Hey guys, I'm so in love with Passenger's song which inspire this fic. So this starts at the end of the book, the first part is completely paraphrased until Rhett's infamous phrase. I hope you like it. Please let me know what do you think, love you guys.
Chapter 1
Hope
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love him when you let him go
...
"Scarlett, I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken-and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. Perhaps, if I were younger—" he sighed. "But I'm too old to believe in such sentimentalities as clean slates and starting all over. I'm too old to shoulder the burden of constant lies that go with living in polite disillusionment. I couldn't live with you and lie to you and I certainly couldn't lie to myself. I can't even lie to you now. I wish I could care what you do or where you go, but I can't."
He drew a short breath and said lightly but softly:
"My dear, I don't give a damn."
And the world broke down her feet and she fell and fell. Without no one to hold her and whisper in her ear that everything had been a dream, a bad dream and that she was safe and loved... But it was all gone... She thought once she had been in Hell, she was wrong, this was Hell...
"Scarlett..."
She wanted Rhett. She needed Rhett. She couldn't live without him... She just couldn't...
"Scarlett!"
Finally, her eyes opened and the first thing she saw was the thing she most wanted, Rhett. His face twisted out of concern in the dark, holding her face in his big hands.
Scarlett didn't think twice and moving Rhett's hands away from her face, she sat up and threw herself into his arms, holding him closely. She was afraid he would disappear in the night, so she held him tightly. There was something in the way, though. A little bump, stopping her from wrapping herself around her husband. Oh, well, she couldn't think of that right now.
"It's all right, my dear," his husband whispered lovingly, holding her closely, caressing her hair as she were a frightened child. Well, in that moment she was, indeed, a frightened child. "It's all right, I'm here. I'm here—"
"You're here," she let out a sigh of relief, closing her eyes and her tears started to fall down her cheeks. "You're here, you're here... Thanks' God, you're here."
Rhett stiffened when he heard her words and, just a few seconds after, he buried his face in her tangled curls.
Could it be true? Had he really heard what he thought in Scarlett's voice? A desperately need, a relieved prayer, a loving one—? Had he just heard love and relief in her voice—because he was there with her? He needed to see it in her eyes, because if there was hope, if there was need, if there was love—he would give her the world.
He pulled away difficultly because Scarlett didn't want to let him go and he cupped once again her face in his large hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. Immediately, she lifted her hands and held onto his wrists.
"Don't cry, my dear. Not anymore. I'm here. You're safe," and the truth behind those words gave Scarlett hope and the relief she needed. The relief she had wanted to feel after the War and while she had almost starved in Tara. But the one she couldn't feel even when she knew Ashley was safe, nor after marrying Frank, nor after marrying Rhett. Because he told her he didn't love her, because he told her it was just a transaction... But Scarlett, as impressionable as she was, didn't think it had been just a dream. She thought, no, she knew it was a second chance to make better her children's life, and Melly's and, of course, Rhett's.
Then, with a startle, she recalled the little bump she felt when she hugged his husband tightly and she looked down. She almost fainted even if she rarely did it. The little bump was hers. She was pregnant... God, she was pregnant! But with Bonnie or…? Rhett hadn't been in his bed after having Bonnie and neither when she was pregnant again... but that had been part of the dream or she had already had Bonnie? And then it hit her... Bonnie! She would be alive either if she was pregnant with her or with the other baby. She would be alive!
Scarlett untangled herself from her husband and jumped out of the bed. And before Rhett could stop her, she yanked open the door and ran down the hall to Bonnie's room.
It only took a few seconds to Rhett to follow his wife. He didn't understand. Had she needed to go somewhere... or had she just ran away from him? The thought of her wanting him to be away even after one of her bad dreams cut him deeply. Why? He thought as he crossed the hall looking for Scarlett. Why couldn't she just love him as he loved her?
But he found her in the least expected place; in the empty nursery. They hadn't decided how to decorate it yet. And, frankly, after seeing Scarlett's decorator skills, he wasn't letting her make any decision about it.
He stepped in but she didn't turn. What was she thinking? He wondered. Did she still want to kill his baby? Was she still repulsed because she was carrying his child... or this could be a sign that she had changed her mind?
Scarlett turned around slowly and her eyes met his. Her big green eyes were red and puffy, and she was crying hard. Rhett really didn't think—as he always did when he saw Scarlett like that—, and he pulled her to him, evolving her softly in his arms. He thought she would pull away and say something nasty or something hurtful, but she just clung to his neck, burying her face in his shoulder and cried her heart out.
Rhett was now really worried. What was going on with her? Being like this wasn't good for her now, neither for the baby.
"Darling, what's wrong?" he asked her softly, hoping she would tell him if he ask her nicely. Scarlett pulled away and looked up at him miserably. That look in her eyes killed him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Rhett... I've never meant it—I've never—I'm sorry," she sobbed, crying over and over holding onto his arms as she feared he would disappear in thin air.
"What are you saying, darling?" he asked her gently, his heart starting to pound fiercely. Had she finally came to her senses? Had she finally seen the truth about her feelings?
"I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about how badly I treated you. And I'm sorry for listening to Ma-Mammie Bart. I would never do-do that Rhett, I swe-swear," she sobbed, starting to hiccup. "I ju-just wanted to hurt you be-because you had upset me bu-but I lo-love this baby, Rhett. I love it so mu-much. I love it becau-cause it's yours. I'm so-sorry—"
Rhett didn't hear anything else and he pulled her to him tightly. She wanted his baby. She loved his baby! Maybe there was still hope. Maybe she already loved him, but she hadn't realized it. With hope, with that sweet and bright flame in his chest, he lifted his tiny wife in his arms and carried her to their bedroom.
She clung to him tightly and she barely let him go so he could close the door. Once he did it, he turned and the saw of her sitting in bed, refusing to lie down without him swelled his heart painfully delicious and he felt something twisting in his stomach. Good God, this woman still had a complete power over him, but for tonight, and as long as he saw hope in her eyes, he wouldn't mind.
Scarlett held the coves lifted so he could lie next to her and as soon as he slid next to her, she clung to him, wrapping herself around him. That night, Rhett fell asleep with his lovely wife's head lying on top of his heart, her tiny arm holding him close as she feared he would go away, her legs tangled with his and her hair spread over his neck, fulfilling his lungs with her essence as if it was oxygen.
His last thought was one full of hope and love for his wife.
However, Scarlett didn't dare to close her eyes. She was afraid she would wake up alone on the stairs, realizing all this was merely a dream and she was alone again... But the smell of his musk and being in Rhett's arms again who held her closely acted like powerful sedatives.
