Hey everybody, I'm going to keep this short since this isn't really what you want to read...

I just want to say Naruto isn't mine, (damnit) he's Kishmoto's. (Yurippe, Mai, Kioshi and Eiri ARE mine...)

Naruto is in this story a girl! And this is SasuNaru, don't like, don't read...

And I want to thank my awesome beta who read and commented my story even though I was sometimes a bit stubborn :D .


Reading the letter


A long beep tone filled the silence. The 3 persons outside the room kept quiet as the sound continued. Tears fell over cheeks but not a single sob was made. The sound kept going, it seemed to be dancing around the room, daring them to make it stop and laughing when it realized it couldn't be stopped.

To the boy that was looking through the glass, trying to catch a glimpse of the person inside, it sounded like a silent scream. The last agonized words of the one he loved most, the words that were lost, the words he longed after but knew he would never hear again. They still seemed to be formed on her lips, the silent whisper only he noticed. Her final 'I love you' before she died.

Sasuke did feel the hand on his shoulder, he really heard everybody call his name. The raven haired boy just chose to ignore it. His gaze was firmly stuck to a pale face. He didn't move it down her body, he didn't look around the cold room he was sitting in, his eyes were glued to the closed ones of the woman lying on the bed.

Only 2 hours ago, he made her a promise. The memory was still fresh in his head, he was replaying it over and over and over. Her last living moment. He mentally shook that thought away. No, she wasn't dead. She would wake up in a few minutes, she would flutter those beautiful eyes open and the first thing she would see was him. Because he promised her that he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't leave without her.

In the distant he heard voices, they were talking about him. "Just let him be... a few minutes... he'll shake it off ..." He shut them out again. His hand was still gripping onto hers tightly. He didn't want to let go, not yet. He replayed the memory again, analyzing every word and sentence she said, some of them he just didn't understand. He couldn't wrap his mind around them, they had sounded like goodbye, like she had already given up.

"Yurippe," He stopped when a pale finger was put on his lips. "Sasuke, let me talk for a moment, okay?" She waited for a moment letting the boy in front of her control his surprise. "Sasuke, remember the time in the woods? That time you took me to the river and we just sat there the whole day?" He nodded with a confused look on his face. "Remember what I told you then?" He seemed to think about it for a moment before finally realizing it. "Yurippe no, I made you a promise that same day, remember? I promised you that I would never leave you, no matter what." Yurippe smiled and gave him a kiss on his cheek, effectively calming him down. "I remember, Sasuke. But you know what the odds are of me surviving this surgery." He was shaking his head, tears threatening to escape. Yurippe smiled again and took his hands in hers pulling him closer, his head falling on her chest. "Another thing Sasuke, and I need you to promise me this." When she felt him nod she wrapped her arms around him and continued. "Can you hear my heart beating?" Another nod. "It's beating for me now, to keep me alive, to let me live. But … when I'm no longer here, I want it to beat for someone else." She felt him stiffen under her arms. "Sasuke, I need you to promise me that you will do everything you can to save someone else's life with my heart."

Sasuke once again focused his eyes on Yurippe, this time he took a moment to really look at her. Long black hair was gently framing her face, heavily contrasting her pale skin. Her eyes were closed letting the dark eyelashes tickle her face and her mouth was slightly open taking soft breaths. It looked like she was sleeping but Sasuke new that she wouldn't wake up this time. Sure, she was breathing and her heart was still beating but nothing of that mattered if her brain didn't function. In fact, she wasn't breathing at all, the machines made her do it.

About an hour ago the doctor explained everything, what went wrong, the machines and the possibilities. He had given her parents a choice, keep her alive for a few other days with the hope she would wake up although that was a chance of less than 1% or organ donation. He had said her body was in perfect condition and that she would save lives if they agreed. Then he had left, 'To give you some time.' his words were.

Sasuke already knew his decision, actually, he knew the decision was already made for him. Yurippe's voice flashed through his head, 'I want it to beat for someone else.' she had decided long ago and who was he to deny her this last wish?

"I choose organ donation." A soft shuffle was heard beside him.

"Sasuke," A woman's voice. "Sweetie, what did you say?" With a soft sigh he tore away his eyes and turned around. His determination grew when he caught sight of Yurippe's parents, Eiri and Kioshi, they were standing at the end of the bed, her father's arm around her mother's waist to keep her steady. You could see she had been crying but she still held a certain grace in her pose that made it seem like she could handle everything.

For a brief moment Sasuke wondered how she did it, keeping her appearance together, her hair was disheveled, obviously not brushed over the last 24 hours, she wore the same clothes as yesterday, they were crumpled because she had slept in them, and she looked tired, tired as hell. But her eyes, they were still as strong and confident as ever. Although they were red from crying and you could see the pain and the loss in them. The same could be said for her husband.

