"Right!" Dean exhaled, "I'm off". He ran his hand through his hair as he slid his chair from the table.

"Dean," Cas called, reaching for Dean's arm from he sat, "I wish you would let me come with you". Cas gave Dean a pleading, earnest look. Dean sighed and looked down at him.

"Don't give me that look" his said, curtly. "You're not ready, Cas. I can't risk anything happening to you, you know that" he continued, softer this time. He leaned down and cupped Cas' face then kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'll see you later".

Defeated for now, Cas nodded and gave him a small smile. Dean straightened up and looked towards Sam, who was staring intently at his laptop.

"You'll call me if you find anything else, okay" he said to him.

"Yeah of course" Sam replied, without looking up. "And Dean, be careful". This time he eyed his brother, his brows furrowed.

Cas and the Winchesters had been investigating a string of homicidal deaths. The bodies were all young females, who had been missing for three days, before being discovered in dark alleys, with broken bones and bite marks in various places.

At first, they had suspected werewolves but the bite marks looked too human and there had been no traces of animal hair at the sites were the bodies were found. When Cas suggested it was a vampire, the Winchesters had pointed out there was no significant blood loss in the victims. So Dean had volunteered to go investigate the alley were the latest victim had been found whilst Sam and Cas stayed behind to do more research.

Elsewhere, the creature lurked. It flexed its muscles, waiting to strike. It marvelled on its plan that had gone accordingly. Even the wait had not been excruciating because it knew would get what it wanted. There was no possible failure. A slight sound of footsteps reached its ears. It sniffed the air and a cruel smile appeared on its face. He was here.

He was creeping, slowly and careful, but not enough. Because it was stronger, faster and better than him. To enjoy this feeling, it let him wander around for a while. His eyes were darting everywhere, but they never landed where it was watching. When he walked right to where it was, it sprung into his sight.

"What the hell?" he muttered in a voice of disbelief and what it reasoned as fear.

"I've been waiting for you." It said, with a smirk on it's so familiar face. Before he could react, it jumped him. Less than thirty seconds later, his body was slumped on the pavement. It grinned and dragged his body away…

Cas sat at the mahogany table, opposite Sam, eating a cheese burger. Since becoming human, he had taken a strong liking to cheese burgers. At first, Dean had been highly amused by this, as cheese burgers were his favourite too. But after Cas insisted on eating them for every meal, Dean had started making them less, knowing Cas wouldn't drive anywhere to buy them himself.

"Two weeks" Cas murmured as he bit into his burger. Sam glanced up from behind his laptop, his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Cas replied, shyly. "I was just counting when the last time Dean made me a burger was".

Sam snorted and shook his head. "You're human now. You can get heart disease, you know. And you do realise he only made it today because he feels guilty about not letting you go with him, right?"

"Of course. I thought as much. I hope he comes around soon though. I feel too weak." Cas replied, shoving the rest of the burger in his mouth. With nothing to do, he went back to staring at Sam, which was what he had been doing before Sam reminded him Dean had made him dinner.

"Not soon enough" Sam muttered, discomforted by Cas' blue-eyed, unwavering stare. "Cas, don't you have something t-" Sam was saying when Dean's arrival disrupted him.

Sam and Cas looked towards Dean, both relieved, but for different reasons.

"Hello, Dean" Cas said, grinning widely at him. Dean stared at him, appearing lost in thought, before smiling and winking at him. "Hello, Castiel" he replied.

Cas' stomach dropped and he gawked at Dean. He hadn't called him that in years. That name, his name, sounded wrong coming from Dean's lips, it sounded wrong, period. It was the name of "Castiel, The Angel of the Lord". Now he wasn't an angel, and as far as he knew, God, his father, had long abandoned him. He thought Dean understood this. He had introduced himself to Charlie as "Cas" and when Charlie had insisted "Castiel" sounded "out of this world" like him, a look of sadness had clouded his face. Dean had registered this and shot a warning look towards Charlie, who then quickly exclaimed "Cas sounded sexier".

"Uhh, Dean?" Sam's voice snapped Cas back to the present. Sam twitched his head in Cas' direction then back at Dean. His face twisted into a frown. Dean's eyes glazed over for a second, Cas was sure he had imagined it, when he walked towards him, sat on his lap and kissed his cheek. "I missed you" He murmured against Cas' neck. Cas' heart did a triple flip and refused to settle.

"So, did you find anything?" Sam asked, avoiding the intimate scene before him, and bringing Dean's attention back to him. Dean gracefully shifted off Cas' lap and sat on the chair next to him.

