Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Twilight. Its characters and ideas are those of Stephenie Meyer.
BPOV
Fucking Forks. Those two words can essentially define my existence. I've lived in this same tiny town since my birth, and throughout the years I've come to resent it. Hate it even. Alright, in all honesty, I fucking despise this simpleton town, but I'm bound to it like a sinner to hell. There's only one thing that keeps me from bolting any chance I get. That thing happens to have a shot gun, a ridiculous mustache, and is the sheriff. Yeah, that thing, it's my dad Charlie. The man doesn't say a lot, but when he does it actually means something. He's the only thing in this world I love and I know loves me back. I've been his girl since my bitch of a mother left before I was even crawling. Now since I've never known her, I really don't care all too much that she wasn't around, but I fucking hate her for breaking Charlie. I still see him subconsciously run his thumb along his empty ring finger, and since Renee there has never been another woman. Charlie loved her, she was his it. And she just fucking left. She didn't love him, he wasn't special to her, he was just a blimp in her little flighty airhead sense of direction. Well fuck her. I fucking hate Forks, but I'm not about to leave Charlie in the dust just for a change of scenery.
I suppose Charlie and I got along good because we're kind of the same person. Quiet, but not in a shy way, more like I'm not going to waste my time or thoughts or words with anyone way. This has kind of plagued me with a perpetual lack of social functioning, and this year would be no exception. Junior year at Forks High School would be the same as the dreadfully dull previous year. Today is my last day of freedom before I'm forced to go and attend that hell hole every day and be subjected to the inane chatter of every single person in that school. I literally cannot comprehend how they never notice how they never really say anything when they're talking to each other. It's just this endless cycle of waiting for the other person to talk, all the while acting as if what they were saying were beyond anything you've ever heard before.
I've never blended in well at school. People who don't really know me, which is about everyone, think I'm just this reserved girl. I'm the girl that no one notices is gone when I'm out sick for a week. I'm the girl that gets the best grades but never makes an effort in class. I'm the girl sitting by herself in the cafeteria with a book in her hand instead of a friend next to her. I'm just the not too memorable Isabella Swan. But I'm not fucking timid and I'm certainly not fucking shy. I actively choose not to be part of this small-time vapid high school bull shit and I'm very content with that. I didn't need to break out of my shell and I wasn't waiting to get some teen movie makeover that transforms me into that special quiet girl that's suddenly hot. I wasn't looking for anyone to understand me. I understood me. And I know me. And I can't wait until I can finally get out of this town and explore anything…everything. Until then, it seems I'll just be alone, and honestly, I prefer it that way.
My thoughts began to drift off as continued organizing my vinyl collection. This was a perfect way to make the most of my last Sunday before the school year. Trailing my fingers over the worn edges of my favorite Tom Waits album, I felt as if nothing could touch me. That's the amazing thing about music, it creates this entire world for maybe four minutes. This perfect new incredible world that envelops you and is so fucking intimate. It's this bubble that nothing can break, because it's just you and the music. I put the record on my turn table and carefully dropped the needle as sound filled my room. The record player had been Charlie's, and it was probably the most thoughtful gift I'd ever gotten. That and my old truck.
I walked towards my window and leaned against it gazing out into the too green world of Forks. It was wet. I hadn't heard any rain, but then again Forks seemed to be perpetually wet. Charlie was down at the station and wouldn't be home until dinner time, so I had to make the most of my alone time. I grabbed my blanket from my bed and walked over the rocking chair that had been in my room since I was born and snuggled up to just relax and read Wuthering Heights. Its pages were worn and its binding was nearly falling apart, but it was beautiful. I was completely engrossed in my own little perfect Sunday afternoon world when I heard a loud knock on the front door downstairs. I nearly growled at being interrupted. Throwing the blanket down in a huff I trudged down the stairs only to hear the motherfucker knock again. Asshole.
"Jesus Christ dude calm the fuck down I'm coming," I mumbled to myself. I walked to the door almost seething in anger and I make no attempt to compose myself into what may be presentable or polite before I yanked the door roughly open. I stood there with one arm still out holding the door open, my face warm from annoyance, to come face to face with a puzzled looking teenage guy. His hand was still raised in mid air, apparently ready to knock again if he had needed to, and his mouth formed a small oh of surprise.
I raised one of my eyebrows and nodded towards his still raised hand, silently questioning him. He quickly dropped his arm down to his side, but not a second later was it raised again as he let out an embarrassed huff and dragged his fingers through his already untidy hair. It was brown. No, maybe reddish. Burgundy? Auburn? What the hell do you call that color? My analysis of hair color was ended abruptly when I realized he was talking.
"Um, hi. Sorry about the excessive knocking but I could hear your music and I didn't know if you'd be able to hear me, which clearly you did, so anyways…" he paused for a moment and I caught his eyes take in my appearance from the wisps of my messy bun to the tips of my toes before he closed his eyes for a moment and regained a little composure.
