Asuka, Shinji, and the Thousand Cranes
Disclaimer:
Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Gainax Productions. Should they feel that this story in any way infringes on their ownership, I will voluntarily take it off the web.
"I hate you!"
Asuka Langley Souryu opened the door to the small apartment she shared with Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi, frowning as the hateful words she herself had spoken two days prior echoed from the living room.
"I don't care!" came the response, accompanied by a swell of music, "I still love you! And I'll go on loving you until the end of time!"
"What the hell are you watching?" Asuka asked as she came into the dwelling, "Daytime soaps or something?"
"Huh?" Shinji looked over his shoulder, briefly meeting her eyes before looking quickly away, "I wasn't really watching it," he said quietly, "just… had it on."
The redhead's frown deepened as the female lead on the television cried that she didn't REALLY hate the male lead, and begged his forgiveness. "Turn this crap off," she muttered, snatching the remote off the arm of the couch and jabbing the 'off' button with her thumb.
Shinji stared down into his lap, seemingly afraid of antagonizing the girl any further.
It had been a very awkward couple of days. Asuka had come home after a scant few hours in the hospital for observation, but she had been angry and reclusive – as if being saved by the First Child, Rei Ayanami, had been some sort of cruel joke, carried out by everyone she knew.
Misato had recommended that Shinji simply give her space, but in an apartment as small as theirs, this was easier said than done. He was constantly running into her (sometimes literally) no matter how hard he tried to avoid her. He couldn't just wander the streets of Tokyo-3, nor could he go to his friend Kensuke Aida's house, as he was out of town.
In short, he was trapped.
"Going to my room," Asuka muttered into the silence, "tired." She stepped past the couch, taking one final look at the boy, and coming to a stop. "What is that?" she asked.
Shinji blinked, looking up at her, then back down to his lap. "Oh," he replied, "it's a crane." He held the piece of folded paper up so she could get a better look, gripping it by the tail and breast and pulling slightly, making the wings flap. "See?"
"Why do you have so many of them?"
"Just something I heard," the boy shrugged uneasily, "from Sasaki, in class."
"Sadeko?" Asuka frowned, "The little girl that always sits in the corner on the other side of Wondergirl?"
"Uh huh," Shinji nodded, "that's her. She said there's an old legend that if you make a thousand cranes, the gods will grant you one wish."
"And you're gonna make them?" Asuka asked, shaking her head and turning for her room, "What an idiot."
"Well," the Third Child said quietly, looking down as she walked away, "I wasn't going to make a thousand… just a few."
When he looked up, Asuka was closing the door to her room.
He sighed and put the crane to the side, then picked up the remote and turned the TV back on, almost entirely forgetting the incident by dinnertime.
Of course, he was reminded several days later.
###
"Wake up!"
Shinji mumbled tiredly and tried to roll over from his side to his stomach, but he found that he could not, as there was a restraining hand on his shoulder – and it was shaking him.
"Wake up, you idiot!"
With a groan, the boy rolled onto his back and sat up, his eyes staying closed as he yawned, "Asu… ka? Is that you?"
"Who else would it be, dipstick??" came the angry reply, "Now wake UP!"
Rubbing his eyes, Shinji yawned again. "What time is it?"
"Two," Asuka answered, her voice conveying her frustration at his lack of cooperation, "now would you wake the hell up, or do I need to get a bucket of water?"
"Two?" Shinji echoed, finally opening his eyes and blinking in the dark of his room, "What's wrong? Is there another angel?"
This was just about the only reason he could think of that Asuka would be in his room at that hour. That, or perhaps the apartment was on fire. Had he been more awake, it might have occurred to him that she was actually TALKING to him, rather than muttering one to two syllable words and avoiding him as she had since the day she had talked to him in the living room.
"Here," Asuka said tersely.
Shinji simply stared as a small, white shape was thrust in front of his eyes. "What is that?" he asked innocently.
"ARRGGH!!!!" Asuka screamed, making him flinch, "It's a CRANE!!"
"Oh," Shinji answered, shrinking back against his wall, "sorry."
"Stupid things!" the redhead raged, crushing the misshapen crane in her fist, "Stupid, stupid things! Tell me how to make them right!"
"They're kinda hard," Shinji said tentatively, "how long have you been trying to-"
"I KNOW THEY'RE HARD!!" Asuka shrieked, her voice dangerously unstable, "I've been trying for a whole damn week!! STUPID, STUPID PIECES OF-"
"I'll show you how."
