Portals, Ponies, and Pigtails

Summary: My version of Rick and Beth's past, and how it lead to the invention of the portal gun. Read and review!

Chapter 1: Bored

"Brain Grain, version 5.237. July 16th, 1988, 3:32pm, Pacific standard time. Subject: Sanchez, B., age 8, female, fair skin and b-blonde hair, 4 foot 1 inch tall, approximately 60 pounds. Subject's current status-"

SPLAT.

Rick wiped the wad of beige goop from his face while his daughter, Beth, giggled uncontrollably from behind her bowl of experimental complete nutrient paste, which was codenamed Brain Grain, engineered by Rick as an alternative to food.

"...energetic, bu-but definitely not as docile as predicted af-BURRPP-ter being fed Brain Grain exclusively f-for three days. The addition o-of vitamin B12 may lead to more focused energy in the subject."

Rick shut off his tape recorder, and sat across from Beth at the small breakfast nook in their kitchen. She smiled up at her father over the bowl of flavorless paste, instantly defusing his annoyance and frustration. He ruffled Beth's wavy blond hair playfully, then pulled out his flask from his lab coat, and took a sip as he gazed out the window. The vast sagebrush desert landscape of Eastern Washington state was flat, lifeless, and boring, which was perfect for concentrating on his science experiments and hiding Beth and himself from his crazed ex-wife, Abigail, which was all Rick wanted to do after her latest kidnapping attempt. Unfortunately, the isolation had an adverse effect on his only child's behavior, and her constant whining was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Daddy?", Beth asked as she started molding the cold Brain Grain mush into the shape of a horseshoe.

Rick snapped out of his daze, and looked down at his daughter, cocking his unibrow.

"Hmm? W-what is it, Beth?"

She poked at her mushy horseshoe with her spoon sadly, and mumbled, "I'm bored."

Rick slapped his face with his palm and grit his teeth, suppressing the sudden flare up of anger at Beth's most common complaint. He composed himself, not wanting to scream at his little girl. He took a deep breath, and looked at her through his bony fingers with his steely blue eyes.

"B-Beth, sweetheart, what have I, what did we say about boredom?"

She crossed her arms and pouted, her freckled face growing red in frustration.

"But Daddy, I said I'm BORED! I wanna...I wanna go somewhere! This desert is dumb, and this food is dumb!"

Rick stood up quickly, and leaned across the table to look his headstrong daughter in the eye, losing his temper.

"Well, if you quit acting dumb, Beth, maybe everything here won't seem as dumb! Besides, you know we ca-URRP-n't leave the trailer, Beth, everything out there right now either wants to p-p-poison you, eat you, or kidnap you, a-and Brain Grain is a w-w-work in progress, just give it a chance! Look, I know you're just a kid, Beth, and I know this must be h-har-tough for you, but I simply can't risk your mother f-finding us and hurting you again. Remember, boredom is for, is a-a thing only stupid people get, like a disease, and they just stay bored, forever! Smart people, like you and me, Beth, we use that boredom as motivation to learn, and discover new things! S-so go, Beth, go be smart, and quit pretending to be dumb, because I know you're not!"

Beth hopped down from her seat, and ran to her room, tears welling in her green eyes, and slammed the door so hard the flimsy single wide trailer shook. Rick frowned, and ran his hand through his sweaty black hair. He knew he couldn't keep his daughter locked up in their trailer for too much longer, but he wouldn't dare risk running into Abigail again. He stared down at the formica tabletop, thinking of a solution.

Rick reached into his pocket and pulled out the strange, glowing green crystal he had traded with the janitor from the nearby Hanford laboratory for a case of homemade whiskey, and idly rolled it around on the table, lost in thought. He accidentally rolled it off the edge, and, as the crystal hit the laminate floor below, a brilliant green flash blinded Rick. He blinked his eyes, and looked down into the swirling green mass on the floor below.

"Huh, well th-that's pretty weird."

Rick stared into the giant, glowing oval, and waved his dosimeter above it.

"Hmm, well it's no-not radioactive enough to kill me...", he mumbled to himself as he pocketed the dosimeter. Curious, he tossed the salt shaker from the table into the green oval, and, a second later, the portal closed, leaving only the crystal on the floor.

Rick carefully picked up the crystal and carried it to his makeshift laboratory in the living room. He pushed the half empty cans of varying versions of Brain Grain aside, and set the crystal down on his workbench, a huge smile widening across his face. He finally had some real science to do.