"I'm Edward Cullen, and it appears that we're now neighbors. My family just finished moving in today, and I've been delegated the task of making nice with our new neighbors. Kind of a backwards 'Welcome to the Neighborhood' type thing."
Neighbor? I hadn't even noticed someone was moving in next door, am I really that unobservant? His voice was like velvet, oh so soft yet oh so dark. So full of possibility. I could think of some things that would sound amazing dripping off of that tongue…Yikes where the fuck did that thought come from? I had to shake my head a bit before responding.
"Well Edward Cullen, welcome to the neighborhood. I feel like I should have a muffin basket to give you as a symbol of neighborly solidarity, but it appears I'm fresh out," I replied in my typical sarcastic tone. "Now I'd invite you in for a cup of tea and finger sandwiches, but you interrupted my bubble of peace that I'm fucking dying to get back to."
"Yeah, I could kind of tell," Edward mumbled as looked down to the faded black Smiths t-shirt I was wearing and holey sweatpants. For some reason, having him look at me like that made me irrationally pissed off, and I was reminded that he was infringing upon my last day of freedom that I had no plans to share or have taken away from.
"Right, so tell the Mr. and Mrs. hey from Chief Swan and me. and for future reference, one knock is usually enough for the non hearing impaired," I scowled as I made a move to shut the door, however, I was stopped by Edward's hand as he held the door open. I quirked up my eyebrow again, feeling more restless and irritable than before.
"Tom Waits?" I scrunched my eyebrows together as I tried to make sense of the two words when I finally realized he really had heard my music. And he actually knew who it was. I was…fucking impressed. But me, being the socially inept being that I am, chose to question him instead of make normal conversation like oh you know him too? Blah blah blah
"Last night I dreamed that I was dreaming of you," I quoted as I narrowed my eyes at him. This was a test, and honestly I didn't think he would finish the line even if he did recognize the song that was still playing softly in my room. But he didn't falter at all. In fact, Edward Cullen's lips twitched and his eyes became playful with mischief. He slowly lowered his hand from the front door and tilted his head at me. with eyes locked on mine he finished the line perfectly.
"And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress." He paused for a moment before raking his fingers through his hair once again. A smile playing at his lips while he continued. "Wearing your sunset of purple tightly woven around your hair. That rose in strangled ebony curls."
"Huh," it was the only noise I could make as I stood there leaning against the front door. Edward Cullen perplexed me, and what was worse was that his voice saying those lyrics had enraptured me. But Bella Swan does not fucking get enraptured by any guy who knocks on her font door. Especially by ones who ruin her perfectly planned Sundays. Edward Cullen was certainly intriguing, but that thought alone was dangerous.
So I stood there looking at him for a moment probably longer than appropriate, but he looked right back at me. I could still hear the music. I knew he could hear the music. And so we listened. Me standing just inside, and him still on the porch, we continued to stand and listen. We never looked away from one another, but it wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, in that moment, I felt as if I had no choice in looking anywhere but at Edward Cullen. The song ended and we remained standing across from one another, each with our own questions in our eyes. My heart was racing and I could feel the blush filling my cheeks. Who was he? I bit down on my bottom lip as my thoughts became even more jumbled. A simple exchange in lyrics had caused me to nearly have a mental breakdown with a near stranger, so I did the only thing that made sense in my irrational logic. I shut the door in Edward Cullen's confused little face.
I turned my back and felt my loose t-shirt snag on the crusting paint of the front door as I sank down and sat on the floor. I sat there for a moment trying to calm myself the fuck down. He was just a guy. One guy. So he might have good taste in music, big deal. He's probably just like everyone else, and I'd rather not have company in my cozy bubble…I think so anyways. No, alone is good, alone is easy, alone is who I am. I continued this mantra while I walked back up to my room to turn off the record player. Fucking Tom Waits, this is his fault. I scowled at the album as I placed it back in its place in the shelves, and my eyes glanced subconsciously towards my window. Damn new neighbor boy.
I went downstairs determined to distract myself from the thoughts of Edward Cullen, but even after an hour an a half of cooking dinner, I was still replaying our encounter over and over again in my head. After about the millionth time I realized I hadn't even introduced myself like a normal human being does. People introduce themselves every day. Hi, I'm insert name here, five year olds do this, but apparently I cannot. I had this odd desire to run over to his house and bang on the door until he answered just so that I could say Hey, my name? Yeah, it's Bella it case you were wondering before, and I suck at talking to people so it escaped me to actually mention my name….yeah….that'd go well.
Even when Charlie came home, I was still in an Edward induced haze. "Hey so the new neighbors stop by today? I noticed they finally got everything moved in over there," Charlie asks through a mouthful of spaghetti.
"Uh, yeah, well, kind of," I stammered. I stabbed a meatball with a little more force than necessary before I continued. "The son, Edward Cullen, he stopped by to say, um, welcome to the neighborhood I guess."
"Huh, well I met Dr. Cullen up at the hospital earlier today. I guess that's where he'll be working. Nice man. Good doctor. Forks is lucky to have him," Charlie gave a definitive nod at his last remark before returning his attention back to his plate.