Asuka stood still for a minute, shaking and breathing in short, shallow pants. Finally, she calmed, opening her hand and letting the crumpled bit of paper fall to the floor. Without a word of thanks, she turned to his desk and picked up a piece of scratch paper, dropping it on the boy's bed.
"Can you turn on the light?" Shinji asked cautiously, hoping this simple request wouldn't touch off the volatile redhead, "it would be easier to show you that way."
Asuka frowned at him for a minute, as if trying to decide if he was toying with her somehow, then turned and stepped over to the switch on the wall, flipping it on.
"Thanks," Shinji said, squinting in the suddenly bright light of the overhead. "Now, the first thing you want to do is make a square."
"I know that," Asuka muttered, watching as the boy carefully folded the paper so that it was a square with a small bit of extra along one side. "I'm not stupid, you know!"
Shinji blushed and nodded. "I know you're not, but the one you showed me wasn't made out of a perfect square, and-"
"Oh, so you're so perfect and I'm just a moron, right??" the redhead snapped, her face flushing.
"No, no!" Shinji said quickly, reaching awkwardly over to his desk and picking up his scissors, "It's just that you have to make sure that this little extra piece of paper is all the way off. It's easier to cut it than tear it."
"Thank you, mister obvious," Asuka said sarcastically, watching him start to fold, "You start with a diagonal fold?" she asked, frowning, "Why not lengthways?"
Shinji hesitated, considering his words carefully.
It wasn't exactly the easiest time for him, either. He had been forced to sit still as Asuka's mind was violated by the angel, lacking even the ability to comfort her with words. Add to this the fact that he had heard his guardian, Misato Katsuragi, sobbing in the living room less than three weeks prior – and had felt too immature to comfort her – and it was soon clear that he was not the invincible savior Asuka was always calling him.
"It's a little easier," he said finally, "that way, when you make the long fold, the paper just kind of folds itself." He held the paper up. "See?"
"Hmmmm," Asuka hummed, watching closely until he was done folding. "I'm going to take a shower and go back to bed."
"Want this?" Shinji offered softly, holding out the crane, "You can have it if-"
"I don't need your pity," the redhead muttered, turning for the door, "goodnight."
"Goodnight," the Third Child sighed, letting his hand fall back to the bed.
He considered the crane for a moment longer, then yawned tiredly, got out of bed, and turned off the light. As he slid back under his covers, he couldn't help but smile slightly.
Even though she hadn't said thank you, Asuka still needed his help for something.
"Even if it's something small," he thought as he closed his eyes, "it's nice to be needed."
###
Another week passed, during which time Asuka spent much of her free time folding paper cranes in her room.
'I'm not making a thousand,' she had told Shinji one afternoon, 'I'm just bored, that's all! You and Misato are so boring, I HAVE to find something else to do besides talk to you!'
As for Shinji, he found that his days were lackadaisical, lacking any true focus or direction. He went to school and did his work, but it was halfhearted at best, since he was always thinking about the EVAs, the angels, his roommates, his estranged father, or his injured friend, Touji Suzuhara. Indeed, it's a wonder he was able to focus on any one topic for more than a moment or two without being mentally redirected – usually in a darker direction. Coming home wasn't too much better, as Misato was always at work, on her way to work, or taking a nap.
One advantage home had over the rest of the world, however, was the cranes.
Shinji found that more and more he was savoring the time spent watching Asuka quietly folding the small birds in her room. They would come home in silence, do some homework, and make sure the house was clean. Then Shinji would cook some dinner, always making sure to cook enough for Misato in case she was hungry when she got home, and Asuka would take a shower. After this, Asuka would go to her room and fold cranes for twenty or thirty minutes, and Shinji would wander from room to room until finally coming to a stop at her open door and watching her.
Asuka didn't seem to mind his intrusion, or kept her irritation to herself if she DID mind, and would even talk to him from time to time… though mostly she stayed silent, cutting and folding with a look of intense concentration on her face.
It was this look that gave Shinji an idea.
"Where are you going?" Asuka asked as he slipped on his shoes one Friday evening after dinner, "I thought you had a paper due on Monday?"
"I'll be right back," Shinji replied, a slight note of excitement in his tone, "it'll only be a few minutes."
"Whatever," the redhead murmured, "I'll be in my room." She headed that way as the Third Child left, frowning slightly as the door opened and closed. "Figures he'd run out," she muttered angrily, "leave me all alone in this stupid place."
