Summary: Written for comment fic at LJ. Prompt: Leverage, Hardison, "There are Spartans in my machine!"

I wrote this a really long time ago and just now got around to re-posting it here.


Trojan Horse

Eliot storms in and drops a computer on the table next to Hardison. "There are Spartans in my machine!" He points at the very-not-normal (as far as he can tell) screen. "Fix it!"

Hardison sighs and pushes away from his own computer. "Eliot, they're Trojans."

Eliot shakes his head, "Nope, they're Spartans alright. They just snuck in and started attacking. That's what the Spartans did. Ain't the Trojans. Trojans got invaded an' ended up gettin' their asses kicked."

Hardison stares at him.

Eliot scowls. "What? I read."

Hardison blinks and makes a face. "Read what? The manual? My instructions for how to use a computer? 'Cause you sure didn't read that."

Eliot growls. "Just shut up and slay the Spartans already!"

"Trojans."

"Spartans."


Edit 1/31/2012: An anon reviewer informed me that it was Ulysses who was in the Trojan Horse, so therefore, it was not the Spartans, but the Greeks who attacked Troy. Yes, I am well aware of that, but according to Homer, it was the Achaeans as a group and not just the Greeks (Hellenes) who were fighting the Trojans. It was the Greeks, Daanans, and Argives together. So if I'd had Eliot say, "There are Achaeans in my machine!" that would have been more accurate. However, that doesn't have the same ring as "Spartans" (read: "macho, mighty, practically undefeatable, etc"). Also, the prompt specifically said, "Spartans," so I had to use that. My justification for being a tad off on the name of the attackers was that Menelaus of Sparta was the one who declared war on the Trojans after Prince Paris eloped with Ole Menny's wife, Helen. The rest of the Achaeans had to go along with it because Ulysses had yet another bright idea (that he later regretted) that all the suitors for Helen when she was The Bachelorette had to enter into a contract to be war allies. Also, yet another justification for using "Spartans" is that Menelaus himself was one of the men in the Horse, and thus, at least one Spartan attacked Troy.

And yes, I knew all of this before I wrote this story, but I was hoping that no one would notice the slight factual error. Darn it!