A.N. Hey, I'm just experimenting in this genre. If you don't know already, I'm a huge Batman fan. Actually, I'm a huge Joker fan. I was reading one of my favorite fanfictions, one that I've read over and over with what she has so far, called The Doctors and the Nurses Adore me so (or TDATNAMS) and it inspired me to write a Batman fic. Okay, you also might want to know that this is post-DK but he didn't get captured and the Joker actually escaped the clutches of the FBI. So here we go…..(btw, I've only stolen the idea of putting quotes or lyrics at the top of chapters from her but nothing else, I swear)

"We are strong but we don't belong;

Born in this world as it all falls apart."

-Young, Hollywood Undead

"Sir, I've found him! I've found him!" Young Bradley Hampton screamed and jammed the red alarm button down with his thumb, causing the entire police station to ring loudly with the blaring noise. The twenty-three year old had started working for Gotham Police Station only two months back when the Joker, Gotham's new dangerous criminal, had blown up the hospital his little sister was residing at. She had been in vital condition after her relapse in lung cancer and the moving of her body into the truck and then from the truck to another bed had messed with her system and ultimately killed her. Tammy had only been four years old. Bradley (or Brad, as he was known around the station) shrieked louder and unnecessarily pounded the button harder has he remembered Tammy's funeral where he had to watch her frail body be put into the ground. Jim Gordon rushed to his side.

"What is it now, Lieutenant?" Gordon asked exasperatedly, shutting off the alarms and running his fingers through his short and graying hair.

"I've found him!" He squealed and jabbed his long index finger towards the computer screen.

"Yes, yes, I got the memo. Do ya mind telling me exactly who you found?" The middle aged man snapped, bringing Bradley out of his excited daze and back into work mode.

"The Joker", he whispered as if the name itself would bring Gotham's latest criminal to the room.

"We know where the Joker is, Hampton. We need a way of catching him without getting our, or anyone else's, heads blown off." Jim stated slowly as if he was talking to a child. "Now I know the whole Tammy thing has gotten you razzed but ya need to get your hea-."

"No!-I mean, yes but-", Brad let out a frustrated growl and yanked the monitor in Gordon's direction. "Just look."

Jim sighed but glanced at the picture anyway. It was a family portrait with a young woman, in her early twenties, with a very, very round and very, very pregnant belly standing in front of a slightly older man, probably late twenties. At first glance, this portrait would seem normal but anyone who even took a second longer looking at it would notice the odd qualities about the man. There were two badly hidden and grotesque scars running most of the way up both of his cheeks, pulling his lips slightly up into a forever smile. His mostly dirty blonde hair had a green tinge to it and he was wearing a touch of red lipstick, nothing too evident but very much there. Both the woman and her husband were dressed from head to toe in plum purple. Gordon grabbed the mouse and scrolled up to check the date of the photograph and the name of the couple. The portrait had only been taken a week before then.

"Well, Bradley, get your gun. We're paying Mr. Evan Parker a little visit."

Alexandra Parker had been wiping down the kitchen table after dinner when someone knocked loudly on the door. She took a confused look at the clock, which read 12:35am, and wondered if it was possibly broken. Never the less, she couldn't keep whoever it was waiting so Alexandra waddled over to the door of her and her husband's small apartment and opened it. She took in a small gasp as she saw the faces of two police officers looking into her green eyes solemnly. From the tenseness of his arm Alexandra could tell that the young brunette was holding a gun behind his back. If only she hadn't had been pregnant then she could have taken out both men in a split second and killed them if needed. Damn these children! She mentally scolded her bulging stomach full of twins.

"Um, I'm sorry….did you need something?" Alex greeted in her most innocent and sugary sweet voice. The older one of the officers stepped forward slightly and held out his hand, which she shook hesitantly.

"Is this the home of Evan Parker?" The older man asked her with the same serious look on his face. Alex dropped his hand and let hers dangle lazily to the side while fighting back a smile. This man was so serious and it was hilarious! At the moment, Alexandra wouldn't mind if they wanted her husband because he was some escaped convict who used to rape small children. Okay, maybe that wasn't entirely true but she was never the kind to care much about what her husband did. Evan was unemployed, scarred, and leaving every night; probably to ravage some blond prostitute. There were only two rules in their small apartment that she always enforced: no hitting the Wife and the Wife is always right even if she's terribly wrong. If he wanted to cheat on her with a one-night stand girl then so be it as long as she could pretend that he really was off with his buddies going bowling like he always told her he was doing then she was fine and dandy.

"Last time I checked it was. Or did he run off with your wife?" Alexandra asked with faux concern and slapped her hand dramatically to her forehead. "Oh, Evan, not again!" She laughed but stopped as soon as she saw the gray-haired officer's disgusted look. Geez, can't people take a joke around here? "Yes, he lives here."

"Mrs. Parker...you may want to take a seat." Alex almost laughed at this statement. Officer Serious was expecting his news to blow her head off. Poor Officer.

"No thanks"

"I really think you'll want to, Mrs. Parker."

"And I really think that I won't want to. Honey", Alexandra started with a compassionate look. He was so adorably ignorant. "My Mom came home every night with a new Daddy and a new plastic ring to signify the marriage. I've had everyone for a Daddy from billionaires to Chuck the Chicken from the Bucket 'O' Wings. I think police coming to my house and telling me some untold secret about my husband is like the neighbor across the hall coming to tell me the latest gossip. I. Will. Be. Fine."