As she sat down and started making cranes, thoughts of the brown-haired boy's departure were pushed away in favor of attention to detail and careful folding. She was proud of how much better she had gotten, though she would never say this out loud. Why should a simple pastime like this please her?
"Not like any of this means anything," she whispered, "just making cranes." When Shinji came home ten minutes later, she looked up. "Where were you?" she asked quietly, getting to her feet and frowning as he beamed at her, his hands concealed behind him.
"Here," the boy said, bringing his hands out from behind his back, "I thought this would make it easier."
Asuka blinked as Shinji pulled a small package out of a plastic bag. "Paper?" she asked, confused.
"Origami paper," Shinji corrected, smiling happily, "they're already perfect squares, and all different colors." He handed her the bag, "I thought you might be getting tired of all that cutting – and all that white."
Asuka took the bag, considering the images, a frog, a peacock, and a crane (ironically enough) in silence. "Ummm, thanks," she said after a moment. When Shinji smiled and nodded, turning to leave, she said, "Hey, I'm gonna take a shower. When I get out, you wanna help me fold some?"
Shinji turned back to her, his face a study in confusion. "S-sure," he said, trying to hide his amazement, "that would be… ok."
"I don't NEED your help," Asuka said suddenly, "it's just too damn quiet in here."
"Ok," Shinji said softly, his face falling a bit. He forced a smile. "Besides," he said with a shrug, "I don't think I COULD help you." When she looked confused, he added, "I think the legend says you have to make them all yourself. I'll have to ask Sasaki for sure."
"I'm not doing it because of that!" Asuka scowled, "I'm just killing some time! I don't believe in stupid stuff like that."
Shinji nodded quickly, taking a step back at her vehemence. "Ok!" he said nervously, raising his hands, "I'll still come fold with you, if you want me to."
"Didn't I just say it was too quiet?" Asuka asked, her face darkening, "I said-" she cut herself off, "I'm taking a shower, come back when I'm done – or not, I don't really care."
"Alright."
When Asuka came out of the bathroom, drying her hair and frowning slightly, Shinji was sitting on the floor in her room, reading the small insert that came with the paper.
"It says cranes are only a medium skill level fold," he said, smiling up at her as she tossed the towel to the side, "I'd hate to see a hard one."
"Uh huh," Asuka murmured, taking the paper from him and looking it over, "which side should I start folding first?" she asked, turning it over, "The colored side or the white side?"
"The white side," Shinji answered, "that way the colored side doesn't get as creased."
"Ok," the redhead answered, making the first fold.
"Oh," Shinji added, snapping his fingers, "and I called Sasaki. She told me that the legend says something like, 'You must lay your hand upon each crane,' so as long as you touch each one, it should…" he trailed off, not wanting to use the word 'work.'
It was just a legend after all.
Asuka's thoughts were running along the same lines. "Eh," she shrugged, "whatever."
Of course, for the remainder of the time they spent folding that afternoon, Asuka made sure she touched every crane Shinji made.
Just to be sure.
###
One week after buying the paper, Shinji sat with Asuka in her room, idly folding cranes. They had done quite a few, but even more were stuffed in the garbage. 'The wings have to work,' Sasaki had told Shinji several days before, 'otherwise they can't fly to the gods and tell them of your wish.'
Asuka wasn't happy about this, but since she was 'just doing this for fun,' she had not complained very loudly.
They didn't speak very much when they were folding, and they never rushed when making them. Neither of them really had any place to be, and there was an unspoken accord between them to make every crane as perfect as possible.
Just to be sure.
"You still don't wonder why we fight?" Shinji asked during an especially quiet minute, glancing at Asuka out of the corner of his eye, "I mean, yeah, we fight to defend ourselves, but don't you ever wonder what the angels want?"
Asuka paused in her folding, staring off into space. "Yeah," she admitted quietly, shrugging slightly as she resumed, "I do kinda wonder about it sometimes – especially since that time we crawled through those air ducts – but no one's telling us, so why worry about it?" She set aside the crane she was working on, turning to face the boy. "Look," she said firmly, "we can speculate all we want, but until someone says, 'hey, this is why,' we'll just be wasting our time, right?"
"Just seems kinda stupid," Shinji answered softly, setting his paper aside as well, "fighting all the time and not knowing the reason."
