Disclaimer: As always Twlight is the property of S. Meyer

A/N This is my first fanfic and I am a little scared about posting it! I wrote it a few months ago when I should have been working it is inspired by the song Crash from You Me At Six which I expect can be found on YouTube. I have split it into four small chapters that I will post over the next few days I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter One

We stood glaring at each other our words becoming increasingly sharp and vicious what had started off as small disagreement was quickly escalating into a full blown fight. We hadn't fought like this for a very long time and it was ironic that again it was my reluctance to take our relationship to the next level that had started of this bitter explosion of words. But even as I watched the anger swirling behind his eyes it still wasn't enough to completely hide how much me loved me and as the memories of our life together rushed through my head I knew I couldn't make the same mistake twice I had nearly lost him before I couldn't risk that happening again. So despite my flight instinct kicking in I wasn't going to run away this time.

We had been best friends since we were five and had started school in the same class. He was shy and introverted where as I was the absolute opposite. Being loud and opinionated had got my smart mouth into trouble on more than one occasion but we complimented each other balancing the other out I taught him to be more assertive and he helped me to cool it down when I got a little out of control. Our friendship remained constant throughout our childhood one rarely ever being without the other until we hit puberty. Hormones, those belonging to others rather than our own, began to wreak havoc in our lives suddenly girls seemed to notice my existence and wanted my attention no doubt intrigued by my cocky attitude. However my complete and utter indifference to it only seemed to encourage them more despite the fact that the only person I ever had any desire to spend time with was Jasper. He never made any reference to my new found popularity and ignored our female classmates better than I did. Unbeknown to me and my obliviousness our relationship was changing and once we reached our mid teens the underlying current that had been slowly building between us finally crashed over my head enlightening me to what Jasper had discovered many months before I did.

It was Mike's 16th birthday party and a whole crowd of us had gathered on First Beach for an excuse to drink ourselves into a stupor without the prying eyes of our parents. It wasn't unusual for us to meet at the beach on a weekend so my parents didn't have any problem letting me go. Mike had managed to strike some deal with his older brother and had brought a couple of cases of beer down to the beach so within an hour there was already a few less than sober 16 year olds fooling around I was three or four bottles of beer in myself and sat on one of the logs surrounding the fire pit waiting for Jasper. We would normally meet up before parties and come together but recently he had been acting a bit distant I put it down to the stress of studying he always put too much pressure on himself to make perfect grades but despite that I still thought it a little odd when he said he would meet me here. I was sat by myself on a log by the fire leant forward my elbows rested on my knees a bottle of beer swinging loosely from my fingers I wasn't paying attention to the group of girls that had just arrived my attention firmly fixed on the blue flames licking around the edges of drift wood deep in my own thoughts. For the last six months one girl seemed to struggle more than any of the others at taking no for an answer. Bella had made it clear on more than one occasion that she wanted to be more than just my friend. In the beginning I had just out right ignored her but she was persistent and I had come to realise that her willingness to do anything for me had its uses. I won't deny that how I treated her was unfair and also a bit cruel allowing her to believe there was a possibility of gaining my attention but she seemed happy to run around after me. Too consumed in my head she spotted me before I had a chance to make an escape and made a beeline in my direction I was took in complete surprise as my first indication of her arrival was when she planted herself firmly in my lap. One look in her eyes told me that she was drunk and I later found out that some of the girls had been through Jessica's mum's liquor collection whilst supposedly getting ready for this party although a disadvantage to me I'm sure some of the other boys saw it differently. She wiggled herself in until she was plastered against my chest her arm haphazardly wrapped around my shoulders as her head lay in the crook of my neck. For a few seconds I sat perfectly still unsure how to react despite my recent un-gentlemanly behaviour I'm not cruel enough to eject her onto the floor after all if could be said that I had brought it on myself. When her lips started to make a trail up my neck to behind my ear I looked in panic for someone to rescue me. My eyes immediately fixed with Jasper's who was watching the whole scene from across the other side of the fire I instantly felt a wave of relief as he would surely come over and save me. Jasper had made his distaste for my behaviour well known and it did sometimes present a tension between us but he always had my back so I expected at the most a look of I told you so before he made his way over to disentangle me. But in those few seconds as our eyes connected I saw nothing but hurt clouding his face creating an unsettling knot in my stomach that only got tighter as he turned and quickly walked away. My initial thoughts of saving Bella's feelings no longer registered in my brain as the desperation to get to Jasper took hold. Before I could even decide what to do I stood unceremoniously dropping Bella onto the sand. Uttering a quick apology I ran to catch up with his retreating back shouting his name and begging him to wait. He finally stopped at the far end of the beach away from all our partying classmates. It was pitch black without the light of the fire so I could just about make out his silhouette at the foot of the cliffs. I was not the most athletic of people and running in the sand whilst shouting at the top of my voice had burnt my lungs so I used the last few steps towards Jasper's back to recover my ability to breathe. Due to the complete lack of light I had no choice but to get right up close to see his face I could guess from his balled fists and the tension in his back that the hurt had evolved into anger and this was confirmed the moment I stepped in front of him.