"Yes, actually" he replied. "I found traces of sulphur, but no demon insight." Sam pouted and looked over the victims' reports.

"That's strange. At the other places there was nothing. I mean I double checked everywhere but there was nothing at all." Sam was agitated now.

"Maybe you didn't do as well as you thought" Cas pitched in, finally recovering from Dean's sudden, new actions. Sam glared at him and rolled his eyes as Dean laughed. "Very funny, Cas" Sam retorted.

Cas smiled. He always loved making Dean laugh. He lived for the way his enticing lips curled over his teeth and lines formed around his entrancing green eyes, which lit up brightly. So when he eyed Dean and saw the blankness of his eyes, he felt uneasy.

Every muscle in his body tensed up. Something wasn't quite right.

"Well, we're dealing with a demon." Dean declared. "Now, I'm starving!" With that, Dean sauntered off to the kitchen.

Cas thought about asking Sam if Dean seemed strange to him too, but he decided against it. There was an unspoken rule which was Sam would not get involved in Dean and Cas' relationship. This meant if Cas was to talk to Sam about Dean right now, he would have to mention that it was strange for Dean to sit on his lap, because that had never happened, and Sam would have felt uncomfortable.

That's how it was in the Winchester and Cas residence. Dean and Cas did not profusely and intensely display their affection towards each other whenever Sam was present. There were the occasional good morning and goodbye kisses, of course. However, because of their closeness, they subconsciously indicated their relationship.

It was the subtle things they did such as absentmindedly playing with each other's fingers whenever they sat next to each other. Or the way Dean ruffled Cas' hair whenever he walked by or stood behind him. It was through their soul-searching gazes, followed by secretive smiles, because they liked what they saw behind each other's eyes, and how their bodies were always angled towards wherever the other was.

Cas was lost in his reverie when Sam shut his laptop loudly, stood up and after saying "goodnight" went to his room. Following his lead, Cas headed for his and Dean's bedroom and sat on the bed wondering why the thought of Dean was upsetting his stomach so much.

So what if Dean had called him "Castiel"? Maybe he had meant it to be "ironic". Just like sitting on his lap was a joke too. Dean did like to be spontaneous after all.

"Tell you what, man. I think I just ate the entire kitchen" Dean joked, walking into the room then throwing himself on the bed next to Cas. He let out a huge sigh and closed his eyes.

Cas smiled. Now he was sure he had misread everything. Dean looked like Dean. Cas leaned over to Dean's feet and started to remove his shoes for him. Dean startled up and stared at Cas with a look of suspicion on his face. Cas cocked an eyebrow at him and continued to untie the laces on his boots. Dean's features relaxed and he laid back again.

Cas tried not to misjudge this as he went to remove the second shoe. But he couldn't ignore it. Why had Dean reacted like that when Cas always did this after Dean came home from hunting?

"Dean, are you feeling alright?" he finally asked, his voice barely audible. Dean jerked up again.

"Why do you ask?"

"You seem different… I'm still learning human emotions of course, so is it stress because of Metatron and Abaddon or exhaustion maybe it's even sexual frustration, I don't know." He replied, his voice heavy with confusion and concern. Dean shifted, and putting his arms around Cas' waist, he effortlessly pulled him up until he lay right next to him.

"You worry too much." he whispered right into Cas' ear then tickled his earlobe with his tongue. Cas sighed. That was true. He did have severe anxiety about everything concerning Dean. It was a trait, amongst many others, he had carried from being an Angel.

"You're right, I'm sure it's nothing." he said. Turning his face towards Dean, he closed his eyes, ready to kiss him.

Meanwhile, he finally stirred awake. He was sure his eyes were wide open but he couldn't see anything in the pitch black darkness. The smell of his own blood flooded his nostrils and he tried to move his hands to figure out where he was bleeding from. But his hands were tied up behind what felt like a wooden pole, and after trying to shift his legs, he found out his ankles were tied up too. His brain finally registered his position. He was tied down on a horizontal pole and he was slowly bleeding to death from a deep gash on the side of his stomach. For the first time in a while, he feared dying. Tears escaped his eyes and he bit his lip in pain and frustration. Death seemed imminent then. But he wouldn't give up, no. He had to believe he could be saved. Before he could stop himself, he bellowed the named etched on his heart.

Cas' lips were closing on Dean's when his eyes fluttered open and he caught himself staring right into pale, silver eyes. He sprung from the bed and clenched his fists. "You're not Dean." He confirmed to himself, and to the creature standing before him, appearing like Dean.