"My grandmother said that all war is stupid," Asuka said thoughtfully, "so the way I figure it, we do what we have to do and try and survive." She got to her feet, stretching languidly, "Now I'm going to take a shower… see ya…"
Shinji nodded frowning slightly. It had not escaped his notice that Asuka showered at least twice a day, and sometimes as much as five times – as if she simply could not get clean. And considering what had happened to her when the angel had attacked, he could hardly blame her.
Looking over the many colorful, carefully folder cranes (arranged in groups of 50 – not too keep track of how many there were of course, just because it was easier to move them that way), he could not help feeling a bit awed. Was it really only three weeks ago that she had told him she hated him? Was it really only two since she had asked for his help? Blinking, he looked around, growing more and more excited.
"Asuka! Asuka, come here!"
"What is it?" came the irritated reply, "I'm just turning on the water!"
"Just… come here!" the boy answered, wetting his lips, "Hurry!"
"This better be good," Asuka muttered as she came into the room a moment later, "ok – what?"
Unable to contain himself, Shinji quickly crossed to the door, situating himself behind her and putting his hands on her shoulders. Guiding her in a slow semicircle, he whispered, "Look… look at the cranes…"
"Yeah," Asuka retorted, "they're very nice, Shinji – very papery. Now I'm going to-"
"Count them."
The redhead froze, her eyes widening as she scanned the room. A soft sigh escaped her as Shinji stepped back around to face her, grinning foolishly. "Nine hundred eighty nine," she breathed, feeling his exuberance starting to fill her, "just eleven more!"
They stood in silence for a moment, then simultaneously turned and sat on the floor, side by side, and grabbed a stack of paper each. Quickly, they began folding, the air in Asuka's room becoming charged with silent energy as the two struggled to make each fold perfect, each crease as clean as possible, until they had each completed five cranes.
"Last one," Shinji said breathlessly, setting his fifth to the side with shaking hands as Asuka picked up a square of gold paper, "this is it!"
Asuka hesitated. "You know," she said softly, running her fingers over the smooth, shiny surface, "I don't know what I'm getting all excited for, it's not like anything special is going to happen – it's just a piece of paper." Meeting his eyes, she extended her hand. "You can do it," she murmured, her voice flat and hollow, "I'm just gonna take a shower…"
Crestfallen, Shinji took the square. "Ok," he managed, staring into his lap as Asuka got to her feet and headed for the door. "Hey wait a sec."
"What is it, Shinji?" Asuka answered tiredly, "It's late, I wanna go to bed."
Shinji shrugged, turning the paper over and over in his hands. "It's nothing," he said quietly, "I was just thinking that you're right – it IS just a piece of paper." He looked up at her, offering a halfhearted smile, "But still, we did all THESE together," he gestured around the room, "we could finish together." He shrugged uncomfortably, "If you want."
The Second Child considered this for a moment, looking at the paper wasteland her room had become. "Alright," she sighed, kneeling in front of him and taking the paper, "you're a sap, you know that?" she asked, making the first fold, "'Let's do it together!!' Geez, you sound like a self-help video or something."
Shinji blushed, but kept his smile as he made the next fold. "Yeah," he said a touch sheepishly, "maybe I do, a bit."
"No maybe about it," Asuka insisted, taking the paper back, "this whole thing – all of this – was because of you and that silly little legend."
Shinji's smile became softer as he made the next crease, but he said nothing. Without another word, they continued trading the paper back and forth, until only one fold remained. By silent accord, they both lay their hands on the paper, and made it together.
The silence in the room stretched on for a full minute before Asuka let out a long sigh. "There," she said quietly, frowning at the one thousandth crane, "it's done. No magic… no spell… no wishes… no golden ray of light from the heavens – just you, me, and a bunch of paper."
Shinji nodded, feeling oddly disappointed. He had not wanted to admit it, but secretly he had been hoping for something to happen – be it magic, or divine intervention he had thought that maybe, just maybe, the legend MIGHT have a grain of truth to it. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, realizing there was nothing really he could say.
Time rolled on, marked by the slow, steady rhythm of their breathing and the unbroken chirping of the cicadas outside, and the Children remained still, lost in thoughts of legends, magic, and secret hopes that looked unfulfilled. Asuka drew in a breath to tell Shinji that she was going, but she let it out again slowly as she suddenly became more aware of her surroundings.
Nothing had really changed in her room. The cranes were still strewn about, taking up every surface, a smattering of red, blue, gold, silver, and every other color of the rainbow. Her clothes were still neatly folded and tucked into her open closet, a testament to her need for order – especially in light of all that was chaotic around her. Her clock still ticked off the minutes and hours of the day, marking down each second just as the last, never caring what the next would bring. And she was still herself – still lonely, still angry, still hating.
