He can't do this.
He should be stronger than this.
God, when did he turn into such a pansy?
They've been sitting outside of the cemetery for almost half an hour now. He's not sure why he brought her along, but from the moment he heard she was in town he knew he had to reach out to her.
She was the only one who didn't treat him like an outcast, even if she wasn't here when they had the small memorial for him months ago at McKinley.
She reaches over for his hand, holding it over the center console. With a brief glance over at him, she offers him a small smile. He returns it, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"I'll go with you, if you want," she says to him.
He nods silently. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he exits out of the car. She follows suit, meeting him at the front of the car.
Before they walk through the gates, he grabs her hand.
He can do this.
He has to do this.
If not for him, then for Finn.
The snow's already been cleaned off of the grave. A new set of flowers rest beside it, most likely dropped off from Carole a few days ago. They still look fresh.
Poinsettias, he notes. He remembers those from years ago, when Quinn made him buy one to remind her of the holiday.
"I'll be right here," she says, letting his hand go as she stands back a foot, giving him space.
He reaches into his pocket then, pulling out a Christmas card.
"I'm not one for this holiday much," he begins to say. He fiddles with the card before crouching down. "Couldn't really get you a present this year. I hope a card will do."
Carefully, he places it next to the poinsettias. He blinks back the tears welling in his eyes. He promised himself––promised Finn––that he wouldn't cry anymore. The guy wouldn't have wanted that.
"I'll see you around, man," he says, touching the headstone once before getting up.
Quinn's has her hand already extended out to him. He quickly grabs it as they make their way out.
It's not how he planed to spend the holiday but it'll have to do.