"That's…nice. So put away any big bads today?" I asked just like I did every night since I was little. I'd ask him that every day and he always gave me the same answer.
"Always Bells, someone's gotta keep you safe." It wasn't poetry or anything profound, but it was inexplicably Charlie. Him just saying it made me feel safe. It was nice.
After dinner I made my way back upstairs to take a quick shower and after enjoying the lovely feeling of the warm water washing over me, I walked into my room with one hand clutching my towel closed and the other running a towel through my wet hair. I closed my door and hummed a bit as I continued to dry my hair. Before I even processed what I had done I found myself back at my window gazing over at my new mystery neighbor's house. My window directly faced a window from one of the upstairs rooms, and I couldn't help but wonder if that window might be Edward's. Shaking my now nearly dry hair out and running my fingers through it a few times, I leaned against the windowsill silently willing for the room across from mine to show any sign of life. I'd settle for a flicker of a light. A small shadow. Anything.
A few more minutes passed without anything happening and I was still leaning against the frame of the windowsill staring across the lawn. Jesus, when did I become such a fucking peeping tom? What was wrong with me? My brow furrowed as I broke my one-sided staring match with the window across the way. Just as I went to move away from the window, I saw light flood the room. I narrowed my eyes trying to make out any shadows of movement, but saw nothing. Damn shades! Who the fuck invented shades anyway? Oh yeah, probably a normal person who happened to catch their freak of a neighbor trying to sneak a peek at them at I don't know, about 11 o'clock at night. Now this might make a normal person to walk away from said window, but not me.
Then all of a sudden a few very crucial things happened at once. A slight shadow crossed in front of the lighted shade, said shade flew up, and I hit the deck. I dropped to the floor as fast as I could praying that whoever opened the shade hadn't seen me. I clutched my towel closer to my chest and slowly got onto my knees. I carefully reached my fingers over the bottom edge of the windowsill and cautiously poked my head up to get a look.
My eyes widened as I saw the one and only Edward Cullen with his arms leaning against his own window. He slowly raised one of his hands and gave a little wave as a small questioning and crooked smile crossed his face. My eyes grew impossibly wider and I did the most logical thing I could think of. I dropped back down to my floor and out of sight. Stupid stupid stupid. What the hell am I doing? It's not like he doesn't know I'm just sitting here right now. There's no way I can get back up without him seeing me, and now he knows I was just staring into his room like a regular pervert. Great, this is an ideal situation…
Okay, this is fine, I can fix this. I can totally get up with my dignity in tact, a little bruised maybe, but in tact nonetheless. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, made sure I had a firm grip on my towel and finally stood up. Edward Cullen was still there, still leaning against his windowsill, and for the first time I realized how handsome he was. His face was straight out of one of my favorite classic novels, where the men were tragically handsome. That's what Edward Cullen was. Tragically handsome.
With my cheeks burning with heat, I raised my hand and gave a little wave of my own. At my motion Edward's face lit up in the most genuine smile I'd ever seen. He held up his index finger signaling me to wait a second as he rushed out of sight. He was back before I had a chance to yank my shade down and pressed a piece of paper to the window. Squinting my eyes against the darkness, I carefully read. There in black sharpie and written in elegant script was this:
I watched you as you disappeared
God, why had I chosen that particular song to listen to today, this song seemed to be fated for Edward and I. I felt a smile form on my lips as I nodded, showing him that I understood his words perfectly. His own smile lifted a little more at this and he took a small step back from the window, silently shaking his head a bit as he continued to smile at me. I smiled back until I remembered the fact that I was currently in a towel and felt a fresh blush radiate from my cheeks and spread downward. Edward noticed this and his eyes followed my blush first from my cheeks, then my neck, and then to my chest. I subconsciously clutched my towel tighter to my body and Edward's eyes snapped back to mine at the movement.
I yanked my shade closed before he had a chance to do anything else. I didn't let myself wonder, or think, or worry. I quickly grabbed some clothes and ran to the bathroom to change before stealthily creeping into to my room and into bed. I let out a frustrated yell I tried to muffle with a pillow, but apparently I hadn't muffled it successfully because a few seconds later I could hear my dad from downstairs.
"Bella? You alright?"
"Yeah, just peachy Dad. I'll be fine."
"Alright," I could tell Charlie wasn't convinced, but he chose to let it go. "Get some sleep though, you have school starting again tomorrow."
"Yeah, alright. Night."
I looked up at my dark ceiling feeling more awake than ever. Shit. Edward Cullen had the potential to ruin me. But that didn't mean I was going to let him. I don't need anyone. I just need this year to end so I can go to college and get the hell out of dodge. Edward Cullen wasn't going to change that. He's just one guy, his mere existence couldn't directly change anything about mine…right? But just as I thought this, an image of Edward's perfectly smooth lips and crooked smile flashed in my mind. Yeah, it's official, I'm fucked.
