Happiness, that's what Daryl should be feeling right now, right? Carol, his best friend on this god-forsaken planet, had saved him and the rest of their makeshift family from certain death by disrupted cannibals all by herself. It seem as if everything was back to the way it should be, the prison group back together, except something was missing. That something was Beth, and her absence was all he could focus on. As the group trudged through the backwoods of Georgia, just happy to be alive, all he could focus on was how he had let that little blonde ray of sunshine down. It was the first time since he lost had lost her that he had a chance to think on it and to really feel guilty.
Daryl had never given in anyone in the group any specifics about how it had happened, just that she was gone. That some scum bags had snatched her up and thrown her in a car never to be seen again. He would never admit that he had thought the Funeral Home where he and Beth spent their last days together was too good to be true. That instead of listening to his instinct, he had listened to her and decided to "have a little faith". That it was his fault she was taken, they should have stayed together instead of him ordering her to the road. That he was a failure, if he had only run faster, tracked better, not given up in the middle of the road, maybe Beth would be with them right now.
He would never speak of the fears he had for the sweet blonde headed girl. Like where she might be or who she might be with or if maybe she was better off dead. If the people who took her were anything like the pricks that he was forced to join after he lost her, death would be a blessing for her. His stomach grew heavy and his mouth dry, just thinking about it so he focused on making sure none of these feelings were evident on his bruised, sunburned face.
It was such an odd thing to be traveling in a group again, one that he could trust anyway. For months after the prison it was just he and Beth against the world and he found that maybe that was enough. He had found, in Beth, a person he could finally rely on.
He remembered the night at the cabin they'd later burn down, when Beth spit his words back at him playfully. She didn't know what she was saying was eerie foreshadowing of their future.
"You can't depend on anybody for anything, right? I'll be gone someday…. You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon."
And she was right, like Beth always was, he did miss her. He missed her because he…loved her? Was that right? Did he love Beth Greene? The only person, before the world went to shit, that Daryl Dixon was sure he loved was Merle but now this beautiful flower of a girl planted her roots in his heart. And wasn't that just like Beth? To shake up his world. To make a cold unfeeling Dixon man love her.
But loving her also came with a feeling of guilt for Daryl. Not just because he knew he lost her or because he never get to tell her his feelings but because he felt like he didn't deserve her. He was almost 40 now and Beth was a fresh faced 18 year old, he felt like a dirty old pervert feeling this way about her. Like he was going to spoil her innocence, what little bit the apocalypse spared her. Beth was such beautiful girl with her ocean-blue eyes and perfectly white smile that contrasted the darkness of the brand new world. And Daryl…well he was just rough. And old redneck prick who only had a purpose after reality turned to chaos. He had no right to love such a delicate thing, he knew if he was the one to hold her she'd break in his callused hand.
But it didn't matter now, because if there was a God, he was playing a cruel trick on him. He'd never see Beth again, just another time the world decided to use his words against him.
"You ain't never gonna see Maggie again."
"You're such a dick…" he thought silently. He gave his head a tiny shake trying to erase the memory like an image on an etch-a-sketch but the motion must have been more pronounced than he thought because right at that moment, a kind-eyed Carol caught up to him.
"Everything alright pookie?" she said softly.
The pet name she had picked up for him, usually he found it stupidly endearing but today, he just found it annoying. He didn't want to talk today, not to anyone, not with Beth on his mind. He just gave grunt in return, hoping she drop it and fall back into her spot behind him, but she didn't. She was still just as persistent as she had been on the farm, when she refused to let him distance himself from the group.
He turned his head to at her, greasy bangs helping to cover his face.
"I'm fine. S'nothing."
She gave him a knowing look but instead of pushing it grimly said, "Nobody's fine," and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder before slowing her pace to walk with Tyrese.
He and Carol had an understanding never to push one another. Life was tough enough now a days without having someone wanting to be your damn therapist all the time. This was what their friendship was based on, a mutual silent empathy. That's why when the group finally camped for the night somewhere in the Georgia backwoods, he hadn't pushed Carol to talk about her misfortunes after the prison either. While Daryl appreciated the arrangement he had with Carol, he missed how open he had become with Beth. How over the fall she came to know of his childhood pain, and he came to understand just how wrong he had been about the youngest Greene girl.
