AN: I don't know why but lately I have been writing based off lyrics. This one's from RENT. Starts in Nick's point of view, and then switches to Greg's. Same way after every line of lyrics.

Warnings: slight slash (because I'm me) and SPOILERS; GRAVE DANGER, PLAY WITH FIRE.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Plexiglass, dirt, fire ant's, a pounding heart. Back again, I've been in that box every night this week, and every time it feels more real. So when I come into work on the verge of a break down, from another nightmare, I always fear losing what little dignity I've got left.

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An orange flash, burning plastic, and a raging inferno on my back. The nightmares of that night are few and far between, but they still hurt. I felt worthless, like I had messed up and everyone suffered. I don't care what Catherine said, I no longer have my dignity, just my sense of humor to help me survive.

Will I lose my dignity

As I placed the barrel of that gun to my chin I had only been thinking of the pain I was in. The cool metal made me stop before I pulled the trigger. What would they say if I'd made it this far and tookMy Own Life. I thought of the voice recorder and all the things I'd said to them. I knew I had to fight, to tell them, because if it was just my voice in a recorder, would they even bother.

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I had to re-live it, and I've never felt more vulnerable. I know now they were there for me but back then, it felt like just another crime scene. Then, I was ready to give up; because I was sure no one cared about the lowly lab rat.

Will someone care

I'm drenched in a cold sweat. Every time I wake up, I force myself not to move, fearing that if I sit up I'll hit glass and the Nevada desert will come crashing down on me. I force myself to open my eyes and look for anything familiar. I see my alarm clock, 12:00pm, means the same to me as midnight. I've made it another day.

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I can't sleep on my back, a habit I picked up all those day's in the hospital. As my eyes shoot open my hand reaches back, feeling the barely there scars. It may have happened years ago, and worse may have happened since, but in my dreams I can never tell if I'll even wake up after the darkness takes over my injured body. Sometimes the dream continues and others I wake up, the scent of burning plastic embedded in my brain. However, when the darkness in dream takes me over I always feel like I'll never wake up.

Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare

I sigh as I see the clock, no more sleep for me. I guess I could run some errands and try to forget to the best of my ability. I know I'll go to work tonight, see the people I know and love. Only to return home to my bed, and the hell within my dreams.

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I just lie there, all of my senses kicking back in. The sight of my ocean blue sheets, the scent of my detergent, the sound of the shower turning on full blast, the feel of the blanket draped over my lower half, and the taste of my lover on my lips. It's strange; we always seem to have nightmares on the same night.

From this nightmare