I think I'm drowning.. what is this hell? I can't breathe well. I can't think. I can't even scream out even though I desire it.. Sound just can't escape my throat. My head thumping, my body aching.. I'm being weighed down. It was him. I could tell it was him. I try to open my eyes but they're heavy. They're iust so very heavy. I am dizzy and slipping in and out of consciousness. My eyes open and a slither of light slips in. I let my eyes adjust to the not so familiar surroundings. It's him. I feel a pounding in my head followed by an excruciating pain. I'm on the ground now. I slip away slowly. Why am I so stupid?

The next morning

I walk into the school building, my body still numb, to see one of my friends standing in a small group of people. She catches me in the corner of her eye and starts to greet me.

"Hey Da-" Natasha says before turning her head to catch full view of me and looking in shock "Dan! You look horrible!"

Natasha was a really close friend of mine. I love her so much and she is definitely one of my oldest friends.. we go back a lot. She was incredibly pretty and had bright purple hair, ear stretchers and also put her own style on her uniform. By that I mean she would put it with her doc martins that, ideally matched her hair. She was very pail and wore dark eyeliner. She also has a lip piercing and tongue piercing. It would be an under exaggeration if I said every teacher hated her. She was constantly getting into arguments with the teachers and always gets close to being expelled but, she's the smartest person in our year and so her alone makes the results look great for this year, even though a lot of people are getting lower grades.

"Thanks so much, Tash!" I say sarcastically, walking in the direction of my locker to avoid interaction.

"Dan, don't walk away from me, please." She pleads as I look down at the floor. I continue to walk, not wanting to tell anyone what happened the night before.

"Fine, I'll get your boyfriend on you" she joked. I knew immediately she was referring to my older best friend, Phil. He was already in university and we had met through the internet. We'd skyped countless amounts of times and he meant the world to me. It would be a complete lie if I said I didn't have the tiniest amount of feelings for him.. It would also be a complete lie if I said that before I go to sleep at night, I didn't have these thoughts that replaced each bitter memory from my days events is the thought that one day, just one day, to add on to the list of things that me and Phil have in common, that he would be as head over heals as I am for him. It would also be a lie if I said I didn't create small scenarios in my head of me and Phil just lying in bed together each and every night with our limbs entangled, fingers entwined, my head on Phil's chest and his arm that isn't connected to the hand he is holding onto in one of his soft hand finds it's way around my back so we are so close we can feel the warmth of each other, we can hear the others heart beat going so fast because they are terrified of when morning comes and having to let you out of their grip.. I also create scenarios of us playing video games together until the early hours of the morning or watching buffy the vampire slayer until one of us falls asleep in the others protecting arms.

"Shut up!" I chuckle slightly, realising it had been a while since I answered and she was giving me a look as if to say 'I know you were day dreaming about Phil' trying to make myself look less depressed. "He's only a friend!" I said to her, shoving her arm playfully. Most people would of counted this as flirting but we'd been friends for roughly 8 years, since year 7, she was more like my sister then anything.

"Yeah, says the person who called me at 2:30am in January screaming 'OH MY FUCKING GOD. PHIL FOLLOWED ME! HE FUCKING FOLLOWED ME!'" She mimicked my earlier actions.

"..I did not say that!" I said in denial, and then burst into laughter because I know it couldn't be more true.

"Hey, I knew I could get a smile out of you!" She said softly then smiled. "Anyway, we should get to class".

"Okay, let me just get my books. I'll meet you there" I lie.

"Alright" she says and walks off happily

Instead of getting my book I actually took out my phone. I found Phil's contact and pressed on it. Before long he picked up and his voice filled my ears.

"Morning Dan!" He greets me.

"Hey Phil." I say in a nervous tone.

"What's up?" He said, worry filling his usual cheerful voice.

"Um.. could we skype later. I need to tell you something and I don't know if I can over the phone.

"Alright.. hope you have a good day, Dan."

"Yeah, you too."

"Bye."

"Bye." I say before putting my phone into my bag.

I then walk down the hall, only to get tripped up by some bullies.

"Aww, has the little fag tripped over? Poor wittle thing!" The ringleader, Alex, said in a mocking tone.

"I'm not a fag.." I retorted, in a strong tone, trying to hold back tears. I knew what was coming.

"Aww.. is wittle Danny in denial? Aww.. that's cute."

"I don't even like guys." I lied, knowing I did, but trying to fool them "what made you think that?" They laughed for a while before answering.

"Your formspring." My eyes widened. I knew I admitted on there a while back that I was bisexual.

"H-how did you find that?" I choked out.

"It's not hard.." they laughed. "Why did you try to lie to us Dan?"

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Bullshit. You know what we do to liars.."

Suddenly I was silenced. I couldn't say anything. I felt a tear trickle down my face as their legs connected with my stomach. I was kicked repetitively and then dragged into the near by toilets to limit the amount of people able to see me. I then took a powerful kick to the jaw. They then pulled me up by the hair and pushed me to the wall, one put a hand around my neck to hold me up against the wall, immediately making me flinch at the touch as my neck is sensitive on it's own, without some guy who's attacking me placing his hand on it. Alex steps forward and gives me a hard punch to the temple. I almost stream because the pain is so intense. I then get harshly thrown back down on the floor only to be stamped on, right across my face. They look down and then finally finish up by spitting on me in turn. They walked off, proud of their work.

I stand up slowly and look at myself in the mirror by the sink. I look at myself in disgust before turning on the tap and cupping my hands, letting the cold running water pour into my hands. I watch my hands fill and once they are throw the water over my face. I do this a few more times letting the cold water refresh me and then get some paper hand towels to dry my face. I look at myself once more and sigh.

The bells echos through the hall indicating we need to be in our lesson so I run down the hall as best I can and enter the class, keeping my head low so people can't see the state I'm in.