Daryl was quickly pulled out of his memories when he heard the rustling of bushes, an unnerving feeling of being watched washed over him. He stayed extra vigilant on his watch (just in case) until the gruff figure of Abraham came to relive him. With a firm nod of the head Daryl thanked him and found a solid oak tree to lean against and drifted into sleep. He dreamed only of Beth that night.
When the first light of dawn hit his eyes, Daryl instinctively woke. A low groan came from him as he realized he woke to the same shitty world he had fallen asleep in. The same world that was ruled by dead men walking and was missing Beth. He careful rubbed his tired eyes and silently rose as not to wake the others still sleeping around him. Glenn was on watch and Daryl gave him nod in passing as he made his way deeper into the forest, crossbow slung over his back.
The trained hunter made his way first to the several snares he, Rick, and Carl had set the night before. Out of the 6 snares they had set, only 3 had given them any profit and one of those had already been munched on by a passing walker (son of a bitch). So the rest of the morning was spent killing squirrels and trying to track who in the hell was watching them last night. Once Daryl had a nice haul (and was positive there were no crazy cannibals following them) he met up with the group who were already heading out.
After Terminus, everyone was on edge, so when Daryl returned he was met with an army of raised guns.
"We surrender," he stated jokingly as he swung his daily catch onto his back. "No tracks. No nothing," he whispered has he caught up to Rick.
"So whatever you heard last night..."
"It's more what I felt," Daryl admitted.
"If someone was watching us, there would have been something."
Daryl shook his head in agreement and fell back with the rest of his makeshift family. Only a few minutes into their journey into the unknown, they heard a man crying for help.
If this new world had taught Daryl Dixon anything it was not to trust the living, and Daryl definitely did not trust this preacher guy. He was too innocent, too clean… Nobody survived this long without doing something unforgivable and Daryl had no intention of sticking around to see just what it was, but the group was tired and hungry and scared and Gabriel had a church. So the group consensus (minus the Washington-Bound crowd) was to find supplies and rest up before they made their next move. At least Daryl knew that Rick had the same reservations about the pastor has he did, and Rick wasn't going to let another damn thing happen to his family if he could help it.
So once the church was secure, the group spilt up, spending the day collecting much needed supplies.
As the group agreed to help Eugene get to Washington, the feeling of guilt washed over Daryl again. Leaving Georgia was like making it official that none of them would never see Beth again, and it made him sick to his stomach. He needed to talk to someone, about anything….anything but Beth. He looked around for Carol, assuming she was still sitting in one of the pews but she was nowhere to be found.
Slinging his trusty bow over his back, Daryl stepped out into the cool night air and began searching for her. He found her by a four-door they had discovered early during their water collection. His voice was low and quizzical "What are you doing?"
"I don't know," she answered honestly back.
"Come on," he said making a motion back towards the church and their friends, when all of the sudden a car flew past them on the road. A black car with a white cross on the back windshield. The universe was finally favoring him, he had found a way back to Beth. Without a second thought he knocked out the tail lights of the car.
"Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? What are you doing?" exclaimed a very stunned Carol.
"They got Beth," he said with such certainty, "Come on. Come on, get in."
They were both in the car, chasing down Beth's captors before Carol even had the chance to argue.
Once again the universe had found a way to fuck Daryl Dixon over. Carol and Beth should have been sitting in the passenger seat next to him, but instead some stranger was in there place. Because instead of everything going to plan (it never seemed to these days) Carol had been by a goddamn car and Beth was still locked up in Grady Memorial with a bunch of psycho cops.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," was now the mantra in his head.
The anger he was feeling was clearly visible. Downturn lips, heavy eyes, flailing nostrils all the signs that this overprotective redneck was ready to beat some ass. He turned sharply to stare down his passenger, Noah. He tried to keep his voice clam as he spoke but it came out just as brute as ever, "How is it that you made it out of that nut house and Beth didn't? Huh?" His blue eyes were piercing as he waited for the boy's answer.
Noah gulped, "We were escaping together…"he didn't dare meet Daryl's eyes.