"Cas, please. What has gotten into you?" Dean's baffled-sounding voice said.

Anger built up from the core of Cas and for a second, he felt he could sprout his wings. "What did you do to him?" his voice was deep and gravelly, his stance ready for a fight. This rage he felt was one he hadn't felt before. It was murderous and pure; it was crippling and scorching.

"Cas, baby, come on. It's m-" Cas' fist collided with Dean's mouth before he could finish talking. He punched whatever creature was taking Dean's form over and over but it seemed to do little damage. "Sam!" Cas called out before it got the upper hand and gave a Cas blow that knocked him to the floor.

Sam, gun in hand, came running towards their room. Tentatively opening the door, he found Cas on the floor, blood pouring from his nostrils with Dean standing over him. Dean looked over at Sam, except his eyes were glowing silver. Sam glowered, raised his gun and pulled the trigger.

He huffed, staring at the creature as it winced at the bullet wound on the side of its stomach. He shot at it again, this time aiming for each leg until it hunched over and fell to the floor, panting. Sam moved over to Cas, helping him up.

"It won't stay down for long, here," Sam said, handing the gun over to Cas, "don't kill it yet". He ran out of the room. Cas eyed the creature sprawled on the floor still panting, but seemingly getting stronger again. He shot at its feet. It hissed at him. "Are you sure you want to do that, sweetheart. I mean, I thought you loved me" it sneered, rolling its eyes back to the same hue as Dean's.

Cas was white hot with fury. He wanted nothing but to not see it take the form of the man he loved then use that against him. But he knew he couldn't kill it. Not when he didn't know where his Dean was.

Sam came running back, dragging a long chain behind him. He knelt in front of the creature and punched it until a loud snap of a breaking bone was heard and it shut its eyes and went silent.

"We're dragging it out to the dungeon!" he told Cas. Together they wrapped the fake Dean's limbs in chains and dragged him towards the dungeon. Once there, they unchained and sat him on a steel chair. They fastened each hand on the cuffs of the chair and each leg on the cuffs on the floor.

"It's a Shape-shifter. Shifter for short" Sam said to Cas before jogging out of the room. Cas watched the Shifter. It suddenly jerked up, sputtering a tooth out. Upon seeing Cas, it smiled a smile so malevolent it looked out of place on Dean's face.

"Ah, Castiel. Ex-angel of the Lord. Boy, the thoughts he has on you. They're something, alright." The Shifter uttered, his eyes glazed. He rolled them back to Cas, who was shaking in anger. "So, anything you're itching to know?" Cas didn't respond. He stared coolly at it. "Fine. I'll tell you this, sometimes when you're asleep, Dean watches you… Wait, you might actually like that. Okay, did you know Dean regrets how much he loves you?" Cas didn't react. "No, seriously. He sometimes wishes he didn't feel anything for you. Because you make him weak." This time Cas flinched. The Shifter noticed and smirked. "So you are listening to me. I was beginning to think you were too angry to hear me. Well, so you make Dean weak and you scare him. You scare him because you always leave him." Cas pursed his lips. "He doesn't know how long you two will last, in fact, he is convinced you will do something stupid again. You are not going to trust him when you really should and you will mess up." The Shifter frowned, digging deeper into Dean's thoughts. "Well, he thinks the sex is good so there's something to smile about. Oh and he never really forgave you for anything you have done." the Shifter finished, with a look of triumph as Cas' face contorted in pain.

"Where is Dean?" Cas shouted, punching the Shifter on its mouth. The shape-shifter merely spit blood out and cackled.

Sam paced in, carrying his laptop on one hand and a box of silver blades on the other. He set his laptop on the table nearby and passed a blade to Cas. Cas stabbed at the inner wrist of the Shifter and it unleashed a deafening scream.

"Where is he?" Cas asked once more. He felt an inch better now that he could inflict real pain to it.

"Dead" it spattered out. Cas twisted the blade, still stuck in its wrist, it squeezed its eyes shut and screamed once more.

"I'm trying to track his GPS but I'm not getting anything!" Sam called out to Cas in frustration. He typed furiously on his laptop. "Sewers!" he exclaimed. "Now if I can get the underground map of where the last victim was found, we'll know". He sounded confident in himself.

Cas could not allow himself to think about what state Dean was in. He concentrated on his anger and his desire to inflict pain. The Shifter was now glaring at Sam.

