What would you do if the one you love died right in front of you? This was a question that Sirius Black could answer. But he didn't need to say anything to get a point across. You could see it in his eyes: the sadness, the regret, the pain. Nightmares plagued him of that night. The night that she died. No more was her smile and gentle laughter. No more was her blue hair swaying slightly behind her. No more was her love to show itself to those she cared about. She was gone. She was gone from his life, their children's, Harry's, everybody's.
Sirius didn't care if he was free now. It was a hollow victory. For fifteen years, he waited to be free. For twelve years, he was in Azkaban hoping for a chance to escape. For two years, he was on the run from the Ministry, hiding and foraging for food with a hippogriff, still wanting to get out of this hell. And for one year, he was stuck in the godforsaking house of his family. Family. They weren't his family. They never had been. But he was useless to the Order and so was stuck in the house with a miserable, rude house elf named Kreacher who muttered things under his breath and snogged his father's trousers. She had been a constant in his life. She always made sure he was okay. She loved him. She loved him so much that she died for him. She died for him. That was something he could never forgive her for. By dying for him, he was given pain of heart. A broken heart.
"Sirius?" Remus questioned quietly. Sirius ignored him as he kept staring down at the ground. Remus gripped his shoulder firmly.
"Sirius, it's getting late. You need to be getting home. Your kids will be wondering where you are,"
"They'll know. They always do," came the hoarse answer. Remus gazed down at the ground as Sirius did and sighed sadly. "I know it hurts, Sirius. You're not the only one affected. But Ami wouldn't want you to-,"
"Feel like crap? Too late for that. I've felt like crap for years. Don't go telling me what Ami would think because, Moony, you aren't Ami. Ami is six feet under. She's dead like Lily and James," Sirius replied bitterly.
Remus didn't answer him, but he understood. Sirius' behavior worried him, though. He was hardly eating, hardly sleeping, he was hardly doing anything. Every night he would visit Ami's grave and just stand there to watch over it.
"How long has he been like that?" Arthur Weasley asked Remus when he arrived ten minutes later. "About two hours or so. He won't budge. He may not return home until late at night," Remus whispered.
Arthur's brows furrowed in worry. He and Molly were concerned about Sirius, too. Sirius' children found themselves staying the night at the Weasleys on a daily basis since the beginning of summer. Sunny, the oldest, never mentioned how she felt about Sirius' behavior or if she ever noticed it. She was too wound up in her own grief, playing the responsible older sister to her four little brothers.
"Why don't you come to the Burrow for tea?" Arthur suggested to the two men, "Clear your mind, maybe?"
Sirius was unresponsive once again. But he half-turned this time. His eyes were as blank and black as an abyss. He shrugged before turning all the way away from Ami's grave. The three men walked away before totally disappearing with a 'pop,' leaving a tombstone that read,
Ami Mizuno-Black
1960-1996
Beloved Wife, Mother, Friend, Teacher, and Student
So as the Phoenix burns, may she rise from the ashes anew
Well? I hope this was a good start. Please review if you would like more. Thank you!