The van slowed on the road, Daryl needed answers right this fucking second. So he stopped the car in the middle of the road, unbuckled his seatbelt and turned his whole body to face him. "And?"
Noah's voice was weak, whether it was from fear or guilt Daryl wasn't sure, " …and there were walkers surrounding the building….she was taking them down but Dawn and the other cops they were coming after us so I just kept running."
Daryl's blood began to boil, "So what? You just fucking left her there?"
Noah shook his head fiercely, "No..no, they took her down…I didn't mean to….I didn't know…I just" There was no hiding the guilt that Noah felt. His soft brown eyes finally meet the blue accusing ones, "She saved me Daryl, sacrificed herself."
Daryl let out a snort, if that wasn't just like Beth. Risking everything she had to get out of that place and then sacrificing herself so that someone she barely knew could escape instead. Just the thought of her selflessness made Daryl's heart soften. He grunted, "Sounds like Beth…" He rand his hand through his beard and let out a small sigh, why couldn't that girl ever make anything easy? Maybe it was because she was the only girl worth all the extra trouble. The next words out of his mouth did not come easy, "When you last saw her… was she okay? Did they…" he gulped, "Was she hurt?" This time his eyes were wide and worrisome, because these were the questions he hated to ask but he had to know.
Noah gave a soft nod of the head, "Yeah she was okay. Had a broken wrist when she came in but that was about it…"
Daryl still looked unconvinced, "You know the question I'm asking," he stated gruffly.
"Oh," Noah realized, "I…I..I don't think she was, but we need to get back soon. They don't go easy on the women," he said solemnly.
A new surge of urgency passed over Daryl and he quickly buckled up again, and started to fly down the road once more. He swore to himself in that moment if anyone of those bastards had touched her, he would kill them himself. Rick had said that the people at Terminus didn't get to live, well these pricks didn't either.
When they were about a ½ mile from the church, Daryl pulled over, "Come on we walk from here" Daryl was rushing through the familiar forest while crippled Noah hobbled behind. The fire burning in the pit of Daryl's stomach wouldn't allow him to stop and wait for the boy. The church was now in view and Daryl was greeted by Michonne.
"Where's Carol?" she questioned as Daryl appeared alone out of the dark.
He gave her a grave look, and turned back towards the woods and called out, "Come on out," and an out of breath Noah appeared. "She ain't with us. I need to talk to Rick now," he pushed quickly past Michonne and into the church. He usually wouldn't be this gruff with her, but he wasn't exactly himself right now. Rick was asleep, curled up on one of the church pews, the basket that contained Judith right next to him. Without any consideration, Daryl gave him a push to wake him, "Wake up Rick."
Part of Daryl new that there was nothing they could do tonight, but that didn't stop him from waking everybody in the damn church up. Rick's hand moved swiftly to the Colt on his side, "What the hell is going on?...Daryl? Where have you been?" Everyone that was once sleeping was now awake and looking directly at the clearly disturbed Daryl.
"Rick I found where Beth is," Daryl glanced back the door, "Get in here."
A shy Noah entered through the door, ushered by a cautious Michonne. "The same people now have Carol, Rick. We gotta go get 'em."
Rick ran his calloused fingers through the thick salt and pepper beard that covered most of his face, "Slow down Daryl. Where are they? Who is that?"
Daryl held tight to the strap of crossbow that hung on his shoulder, like if he let ago he might fall into a million pieces. "There's a hospital in Atlanta. Grady Memorial, Rick they have some set up there with cops and a doctor. Theyre the ones that took Beth. Carol and I saw the same car that took her pass by the church a few nights ago so we followed it. Noah was with Beth, Rick in the hospital. Told us where she was but when we we're trying to come up with a plan…trying to find somewhere safe, the same stupid pricks hit Carol with their car." Daryl's voice was mixed with anger and desperation, "GODDAMN IT RICK THEY HAVE BOTH OF THEM."
There was nothing but a heavy silence after he was done, his heart was pounding in his ears. After a few moments began to realize how utterly stupid it had been to yell, probably attracted every walker for a mile, not to mention the looks everyone was giving him. Some of them pitiful, others fearful and all he could do was slump down onto one of the wooden seats and let out a long breath.
Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder and looked him straight in the eye, "We're gonna get them back."
