There were a lot of things Cora Crawley didn't know, but the one thing she knew without a doubt was that she couldn't stay there any longer.
Sometimes things don't work out. You try to make it work but eventually you have to realize that it isn't going to happen. When you make that realization, it's never pretty.
Cora had finally reached that point. She had spent months trying and failing to make them like her. Hell- who cared if they liked her, she would take them ignoring her if it meant the snide comments and the constant put downs would stop.
They were her family now and everyone told her she just had to put up with it. She had tried. She smiled at their sarcasm and ignored them when the comments were too mean to pretend not to understand. She had constantly been at their beck and call. Doing whatever they asked her to. At some point she realized she was more like a servant than a daughter-in-law.
Robert tried to be nice out of a sense of duty, but he really didn't like her and it was absolutely clear that his family always came first. She was merely a solution to a problem and now that the problem was gone he didn't know what to do with her.
He did his duty to the estate's future of course and came to her almost every night. It was always brief and slightly uncomfortable and he always left right after. The fact that they had been married for nine months and she still was not pregnant was quickly becoming one of Violet's favorite criticisms. She had lost count of the number of times she had heard Violet whispering with her friends about Cora's supposed lack of fertility.
"Sometimes I wonder if that American is even capable of carrying English children. Maybe she's just not made to handle it." The women would all laugh and list out all the much more suitable girls that Robert could have married who would of course have been with child already. Cora knew Violet said things like that to be cruel and that none of it was true, but it still hurt when she could hear them all laughing at her expense.
After she had finally come to her decision she decided to act on it as soon as possible. She snuck quietly up to the attic when she was sure that everyone was occupied and pulled down her trunk. In a pocket on the inside she found the stash of money that her father had made her keep aside for emergencies. It was enough to sustain her until she was able to get a message to her family.
She began pulling her clothing out of the wardrobe and placing them hastily into the trunk. She was facing the bed when she heard the door open. "Cora, I was-" She turned around and faced her husband who was standing in the doorway with a confused expression on his face. "What are you doing?"
She looked away from him and back down at her things. "I'm packing Robert."
"Where are you going?" She could hear him moving closer to her.
She spun around and came face to face with him. She looked directly into his eyes. "I'm leaving. I don't know where I'm going but I'm not staying here anymore." He gaped at for a moment unsure what to say finally spitting out words out.
"But you, you can't leave. We're married!"
Cora let out an unladylike snort and shook her head. "This was never a marriage Robert. It was a business deal." He made a noise as if to argue but quickly became silent as he realized that he couldn't disagree with her. He nodded at her slightly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. She took a deep breath to calm herself and went back to her packing.
As she carried her trunk down the stairs she was surprised to find Robert waiting for her at the bottom. When she reached him he looked at her with an unreadable expression and said, "I called the carriage around for you. The man will take you wherever you want." He picked up her trunk, carried it outside, deposited it in the carriage, and turned around to face her again.
They stared at each other in silence, neither knowing what to stay. Cora had planned to leave a note. She had not intended to have to say goodbye to anyone. She finally found words to say just so that she could leave. "Robert,I'm so-"
"Please don't apologize." he interrupted, "This is my fault and I'm sorry for everything. For me and for my family. I hope you will forgive us one day and I wish you the best of luck. Send me anything you need me to sign." He bowed slightly and walked back inside. Cora flinched when the large front door slammed shut.
She had the driver take her to the Grantham Arms. The proprietor looked surprised to see the young wife of Lord Downton there by herself, but he showed her to a room and left her to herself.
Cora moved her trunk to the corner of the room and sat down on the edge of the hard bed. She rocked back and forth slightly, trying to hold back her tears. She didn't know why she was so emotional. She had wanted to get away for so long and she had finally done it. She didn't know why she was starting to feel as if it was a mistake. Eventually, she gave in to her emotions cried.
AN: Apologies for the angst. This is the first of two parts and I promise the next part gets better. Also, the rating may go up so watch for that. Please review!