"What the hell is your problem, did you not hear me calling you to stop" I huffed in frustration from having to sprint from one end of the beach to the other

"I heard you" he replied tersely his jaw held ridged from struggling to contain his emotions

"For whatever I've done I'm sorry" I tried to soothe his anger by offering an apology although for what it was for I had no idea.

"What are you apologising for Edward do you even know?"

I shrugged my shoulders at being caught out but also to cover the fact that I was at a complete loss as to what to say.

"You don't have to apologise I'm not angry at you" he sighed walking away to sit on the rocks at the base of the cliff. We had spent hours clambering on those rocks as small children and I pondered briefly how much easier life was back then as I followed uselessly and sat myself on a rock just below him.

"Then what are you angry at" I asked bringing my feet up onto the rock and resting my arms across my knees. I don't look at him instead I stare out at the ocean giving him time to answer the question.

"Myself" A one word answer whispered quietly that does nothing but raise more questions

"Why?"

"I don't think I can talk about it"

I didn't speak immediately his words hanging heavy in the air between us as I idly sat watching the waves crash over the shore. This was the first time he had never wanted to tell me something, we told each other everything even the most embarrassing events in our lives were not kept secret like the day my mum walked in on me relieving my usual morning predicament, there was nothing we hadn't talked about. The silence between us continued to stretch on until I couldn't take it anymore

"You can tell me anything, you know that" I whispered

For a moment I wondered whether he heard me as he didn't respond I opened my mouth to say the words again but was halted as he began to speak

"Edward you are my best friend but I am afraid because if I say the words I want to say I risk losing you forever"

Confusion swamped my brain what could he possibly say that would change our friendship.

"Nothing will stop us being friends" I tried to reassure him

"You can't say that"

"Why not, it's true" I tried to keep the frustration out of my voice but it crept in regardless

"Let's forget I said anything" He tried to backtrack but I was not about to let it go, I couldn't

"Just tell me" My insistence was met with silence "Tell me!" I demanded but still he didn't answer me.

Finally the frustration got the better of me and I was on my feet stood in front of him "For fucks sake just say it!"

Silence still prevailed as he stared at his hands that were laid in his lap. My patience had reached its limit so I said the one thing that I knew would get a rise out of him. "Jasper why do you have to be so pathetic" I winced as I said the words but they had the effect I desired as he jumped to his feet and shoved me backwards

"I said forget it" he reiterated through gritted teeth but instead of giving him his wish I shoved him back

"No" I shouted in his face

"Fucking hell Edward just drop it"

But I didn't I couldn't "No!"

There was a paused moment before words exploded from his mouth "I'm fucking in love with you, there I've said it happy now?"


Please let me know what you think x