all his Pooh sticks so he can hurry home and help me entertain all these guests," said Kanga.
"I will grant your wish and then smite you," said Jafar, and he so did grant the wish.
Roo bounced into the house and snatched the Pooh stick binding Jafar's immortal soul to the physical realm, consequently rubbing Jafar out of existence. He then returned the Pooh stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The end.