Yurippe

"Miss and mister Kurosaki, before Yurippe di-, before she died, Yurippe told me something." He watched their eyes grow wide. "She told me that if I ever stranded in this situation, she wanted me to choose-" He stopped, like something had suddenly closed of his throat or cut of his tong making him unable to utter another word. It was if someone invisible was trying to suffocate him. He took short, quick breaths trying to say what he wanted but his vision was blurring and his head was fogging from a lack of breath. He tried again but not a single letter came out. The lump in his throat was growing and tears threatened to come back and taunt him. His tears wanted to show him how weak he was, making him realize that he couldn't save the one he loved most. They were making him comprehend what he'd lost and what he couldn't save anymore.

His breaths grew even shorter and he started to hyperventilate, he was ready to fall apart and he knew nobody would pick him up, cause she was death.

She was death.

Yurippe.

Death.

Suddenly someone took his face in their hands, calming him down, he looked up but he couldn't see it clearly who it was because of his tears blurred his vision. It was her mother. From what I saw she looked like Yurippe. Yes, she looked like her, she had the same black hair and light eyes, the same light skin color, just like an older sister she never had. "Organ donation?" she asked. Those words were enough to bring him back to his senses.

The tears went away and he studied the woman before him again. Yes, she looked like her but, not really. Yurippe's hair had been black like a raven or an onyx, her mother's hair was more a brownish black and her eyes, God her eyes. How could he ever think they were the same? Hers had been very light beige, almost like a moonstone, how long and how much had he looked in them? How many times had he just stared in them, taking in their color and the way they glowed? The eyes of her mother were beautiful too but not the same, it was like a whole other dimension. While Yurippe's eyes were like the moon her mothers were like clouds on a rainy day. Yes she looked like her but, actually not at all.

He nodded and managed a small 'yes'. Miss Kurosaki pulled him close and hugged him. "I know, I know.' She repeated it again and again and again until her husband started tugging her back to him, away from Sasuke. "I know" She muttered one last time before silencing. Kioshi, her husband, laid his hand on the small of her back. "We agree, Sasuke. We know she would have wanted that." It was like a heavy burden was suddenly lifted from his shoulders, like all this time he hadn't been walking straight. Relief flooded trough his veins and he finally let himself relax a bit. "Okay."

When Eiri and Kioshi left the room Sasuke stayed where he was. He didn't move from the same spot as her mother had hugged him. His thoughts were flooded with old memories, recent memories and the last ones. He still felt like this was just one awful nightmare, like he would wake up with his head on her chest just above her heart. So he could hear it beat, so he could feel her breath on his hair or the soft kisses she would plant upon his scalp. He would wake up, pretend like he was still asleep just to feel her touch and when she would find out he was awake she would give him a playful shove and say: 'Sasuke, you used me!' And then she would laugh, she would laugh in a way that made Sasuke smile. Her laugh was beautiful, she would close her eyes which made Sasuke smile even more. He could still feel it actually. All her kisses, her lips, her touch, her hugs…he could still feel the warmth of her body lingering on him. He missed that already.

After a while her parents came back in the room, they didn't comment at the fact he was still standing in the middle of the room or the fact that silent tears were rolling over his cheeks. They just told him the doctor would be there in a minute and to take Yurippe into surgery. Sasuke just nodded and finally moved from his spot. He walked over to Yurippe and raised his hand. He held it just above her hair, not knowing he could touch it, like he was afraid that if he would touch her he would realize this really wasn't a dream. She looked so vulnerable, if touched she may had been broken into little pieces like letting a porcelain doll fall. But in the end, he did touch her.

He stroked her hair, caressed her left cheek (because that's where he used to do it) and kissed her softly on her forehead. He stayed in that position for a while, his lips on her head. Wishing time would stop instantly so they could stay in that pose forever. Only him, her and nobody else around like they would be the only persons left on earth. Yes. That would make him happy.

He moved when the doctor came in. He walked out of the room, down the corridor, passing a few nurses he recognized but didn't acknowledge and out of the hospital. His car wasn't parked here, Kioshi had picked him up a few days ago and he hadn't left the hospital since then. So he just walked. He knew which way his house was so he just walked in that direction. He didn't notice the fact that he wasn't wearing a jacket although it was the middle of December and that it was freezing outside. He didn't notice the fact that he wasn't wearing a scarf or gloves or even a hat. He didn't notice it was cold and that it was starting to snow either. In fact he didn't notice anything at all. His mind was blank. He just walked where his legs led him. He was somewhat aware that at a sudden moment a car stopped next to him and that the person stepping out of the car tried to pull him inside the vehicle. The person succeeded easily, because Sasuke didn't really care what was happening. At the moment, nothing mattered to him.

