This is the story originally intended to BORE Konohamaru-Sensei to death as punishment when he said we should 'Interview a Ninja who fought in one of the Great Shinobi Wars and then write it down so you can learn how easy you have it!' But I made the greatest mistake of interviewing my older sister, and it soon became apparent that it is impossible to write a boring account when including… my family, who, when written upon paper, completely take over! As is their nature.

This is an accurate and unexaggerated picture of my family, written as each person saw each other. To explain some of our odd ways however, I should explain that my Parent is an S-Rank criminal, considered a warrior-hero during the beginning course of events; and that my sister, at the start of our story, was four, she is now thirty-five with four children of her own and insists I explain that although she has always been a single parent she never placed herself in a position to become one (whatever that means…), claiming 'you never know what misinformation might get back to my kids'.

Because of this I have been forced to leave out many events and people that I would have liked to describe, but, with my Parent's help, I've managed to hint at such moments as suggestions so as not to ignite the fury of others.

In order to gather notes on decade's worth of bloodshed, malice, inhumanity and the joy of living, I have been forced to weasel, graft, travel and endanger my life by exhibiting a bratty personality, therefore it seems justified that I should include those expeditions as modern-day chapters between historical chronicles. It was only with great difficulty that I managed to save a few pages exclusively for the War.

This could never have been written without the help of (in no particular order):

Orochimaru, our Parent, who was more than happy to relate the moments my sister refused to speak of, also, his devious and malicious ways that worked their way into the history books and makes our world a little more interesting.

Kabuto Yakushi, who let me look at his old Data Cards and gave me a perspective of my family from his perspective of a close, though somewhat brainwashed, family friend, even though he was apologetic while explaining his role during the War and our family life.

He also helped me with grammar and spelling, so should you wish to throw flaming arrows at me, please, take it up with him.

My nieces and nephew, Chou-Lin, the eldest, Emiko and Eri, who are four years younger than their older sister and haven't forgiven me for not remembering which one is which despite them being fraternal twins. And Koichi, my only nephew. The four of them had much to say and without their understanding of their mother during her teen years; writing about her accurately would have been impossible! They are also prompted one another with embarrassing stories of each other's infancy and toddler-hood, for which I am grateful!

Sasuke Uchiha, our Parents prodigy. He said he was disinterested in our family life as he was busy training, focusing on revenge and making many mistakes. But it was excellent to have material from the disrespectful perspective of a stroppy, self-obsessed, entitled, pubescent teenager who only noticed the truly important situations due to his narcissism.

My older brother Log, the middle child, who is five years younger than my sister. Only making occasional appearances he was able to explain the oddity of our nieces and nephews during his visits.

I should like to pay special tribute to Yukiko, my older sister, and it is from her perspective these tales are told, even though she was too stubborn to explain most of them herself, she was able to provide me with a clear view of the Third Shinobi War from a child's perspective and its effects on the world as she travelled with our Parent.

Although she mostly refuses to speak about the past she does so because she looks at the great world beyond the horizon. Like a great Pirating Captain she continues to sail her ship of roguish crewmates through life's stormy seas, forever faced with the prospect of mutiny, unsure her helmsman skills would be approved but certain to be blamed for any complication.

That she survived is a miracle, even though I believe surviving cost her-her sanity as she has reached that peace of mind whence nought bothers, startles nor shocks her. Proven last year when I appeared in the Leaf Village, purposely struck with amnesia and unable to accurately recall myself; my true relationship with our Parent and Log, the latter I considered a villainous adversary.

Finding me sleeping on the streets in such a disillusioned state, a lesser mortal might have 'freaked out', as Boruto said, but not Yukiko. She hunted Sasuke Uchiha down, beat him up for information on Orochimaru's location, dragged me to him, forced him to retrieve Log and put my scrambled brain back together, stating: 'If you wanted him to make his own decisions and follow his own path you shouldn't put false ones in his head you scaly old manipulator!'

Which, I think, reveals just how well she knows her family. And it's because of her knowledge that I decided to remain with her.

Finally, I would like to thank all the unmentioned people who gave me the memories stored inside their heads for many years. What they had to say was absolutely true, confirmed by the gathered statements of others.

Finally, I would like to mention Master Jiraiya, who, even though he's long gone, almost everyone mentioned him and spoke in his behalf. He provides much humour, concern and more affection than I ever thought he would, and I look forward to the day I move onto the afterlife and show him everything I wrote, the Seventh Hokage says he'd like it, but he would try to promote his own work somehow, so it only seemed right that his books would make countless appearances acting as shields to hide Lord Kakashi's perverse blush, but apparently, Master Jiraiya might not appreciate this…

I think the atmosphere and transmutation of our family can be summed up in Kabuto's statement: 'Families are like tree branches, they warp as they age and even branch off, but they get stronger every year.'

Mikki