Nightmares and Memories

Katniss Everdeen was running. Where is Peeta? she asked herself. "PEETA!" With that, she awoke with a start. This wasn't the first nightmare. Every night since she and Peeta Mellark had won the Hunger Games when they were 16, nightmares haunted her every night. They were different though. Some nights, they were that first arena where she and Peeta, the star-crossed lovers of District 12, fought together. Other nights, she dreamt of Gale. Once, she thought of Gale as her friend. Maybe more than that. But when that explosion that he helped create killed her beloved sister Prim, Katniss wanted nothing to do with him. But in her nightmares she could hear him murmuring, "It's okay Catnip. Run away with me." But Gale held no attraction for Katniss. Peeta was her husband, and had been for the last 15 years or so. Their two beautiful children, Gallinthro and Primrose, were proof of the love in their relationship. Speaking of which, at that moment, Katniss heard crying coming from her son's room. She quietly made her way down the hall and looked in on her young son.

One-year-old Gallinthro, Gall for short, was standing up in his crib with his eyes streaming tears. Once again, Katniss was amazed at how much he resembled his father. The same ashy blonde hair and sweet smile. Even now, as Gall screamed and cried, Katniss marveled at her son. She could barely see his gray Seam eyes through the thick layer of tears.

As she rocked him back and forth in her arms, Katniss sang Gall's favorite lullaby. It was one of her own "Sleep tight little angel don't shed a tear. Mommy's here, and there's nothing to fear. " Soon, little Gall was fast asleep in her arms. Katniss had inherited her father's voice. When he sang, all the birds stopped to listen. Peeta told her that she had the same effect.

As she placed her little son back in his crib, Katniss heard the soft voice of her husband behind her. "It's breathtaking every time." Katniss jumped at the sound. She wheeled around to see Peeta lounging on the doorway. "You," she growled through gritted teeth "nearly gave me a heart attack."

He grinned widely. "That's the idea." He said a little too loud. Gall's eyelids fluttered for a moment before fully closing again. Katniss rolled her eyes and continued down the hall to her daughter's room. 8-year-old Rosie slept soundly, her wavy brown hair spread out across the pillow. She was the spitting image of Prim, Katniss' own sister. That's, of course, where Rosie got her name. She didn't like to be called Prim, but rather Rosie. As Katniss looked at her beautiful daughter, she felt the same wave of sadness that had been hitting her since Prim had been killed in the Revolution. To make things worse, the wave of sadness wasn't solely for Prim, but for Gale too. Gale used to be Katniss' best friend. But that friendship had ended abruptly when Katniss learned that Gale had designed and possibly released the bomb that had murdered her beloved sister. Of course, Rosie didn't know all the details, she was much too young. But she did know that her would-be aunt was dead and that she was named for her.

"It still hits you doesn't it?" came Peeta's soft voice in her ear. She had sworn just a few months ago that Peeta was crazy to believe that she still felt the heavy loss of Prim. But, as usual, he was dead-on. And she guessed this was the right time to admit it. "Yes. All of it hits me. Cinna, Mags, Finnick, Gale, and most especially Prim. Because they didn't have to die. It was because of me that they died. If I had died in the Hunger Games like I should have, then they'd all be alive." Katniss was sobbing now. Peeta wrapped his arms around her. She would never admit it, but she missed Peeta, too. He had never been the same ever since President Snow had kidnapped and hijacked him. Slowly, the original Peeta came back, but never the whole.

"Katniss, if you hadn't survived, those people probably would have died anyway. Snow would have made sure of that. And if they didn't die under Snow, then you can bet Coin would have finished them. And, if you weren't alive, there would still be the Hunger Games. Prim's children could have been subjected to our fate. And our children. They wouldn't be here right now, sleeping soundly." Yet again, Peeta was right. But that didn't ease her guilt about Prim and the rest. "Let's go to bed" suggested Peeta. "Everything will be fine." Katniss allowed Peeta to guide her back to their bed, where she fell into an easy sleep, with the knowledge that Peeta was there, strong as ever, with his arms around her. And that was exactly how she wanted it.