She was gone.

It was when he started to get warm again that he registered where he was and who was with him. Itachi. How did he know where Sasuke had been. "Kioshi called me." Damn, the man was like, reading his mind. "He told me you just walked out." Sasuke didn't answer him and his brother didn't push, he was grateful for that. Itachi didn't bring him to his own apartment, when Sasuke questioned this all he got was a pointed look mixed with a flash of concern. 'Oh'. He had said when he realized it and he went back to staring out of the window. He had shared that apartment with her.

Yurippe.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't even think her name. It started to snow even harder. As if someone in heaven was crying in his place. But because it was freezing, the 'tears' transformed into snowflakes. They made him understand that now, she'll be only existing in his heart and in his memories. He wanted to just stop thinking for a moment, he needed something else to focus his attention on. "How's Mai." He surprised Itachi by asking that and his brother turned a tentative gaze towards him, as if he was making sure Sasuke wouldn't fall apart if he answered. "She's fine, great actually. She's performing this week." When Sasuke didn't answer he continued. "Will you come? Sasuke?"

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that." He did mean it, he liked to hang out with his brother and his girlfriend.

"Where is she playing?"

"In town, they hired her for a we-"He cut himself off. Sasuke looked at him. "For?" He pushed.

Itachi, looked at him for a second and shook his head. "It doesn't matter." He muttered.

"Just tell me Itachi, I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

"A wedding."

"Oh"

"Yeah"

They were quiet for the rest of the drive. The silence that ruled in the car wasn't that creepy though. But because of it, the drive seemed longer than normal.

"Sasuke" A light voice reached his ears. It was Mai. He turned his head to return her smile. A few moments ago he and Itachi had arrived at the latter's apartment. Itachi had promised he would go and pick up some of his stuff so he wouldn't have to do it. Returning to this apartment was kind of like returning home, before he met Yurippe he spent almost all his time here. It went so far he even had his own room.

'I wonder if it's still the same, it has been a while since I've been here.'

Carefully he looked around the room searching for any differences. So far nothing had really changed, just for a few small things. He noticed the light brown carpet that wasn't there before, a painting above their television and the new cushions. He loved this place. Mai and his brother had done a good job, they had chosen warm colours like brown to set the theme and stuck with it throughout the apartment. The living room wasn't really small or big but it looked warm and cosy. On one end of the room you had a large leather couch (Itachi's choice) in front of a reasonable sized television, and on the other side of the room there were a two comfy looking settee's in front of a large bookcase. The bookcase was their pride, it covered the whole wall and it was filled with books in different sizes, colours and even languages. Both of them loved to read and they even got Sasuke addicted too.

After a few moments of inspecting the room Sasuke's attention was drawn back to Mai. She had walked up to him and was lightly touching his arm. Sasuke could easily read this gesture as 'Do you want to talk?' So he returned it by taking her hand and giving it a little squeeze. 'No... But thanks.'

She gave him a little smile before returning to the kitchen.

"Sasuke, you know where your room is?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, it's still the same one, right?"

Itachi nodded. "Yes, it is. I'll go and get some of your stuff, anything in particular that you want me to bring?"

"My laptop and cable of course, clothes, toothbrush and euhm that's it, I think." Itachi nodded again and started to walk away.

"Oh, and my Ipod." He lifted his hand as a sign of acknowledgment and grabbed his keys.

"Mai, I'm going to Sasuke's apartment. Do you need something from the store?" He asked trough the door. Mai walked up to him, shaking her head. "No, I'm good."

"All right, be right back." He gave her a little peck on the lips. "Bye darling, be save."

As soon as Itachi disappeared trough the door, Mai turned to Sasuke. "Want to help me in the kitchen?"

"Sure, what are you making?" He followed her back into the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs surrounding their table. Mai gave him a knife, a chopping board and some onions. "Lasagna, you can start by cutting these." He gave a grunt and started to work and after half an hour of cooking and talking, (Well, Mai talked and Sasuke listened.) Itachi returned.

The following morning Sasuke decided he would just stay home, so he chose a book from the bookcase, 'On the road', and nestled himself in one of the settees. A few hours later Mai came in and saw him reading, not having anything to do either she took the book lying on the coffee table, 'Pride and Prejudice', and sat down in the other settee. Sasuke didn't even notice her, this was just what he needed, distraction. So when the doorbell rang and Itachi yelled, 'I'll get it!' he just continued reading like nothing had happened.