Wasn't she?
Looking down, Asuka noted that they both still held the crane, neither of them having released it as of yet. What she had not noticed at first, however, was that the last fold they had made had brought their fingers together, barely grazing one another at the tips. She frowned, wondering why she hadn't noticed before.
"And how many times did he touch me when we were in here, folding these?"
she thought suddenly, "And for that matter – why is he here at all? Once he showed me how, why did I keep letting him in?""What was your wish?" Shinji asked softly, startling her out of her thoughts and making her look up at his face, though he was still looking down at the crane.
"To be happy again," Asuka replied, answering truthfully and without a second thought.
"That was mine too," the boy informed her quietly, a small frown on his face as he added, "I made one, too, when I started helping you." He blushed. "Sorry."
"It's ok," the redhead whispered, still staring at the point were their fingers were brushing, "you did half of the work, you should get a wish too."
Shinji said nothing for a moment, then sighed and took a breath to remind her of her forgotten shower. Like Asuka, his breath came out in a slow rush as her forefinger slowly – deliberately – slid across his, offering him a caress lighter than that of a feather. Swallowing, he looked up into her bottomless sapphire eyes, trying to ask her what she was doing, but finding that his voice had betrayed him.
Asuka neither smiled nor frowned as Shinji's mouth silently worked. She merely continued to look into his eyes, allowing her attention to focus on the smooth feel of his skin against hers, noting the slightly coarser texture of the skin over his knuckle, and the hard feel of bone just below the surface. Every minute detail etched itself into her mind, as if this was the most important moment ever, and it was crucial that she not forget even one aspect. She considered her wish for a moment, wondering if there really was such a thing as magic or all-powerful gods that waited for moments such as these to fulfil them.
Her mind went back over the time they had spent on the project, and for the life of her, she could not recall any time past the third 'session' that she had been angry, frustrated, or irritated by the boy's presence.
And even then, when they had reached the end of the road and found nothing waiting for them, she still found that she could not feel upset. Was it magic, she wondered? Unlikely… but she could not deny that, sitting in front of Shinji, barely touching his finger and looking into his eyes, she did not feel anger, nor hate, nor loathing… nor sadness.
She remembered the old saying that silence is golden, and so she kept hers as she gently slid her finger over his, allowing her touch to speak for her, as she knew she would not be able to articulate everything that was going through her mind.
When Shinji slowly, timidly returned her smile and began moving his finger as well, she recalled another old saying: God moves in mysterious ways.
Indeed, she thought, looking down at the small, golden crane.
Indeed he does…
The End
Author's notes: Mmmm… I love a nice, happy ending. ^_^ What, you weren't looking for a kiss, were you? Oh come now, they barely admitted – to themselves – that being together makes them happy… give them some time. ^_^ On a more serious note, this story was inspired by an old book I read once about a little girl. The following web page gives moving GIF instructions for making paper cranes, as well as outlining the story of Sadeko Sasaki, the little girl Shinji mentions… a very sad story about war, hope, and the indomitably of the human spirit. And believe me, it's sadder than anything I could come up with: http://home.golden.net/~msavage/cranes.html The particulars of the legend –the wings, the touching each one – I made up myself. As far as I know, the real legend has no such restrictions, I just had to make it harder for the Children. hehe. Now, I've never tried making a thousand cranes, myself… but I do kinda sorta believe in magic, so maybe one day… maybe… I'll give it a shot ^_~
Another note: this story was conceived and started before Ryoma's contest was announced, and concluded (obviously) before the deadline of 8/31/2002. The point in mentioning this? Well, I changed it a bit as a result of it being a contest entry. I decided not to have anyone do any heavy-duty pre-reading on it, and I deliberately tried to alter my writing style so it wouldn't be recognizable as me, since the stories in the contest were supposed to be read with no pre-conceived notions about the author's skills. Or lack of them. Some parts may seem a bit rushed, and since I asked my pre-readers not to go too in-depth, I'm the only one to blame for it. I don't like working against a deadline, and it always affects my performance, so I'm gonna put some of the blame on that. ^_^ Don't know if anyone cares about all that, but there it is :P
Thanks to Ryoma for doing some pre-reading and catching some mistakes… and BlueTaboo for thinking the idea behind this story was worth pursuing. Thanks, I owe you both ^_^
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
