Freddie
…
I look over to Spencer in the waiting room. I could hear Sam's screams and cries for drugs from all the way down in the hall. I tap my foot loudly. This is hell. The doctor told us she had to give birth the good old way. Natural. No drugs. No pain killers. I feel a lump in my throat. I could see the discomfort in Spencer's eyes. I look at the clock on the wall. Nine thirty two. She's been in labor for an hour and a half now. I get up and pace around. I'm going insane calling my self stupid under my breath. If you could only imagine, seventeen and pregnant.
" Stop pacing!" Spencer yells.
" I can't! Sam's in pain and there is nothing I can do about it. NOTHING!" I yell.
" There is nothing you can do Freddie!" Spencer says. " Please take a seat and try to think of happy thoughts." I take a seat back next to Spencer.
" How can I think of happy thoughts when Sam out of all people is in pain." I say. "And it's all my fault!"
" It's not your fault! It's the Justin Sebold's fault. He's a senior. He broke Sam's heart and she needed a shoulder to cry on. You were a friend. Even though you did more things then friends would do." I roll my eyes.
Flashback…..
I was sitting on the couch and some senior's house. Justin invited all the juniors. Including seniors. Well no duh. Not to mention he was currently dating Sam. Carly had her eyes on the dude in the corner. I look over to her and she was making out with him. I took some punch. I saw Carly leave with the dude. Carly and I had realized that we only saw each other as friends and that's where we stood. Not to mention I don't like her like that anymore.
I heard crying and turned around to see Sam sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. I put down the punch and came up to her.
" Is everything okay?" I ask being concerned.
" Justin broke up with me." She says with her head falling into my shoulder. " I should have known better. He had been sleeping with Katherine the cat." Katherine the sexual active stealing boyfriend cheerleader was more like it. I took her hand and we went outside from all the fuss inside. The house was by the water so we went down by the shore and sat. Sam was feeling better. Away from him and everybody else. Her blue floral dress moves violently to the wind.
" So, what happened exactly." I ask. She takes a deep breath.
" I had went to his bedroom cause he told me if I couldn't find him, that he would be there. I open the door and see him inside Katherine. I ran out and he saw me and told me it was over between us. He said that juniors and seniors could never date." Sam says holding back her tears. I pull her in for a hug and let her cry it out.
" And I thought he was the one." She cries.
" Sam, he couldn't have been the one. He didn't know you as well as he knew himself. You two dated for a month. And didn't you keep on telling us how he wanted to get with you and how he would get ticked off whenever you said no." I say.
" I know but I thought he would change. I'm an idiot for believing he would."
" Your not an idiot." She lifts her head to look at my face. " Your beautiful, spunky, smart, and the most lovable person ever."
" That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."
" And I'm not done. I couldn't watch you date Justin, I knew he would break your heart and I don't like seeing you upset. You deserve someone better that Jus-fart. Someone better. Someone who knows you, knows what kind of bacon you like, who will be there to save you from Principal Franklin, someone who isn't him." Sam laughs and looks at me.
" Then who do I deserve?" Sam asks.
" Someone like me." I answer.
" I like that answer." Sam says. I cup her cheek and we close our eyes. I lean in and our noses brush. I kiss her passionately on the lips. Somehow we ended up going further than we both expected. Like, having sex in his dad's boat house. I remember Sam's legs wrapped around me and us doing it an on a old sail. It happened all too fast.
Present…..
" I just cant' believe I forgot to use a condom." I say.
" You shouldn't really beat your self down on this." Spencer says. " If look back on it. You two finally realized your love for each other and how you finally admitted it after all those years."
" That's true." I say smiling. I start to remember when Sam told me when she was pregnant. Her mother freaked but her mom told her how she was pregnant with Sam at the same age. My mother had the biggest freak out. She fainted but then she put it all behind and told me I had to be there with Sam every step of the way. I agreed with my mom. My father, the only recollection I have of him was walking out of our apartment and giving me a baseball. My parent's got divorced when I was five. My father told me he couldn't handle crazy. My mom is crazy but I lived it for seventeen years. I hear running from the room. Carly comes up to us. I stand.