"Sam, I know you're bitter because you're no longer the most important person in Dean's life" the Shifter said, before screaming in pain as Cas stabbed the other wrist. Sam ignored this comment, his eyes remained glued to the screen.

"Why him?" Cas asked, although he understood that the Winchesters were a target to monsters because of their business.

"There's so much glory in the idea of killing a Winchester. But, in this case, because of what they did to our father of course. They killed our creator and that kind of pissed some of us off."

Cas froze. He knew it wasn't the Winchesters who had killed their Alpha. No. It was Crowley because of his and Cas' mission to find purgatory. He felt nauseated as he realised it was his actions that were costing Dean's life. Again.

"You're wrong. I did." Cas' replied, retrieving one of the knives from the Shifter's wrist and aiming it directly below its heart. This time its shrill was cut off as it struggled to breathe. Cas crouched until his lips were right against the Shifter's. "Do you feel that? That's the blade tickling your heart. One flick, and you're headed straight to purgatory. Now where is he?", his words came out as a low hiss. When he stood up and stared, the Shifter's eyes were glowing silver once more and a look of terror was plastered on Dean's face.

"I found something. There's a pipe system here with three possible entrances." Sam, said. Cas continued to watch the Shifter. "Entrance A, B or C. Which is it?" Sam yelled at the Shifter.

"B" Cas replied instead. "His eyes darkened when you mentioned that one".

As promised, Cas stared intently at those silver eyes as he flicked his wrist and stabbed right at its heart.

Dean's breath came out in huffs and puffs. He kept slipping in and out of consciousness as he bled. He couldn't believe after everything he had been through, he would go out like this. He wanted to cry but he feared that would speed up his demise. Thoughts of his time in hell pierced his mind. Was he going back there? No, he had to believe he didn't deserve to go there. Not again. He was slipping back into unconsciousness when he heard a familiar voice.

"Dean?" it was low, scared and disembodied but Dean knew, although it was impossible, he had heard his call, he knew he had saved him once more.

"Cas" he whispered into the darkness. He was vaguely aware of a scramble of footsteps, followed by bright light. He struggled to see through his half-open eyes.

"It's okay, Dean. You'll be alright" Cas' voice was right by him this time. He felt his warm hands caress his face, as Sam cut the ropes that tied him.

Three days after Dean's release from the hospital, Cas was watching him drink the coffee he had just made him.

"Cas, I'm not going to break, okay. I'm fine, really." Dean said for the tenth time that morning. Cas had been fussing over Dean since they rescued him. Sam had had to drag him away from the nurses, who told him he couldn't watch over Dean all night long, as he had been about to threaten them. As soon as Dean was awake, Cas had asked him endlessly if he needed anything. Dean had responded by holding on to Cas' hand.

"This could have been avoided if you let me go with you, you know" Cas stated.

"Well when your own face jumps you out of nowhere, you can't react as well as you could" Dean argued. He sighed and set his mug on the table. "But you're right. I guess you can hunt with us now".

Cas beamed at this, but his face quickly fell. Dean's eyebrows arched in confused.

"I just feel responsible" Cas finally admitted. He looked down at his hands as he said this. Although Dean had already told him that whatever bad thing the Shifter had said, wasn't true; it was all twisted. He still struggled to accept it.

"Don't do this to yourself. Please," Dean pleaded, taking Cas' hands into his. He gave him a smile of reassurance. "The past doesn't matter".

Looking into Dean's eyes, Cas' anxieties about the Shifter's words evaporated. He saw nothing but honest, genuine love there. He was aware that Dean had his doubts, but so did he. There were times he thought Dean deserved better than him. But this was to be expected. They had such a tainted past. However, Dean was wrong. The past did matter.

It mattered in how it influenced how solid and strong their relationship was. They had seen each other at their best, when they were strong and invincible, right through to their worst when they felt the burden of the world on top of them it made them want to quit. Cas believed just as well as he fell in love with Dean's resilience, he also loved the vulnerability Dean possessed. If the experience with the Shifter had taught Cas anything, it was to trust his "gut instinct". Nothing could ever convince him Dean regretted anything they shared.

"When did you realise it wasn't me anyway?" Dean asked.

"Well, you sat on my lap, kissed my cheek and told me you missed me" Cas answered, smiling playfully. He laughed out loud as he watched Dean's face twist into disbelief followed by disgust.

"That is the cheesiest thing I can ever imagine" he groaned. But he joined in on Cas' laughter. With their hands intertwined, they laughed until their eyes watered.