Patrick never fit in with the other kids his age. He didn't think like they did. His mind just wasn't able to focus on sports games or popular music. He couldn't keep his opinion to himself, and his sense of humor had a tendency to shock and horrify people with how upfront it was. None of that has changed, of course. The only difference is that now he knows how to keep his mouth shut about secrets.

Patrick met Brad their freshman year. At first he didn't make more than a blip on Patrick's radar, and that was only as a possible annoyance. He didn't pay much attention to Brad until their sophomore year. They were both at a party. Brad was drunk. He was lonely. It was the best kiss either of them had ever had. Brad didn't mention it again, but at every party Patrick would find Brad, drunk and confused, and for a wonderful few moments he could pretend that Brad loved him, and they were a normal couple who didn't have to sneak around just to see each other, but none of that was true and the only person he had ever loved had to be drunk or high just to kiss him. Eventually Brad did give up the alcohol and drugs, but that was almost worse. Then Patrick was aware of every kiss Brad gave his girlfriend, and he knew that no matter how many times he and Brad kissed or loved each other, he would never be able to kiss away all of the kisses he didn't get. Then Brad's dad found him. Patrick was forced to watch the only boy he had ever loved be beaten to a pulp. Even Brad screamed at him to leave he stayed for a few more minutes, hoping that he had heard wrong, that he was wanted and needed and he could help. Finally he left. The next day at school was the worst day of his life. Brad lied. He lied to everyone about what happened and who he said that he loved.

Then they were in the cafeteria and Brad called him that word. The word that he knew that Patrick hated above all others. He knew that every time Patrick heard that word he heard the laughing jeers of everyone he hated. As soon as that word left Brad's lips Patrick knew that they were done and he could never go back to Brad. For a few horrible moments he thought that he was going to die. He thought that he was going to be killed by one of the few people he allowed himself to love. Some people would call it poetic, but it wasn't. It was horrible, and it hurt worse than any other pain. He didn't see what Charlie did to them. He had already closed his eyes, ready to give up and accept that everything was over. He let Charlie half carry him to the office. He didn't tell his parents why it had happened. He didn't cry either. Not until that night he kissed Charlie. For some reason Charlie was the only one he could talk to about what happened. Maybe it was because he helped him. Maybe it was because he didn't look at Patrick with the same pity everybody else did. Maybe it was because he didn't push Patrick to talk about what happened. Patrick didn't know why, but he knew that he needed Charlie.