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There was a hard, yet subtle knock at his door, and it didn't take Levi much of a guess to figure out just who the unexpected visitor was.
After all, it was only the fourth month in, had she begun to intervene with his daily schedule and unintentionally ruin his sleeping hours.
"Come in." He spoke faintly, but enough just to reach through the other side of the door.
Levi managed a long sigh, before pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. He was particularly tired, and was prepared to retreat back to bed, but knowing the company which would later fill his room; the idea of sleeping had slipped from his mind.
There was a slim a chance to zero of him being able to get any hours of sleep in. Though, not like he opted to go down this route, but did he have a choice?
He suppose he did—personally aside as a man, but as the captain of his own squad, it was his duty after all to watch over his recruits.
And watch over his recruits, he did. Literally. Especially this one, for that matter.
"Captain." Mikasa addressed, stepping into his quarters almost too stiffly. Not a hint of life or sentiment seemed to reach her voice. Though, she was slightly better tonight, which in his view, was more or less progress to his eyes.
"Ackerman," He nodded, rubbing the palm of his hand over his face. "Take a seat before you do more harm to my room."
"Harm?"
He chuckled lowly. "The temperament, I mean. I suppose you don't realize how god awfully pessimistic you are."
Mikasa frowned deeply at this. So the jokes weren't going to work tonight, Levi noted, making a mental note to himself to later cross that off his list on, 'How To Cheer Ackerman up'.
"I didn't realize.."
"Now you do. It'd be best if you smile a little more often."
"I don't know how to… anymore." There was a stiff silence towards the end of that statement, leaving Levi to wonder how he managed to deal with this; months upon goddamn months, not by any chance, lose his mind during the process of it all.
It was worse than dealing with a woman on her monthly period. Hell, he'd rather get his ass chewed out over and over again on repeat, than to deal with ,Little Miss Kill Myself, every single evening, right before an unpleasant night of restless stirring.
Sometimes he even questioned his own sanity, just to make sure he wasn't on the near verge of losing his rationality.
"Don't think. Just act." He shrugged, taking a seat next to her. "It's suppose to be natural. An instinct to your body and mind. I'm by no means, an expert in the department of counseling, but I do suggest you find something to help you with that problem."
She glanced up, just a bit too curiously. "Will you?" She asked.
It took him off guard. Sure, he had no problems with giving advice to the girl, sometimes sneaking in a chat or two when the visit delayed longer, but that was it. That was all there was to it. He had no other reasons to have her around, other than to send her off and to have her mend her own problems.
That was their agreement. Always has been.
"I said something Ackerman, not someone." He glowered, trying to create a decent amount of space between them.
However, she looked unaffected. Tired and beaten— a lost cause that's been casted away on an alienated island.
"I think we both know I'm incapable of doing that." She had so much faith into that statement, that it might as well be true.
"You're so sure? I doubt that as much as you believe in it."
He needed to push. For something. Anything.
"Why?" Her eyes met his. And Levi could agree, it was hard to look away. Maybe because it was Mikasa; the annoying, unresponsive recruit to have ever crossed paths with him. Or simply because, he just couldn't look away from her entirely, in fright, she might just wither away in the dark state of her own oblivion.
"Because you're Mikasa Ackerman of the 104th Trainee Squad. A protegé among others, and a protegé aside from myself. You're capable of just about anything, and don't you fucking dare sit there and try to limit yourself, because you know goddamn well you're just making excuses to give up." His voice was harsh and cold. Barely holding to the thick tension wrapping around them dangerously.
He hit a nerve. A big one apparently, because he was sure as hell not prepared for her to look so pitiful, so… so desperate. It was beyond him, and he didn't know what else he could do. Something in his mind went off, alerting him of what any man should be doing. And he did exact just that. He wrapped the long lengths of his arms around her, like a shelter that wouldn't dare to be breached. He crossed the line; trespassed the boundaries he had set between them.
It wasn't suppose to be anything intimate, or nearly half as comforting as he intended it to be.
But she accepted it easily— barely holding on to anything that would keep her from breaking apart.
"Lev— Captain…" She murmured so, so quietly. "This… is this okay?"
It was a question that neither of the two could answer. Because how could they? What just happened, or what was bound to happen was something utterly unexpected and new to them, and they were just as confused and flustered as any damn person would be in this situation.
So instead of answering her; completely shifted on autopilot, he began to stroke his fingers along the linings of her dark hair, muttering how he needed her to be here, how much her existence meant to them. To him, mostly, despite having said so otherwise. Because he did need her, like she needed him. Perhaps not in the same sense, but it was there, that feeling. Not an infatuation, if he could narrow it down to what the hell he actually felt for her, but as her mentor, as her crutches to help her stand—he felt like a reason. A hope for her, and if that's all it took, then he would take it, granted.
Because maybe just maybe he got used to her company, and her nightly visits to his room.
But what sane man wouldn't? Levi thought, holding her close. She was beautiful, striking, and everything a man could ever need in this broken world.
He wasn't Eren, or anything damn close to worthy as he was; Mikasa knew, and deep down Levi knew as well.
There would always be a gap between them both. Only difference was, Eren was dead now and he was the only closest damn thing to being alive.
And even after hearing about his tragic death, Mikasa never turned to her friends, or to hope. She turned to him. Because he accepted her with open arms, and sure, his sleeping schedule would most likely be ruined for the next few months, but he would get to enjoy it.
If it meant seeing her smile again, then Levi would rather lose a whole year of sleep, because that's just the kind of person he was, through and through, and claimed for.
So don't worry for now, they would be alright. Because they are, after all, 'Humanity's Strongest Duo'
[Fin]
S/N: Reviews are appreciated :)