"Sasuke?" The raven turned around from where he had been reading and looked eye in eye with Kioshi. Itachi and Mai discreetly left the room so they could talk in private. After a few moments of silence, he finally regained himself and stood up from his seat. "Sir, I'm sorry-"

Kioshi shook his head. "No, Sasuke, you have nothing to be sorry about. I understand and Eiri does too. I won't be staying for long." "But-" He shook his head again when Sasuke interrupted him. "No, like I said, we understand, you need distance now." Sasuke looked at the ground, letting his bangs cover his face. "I just came to give you this." Sasuke lifted his head to see what he was holding. A letter. The confusion must have been obvious on his face because Kioshi started to explain. "It's a letter from the one who got her heart." His eyes widened. "He or she, we don't know, went in surgery last night and this morning the person in question woke up. The doctor said they were so grateful they wanted to say thank you so the patient asked him to give me this." He lifted the letter again, to make clear what he was talking about. "Eiri and I already read it so we wanted you to have it." Sasuke was still staring wide eyed at the letter, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what it said. Did he really want to read some 'thank you' letter from the one who got his lover's heart?

"I really think you should read it Sasuke. This person," He sighed and started over. "Yurippe saved this person, Sasuke. They live thanks to her and they could write this letter all thanks to her." He walked closer to Sasuke and put the letter in his hand. "Read it." When Sasuke nodded, he let go of his hand and started to walk away again. "Oh and Eiri asked me to tell you this." Sasuke looked back up. "We don't want you to become a stranger, Sasuke. Please come visit us sometimes?" When Sasuke didn't answer he just sighed. "Well, bye then." And with that he left.

Itachi and Mai immediately came back into the room. "Sasuke, are you ok?"

But Sasuke didn't hear them, he just turned around and went to his room. He lay on his bed and held the letter in his head. He still wasn't sure he wanted to know what was in it. With a sigh he closed his eyes and threw one arm over them. He was quiet for a while, trying to figure out what to do. In the end he decided to follow Kioshi's advice and he opened it.

Dear whoever you are,

Wait, wait, that doesn't really sound right, does it?

I don't know your name so..., but, let me just think for a second.

I wanted to give you one, a name, something nice because I'm pretty sure you are a nice person.

I would say Kami, but that doesn't quit fit you now would it? (Besides, I don't want you to think I'm laughing with you.) So, just give me a minute.

Aha, I'm going to start over.

Dear new best friend,

(Do you like it?)

Ok, first of all, I know I should be more considerate for you, but here I am being all happy and bright while you are probably … not. I kind of feel like a huge jerk now to be honest. But if you look at it from my side, you'll have to admit you would be happy too.

You probably don't know why I needed a new heart and I won't tell you because I don't think you'd be interested anyway. I am going to tell you that it wasn't my fault I needed one, you might think: 'And why do I care?' but consider this: What if the heart went to someone that didn't deserve it? Someone that had spent his whole life smoking and eating fast food, completely ruined his own body and heart? Or someone who used to be a burglar or a murderer? Or maybe even worse? And what if that person got this heart, but after that he didn't change his lifestyle and he ruined the heart you gave him? That he would ruin his new 'life'?

Maybe you get what I mean now. Because to tell you the truth I'm not really sure I should say thank you or sorry.

You get it right? The 'thank you' part is pretty obvious I hope. Everyone kept on telling me I should say thank you, but what if you don't see it that way? I can't help but to assume that you might think I stole that heart away. That I actually 'stole' that heart away of someone you really loved. Every time I read this sentence above, I feel kind of guilty for doing this to I am sorry for that.

It may sound weird but I really am sorry. But if you'll allow me, I want to live the life of the one who gave me this heart too. I want to live for me and this person you treasured so much. I'm not going to be sorry forever though, I'm going to live my life like everyone else should and I'll carry the life you gave me in this new heart of mine. And for that I'm going to say thank you.

You see, I'm not saying thank you for the heart. I'm saying thank you for the new life I got.

So (how many times have I said this?) thank you.

Your new best friend (I like how this sounds...)

Sasuke read the letter a few times before folding it up and putting it on his bedside table. He went to sleep with the tiniest of a smile that night.


So, what did you think? I know Naruto didn't appear in this chapter... I'm sorry about that...

Please, please, please review! and let me know where I can improve!

Also I just want to say, Sasuke did not in the slightest forget about Yurippe just thanks to that letter, next chapter will be about 5 months later by the way.

Oh and for those who want to know what Mai looks like, I'm drawing her so in the next chapter I'll include a link to my deviantart. :)

I'll try to update soon...