Teddy Bear Syndrome

By Tione

Disclaimer: I laugh.

Warnings: This story will cause you to lose brains cells at a faster rate than is safe. Read at your own risk.

My name is Kurama and I have a Teddy Bear Syndrome.

This is the point in time you say (in monotone), "Hi, Kurama."

I know I'm odd. You really don't have to look at me like that.

No, I don't belong in a loony bin. Why?

I'm just going to ignore you. You aren't very nice. Anyway, this Teddy Bear Syndrome (here on out known as TBS) of mine just got me into a nice little predicament. And I'm going to tell you all about it so you can point and laugh and have a jolly good time over it at my expense.

You don't want to hear it?

Too bad.

* * *

"You are _not_ going to sleep on the floor," I ordered severely. "I just got carpet in and you *always* get blood on the floor when you sleep there."

"Hn."

"You will sleep on the bed."

"What about staining those white- Where are you going to sleep?"

I blinked. "On the bed. Why, is there a problem, Hiei?"

There was no reply so I set about getting ready. As soon as my pajama's were on (stylish green ones, I might add), teeth brushed, and hair pulled back into a neat ponytail (it keeps your skin from getting more grease on it while you sleep), I crawled under the covers.

"Are you going to sleep?" I asked him. He was perched on my desk chair, stoically staring at me.

"I'm going to meditate first," he replied tersely.

"Oh." I fell silent and soon after fell asleep.

[Disengage Kurama's P.O.V.    -    Activate Hiei's P.O.V.]

I have one word to describe this situation:

Oh shit.

Sleeping in the – mind you, only sleeping – in the same bed as Kurama was not desirable. Well, actually, it was but not like this… Well, kind of like this… Oh, I think you stupid humans know what I mean.

I stalled as long as I could.

Maybe I could still sleep on the floor… No, Kurama would be upset.

Accepting my fate, I trudged (and such a long trudge it was) over to my doom- I mean, the bed.

Kurama had my fluffy thing in a death grip. He was clutching it so tightly I was surprised no fluff was popping out the ends.

Hmm… I wonder what would happen if you did that to a demon?

I laid down next to him.

Silence ran rampant. I tossed. I turned.

I just couldn't sleep.

So I contemplated things like Kurama, killing Kuwabara, Kurama, Yukina, death, sweet snow, Kurama, the meaning of sugar, and Kurama.

I was just starting on imagining the twentieth bloody death of Kuwabara (this time involving one of Kurama's plants that eats people, a very dull katana, and a purple monkey) when I felt something soft hit my head.

Kurama had finally released my fluffy thing. I instantly stuffed it under my head to see if it would help my insomnia at all.

All of the sudden, an arm snaked its way around my waist. And there was only one person that arm could belong to. I stiffened immediately, about ready to bite that idiotic fox's head off when I realized he was still asleep.

I lay perfectly still in hopes that he would remove his hand sometime soon.

Almost as if he could hear my thoughts and was being rebellious, his other arm splayed itself across my chest, which resulted in a cuddling position.

Look at those sheets, Hiei! Aren't they so interesting? Look at the beautiful green color, the way they twist around Kurama's legs and how his shirt is riding up revealing the smooth skin of his stomach-

Mukuro! Think about Mukuro!

Kurama's hand around my waist moved up and settled around my neck as his legs moved to his hands previous spot.

I will not screw Kurama right this minute. I will not screw Kurama right this minute. I will not screw Kurama  right this minute. I wil-

His soft snores caressed my ear and suddenly, his foot started twitching in his sleep. Twitching against a certain spot.

*rub* *rub* *rub*

I will not sc-

I couldn't hold back a gasp.

rew Kur- 

Fuck that.

Demons act on their emotions. If they are frightened, they run away. If they are lustful, they rape. If they feel happy, they kill. It's as simple as that. And most people often forget that I am a demon as well.

Without so much as another thought, I had rolled over onto Kurama and was currently shoving my tongue down his throat.

I continued plundering his mouth even as he woke up and started to kiss me back, to sleepy to really notice anything.

After a few more moments of passion, I pulled away and gasped in air, immensely pleased with myself.

Kurama stared at me numbly for a few minutes before stuttering out, "Wh-What was tha-t?"

"Uh… um…" was my eloquent response.

Kurama spared me from having to answer further after that. He had pounced on me (though how he could go from clutching me to pinning me down so fast was beyond me) and was keeping my mouth… occupied…

"Suuichi, I know it's kinda late, but would you mind helping me with my homework? I heard voices and figured… you… were… up…" the other Suuichi trailed off.

Kurama and I jumped apart as fast as we could, both blushing brilliantly.

"Who the hell is that?" he asked, pointing at me.

Lost more than a couple brain cells, huh? Told you that you would.