" Sam's dilated. She's going to have the baby. She wants you. Even though she has been yelling 'Fuck Benson!' for the past few minutes." Carly says and takes my hand. My mom leaves the room. I look over at Sam at the bed. Her hair is a mess with a mix of sweat. Catching her breath. I stand by her right side and hold her hand. Her feet up on the slates. Sam looks at me.
" I hate you." She says.
" I know." I say accepting it proudly.
Sam
…..
I close my eyes and try to erase the pain. I open my eyes and look at the doctor.
" The next contraction, I need to push as hard as you can. Counting until ten." She says. I nod my head and the over whelming pain comes. I push and push more likely braking Carly and Freddie's hands. The doctor is counting down to ten.
" Please shut up!" I scream. The push ends and the doctor says that she sees the head. Oh my fucking christ. Another contraction comes and push with all my might despite the pain. The pain feels like I am pushing out a watermelon while knives stabs my sides. I scream. It hurts so much. I squeeze Freddie's hand more.
" It hurts! It hurts!" He repeats.
" One more push Sam!" The doctor says. I push with all my might and I feel a relief. The baby is out of me. I look down. I see her in the doctor's hands screaming. I smile. I look over to Freddie who looked dizzy but was holding himself up.
" Can someone please help the father before he faints." The doctor says. I couldn't help of laughing. A nurse gives him a paper bag which he starts breathing into. I lie my head down.
" Will the father like to cut the cord?" The doctor asks. Freddie throws the bag down and cuts the cord. I watch her get cleaned. I push out the placenta. I finally get to close my legs and relax. Freddie looks into my eyes and pulls back my hair.
" I'm sorry I didn't use a condom." He says.
" I'm sorry I squeezed your hand hard." I say.
" I don't really care." He says and kisses my forehead.
" Do you want to hold her?" The nurse asks.
" Yeah." I reply.
" I'm going to leave you two alone." Carly says walking out. The nurse places her in my arms. She has the cutest nose and she has light brown hair. I brush my thumb against her cheek.
" She's so beautiful." Freddie says.
" I know." I say smiling.
" What are we going to name her?" Freddie asks.
" I was thinking Ellie Addison." I say.
" I like it." Freddie says. We named her Ellie Addison Benson. The nurse taught me to breast feed her and the rest of gang except Freddie went home. After the feeding, I took a nap. A well deserved nap.
Freddie
…..
I watch Sam drift into sleep as I sit in the chair next to her. The nurse put little Ellie in the little baby bed in our room. I watch her eyes open. I deep shade of brown. She start to squirm so I pick her up for the first time. She's so small and light. Twelve and a half inches. Only seven pounds, four ounces. That's where all the freak cravings went to. Like the ham with chocolate sauce. I sway in one spot and look at her face. Little Ellie smiles. She's a happy baby. I sit down and brush my fingers against her light brown hair. I hold her close to me.
" Do you know what mommy had to go through for you?" I tell little Ellie. " A lot. No drugs. Natural. More likely the most scariest experiences for her next to fall off a window washer's platform. You made her eat the most disgusting things ever. Ham and chocolate doesn't go. Not to mention the terrifying shopping she had to do with Aunty Carly. But it was all worth it." I say kissing her forehead.
" Your such a nerd Benson." I turn my head and see Sam awake, and smiling. " And don't forget the pizza with apples and ham."
" Who can't forget." I put Ellie back in her bed and push her towards Sam. I look at the clock. Midnight. I get on to the hospital bed and lie next to Sam. I put my arm around her and put my head on her shoulder. I pull my self closer to her. I had to say the forbidden words.
" You know the couple is coming tomorrow." I say. " To take Ellie."
" I know." Sam says on the verge of crying. " I don't want to let go of her."
" None of us want to Sam. None of us." I say holding it in. She turns around and looks into my eyes.
" I don't want to." She says crying.
" I don't either." I say crying. She turns back around to Ellie and I hold her. She puts her hand on mine that's wrapped around her waist with my head on her shoulder once again. We both cry to sleep.