The older officer, the only one who seemed to be capable of doing anything, closed his eyes for a moment before nodding his head in a "your way, then" and regaining his calm, cool, and important composure. Yet another reason why this man was comedy gold to Alex. As she fought back a giggle the cop started talking,

"Alexandra Genvieve Parker, I regret to inform you that your husband is, in fact, a prime suspect to be a man that has been murdering by the masses and being a major arsonist." Green eyes locked with the officer's gray ones and she gave him the coldest look possible. How dare he use her full name. She hated her full name.

"Oh no", She said, the way she said it made her voice sound as if she was choking back tears instead of the urge to kill. "Which one, then? Lemme guess, he's the Crocodile Man!" This time Alex couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud nor did she want to.

"This is a serious matter!" The second one piped up. So he can speak! Alexandra mused with a faint smirk. She had been beginning to think that this man was some sort of robot that they had made up just for the purpose of making the real officers look good to have their own deputy.

"Look, we think your husband may be", the officer leaned in right next to her ear and whispered. "The Joker."

Never before was Alexandra more elated or frightened in her life. The Joker had fascinated her but he scared her more then anything. Who in their right mind wouldn't be scared of the demented clown that blew up hospitals and ships? Not that she was in her right mind. Having escaped an asylum in California when she was seventeen and changing her last name probably meant that she was still mentally crazy. That and the fact that there were still monsters following her where ever she went. Of course, even Evan knew nothing about this so he always thought she was just being silly. Alex was entitled to some secrets of her own, right?

"Please get your husband for me. We need to take him in for questioning." Officer Serious told her. Immediately Alex hardened her heart towards this man. Please or not he had just told her to do something. No one ever told her to do anything without being seriously injured. She put on her fakest smile and nodded,

"I'll be right back." She slammed the door closed and ran towards her bedroom. Alexandra would beat that man for never telling her who he was. Of course, the scars should have given her a clue into it but still. She threw open the door and startled the tall man who was currently watching television. Alex was planning on warning him to hide and/or beating him to a pulp. What happened was none of the above. As soon as the door slammed open the actuality of her situation settled in her brain and her knees gave out from underneath her body. Alexandra opened her mouth in a perfect "O" and forced her voice, attempting to scream, but nothing came. The world in front of her eyes blurred and spun. Grotesque monsters with peeling, oozing skin and blood covered faces stepped out from where they were hiding to come get her. They took her breath and her heart beat loudly in her ears. Alex thrashed wildly to keep them away. Her head something hard. There was something wet pooling around her.

The monsters left.

Sharp pain.

Black.

"When do you think she'll be out?" Bradley asked, holding back the whining tone that was threatening to leak into his voice. Gordon looked at him exasperatedly and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Bradley, if I had just told you that your wife was about to be arrested and asked you to bring her to me would you come quietly."

"I don't have a wife, sir." Another sigh erupted from Jim as he shook his head, still studying the ceiling.

"It was a hypothetical question. She's the wife of the Joker and she's carrying his children-"

"Children?" Brad asked; brows furrowed in confusion.

"Twins; now shut up. She's the wife of the Joker and carrying his children. Do you really think that she's going to come out and hand him over?" Gordon asked his oblivious Lieutenant.

"So she's not coming out?" A groan came from Gordon and he made eye contact with Brad, motioning for him to watch closely. He lifted his foot, reared back, and came crashing into the door. It fell and Gordon raised his eyebrows, as if silently telling him "see?".

Brad's cheeks flushed pink and they both raced towards the room down the hallways where they assumed Mrs. Parker went into. The door was ajar and Gordon peeked through the tiny gap that had perfect view of the small bedroom. The window was wide open and the green curtains were whooshing about in the wind. The pair quickly opened the door but Bradley knew there was something wrong the second he stepped into the room. This assumption was most likely brought on by the fact that the second Brad Hampton stepped into the room the carpet squelched and his shoe got unusually wet. The young man looked down at his soiled foot and gasped in horror before instinctively jumping away.

"What the Hell are you jumping around for, Hampton?" Jim snapped at the Lieutenant who seemed to be prone to making unnecessary noise by the whimpering he was making now. Wait, why was his officer whimpering? Gordon followed Brad's gaze to the floor. Actually, to the giant puddle of the floor; the puddle of blood. There was enough blood around the entire room that someone could easily have said that a sheep was slaughtered in here. Most of the dark fluid was located at the entrance of the door but it dribbled towards the window. Gordon slowly stepped next to the blood and followed it. Once he reached the window Jim inspected the sill carefully. Sure enough, there was blood smeared on the window frame too. Something about the blood made Gordon want to throw up. If this was an accident he'd be damned. Not that he wasn't anyway. Hampton was already passed out in the hallway and Jim just gripped the side of the window. All these killings needed to stop. It was up to him and Bradley to fix Gotham with Batman gone. Tears slid down his stubbly cheeks when he remembered his son. Suddenly a thought came to him with such an impact that he jolted away from the window. Everyone had something that made them brake; for Brad it was Tamera, for Jim it was his wife and son, and the Joker would logically have one too. As much as it pained him to realize it, the Joker was just a man. A demented man but a man none the less. There must be something...

Evan Parker sped down the highway towards his "home away from home", otherwise known as the unofficial alleyway hospital. Okay, so it was more like a small apartment with one or two people that had bachelor degrees and sewed up a few different people but it was the best he had right now. Living a life of crime had given Evan a very keen sense of hearing so when the officer's came up to the door he had already packed half the things that he and his wife really needed and was planning on heading out the door. That was before she passed out of the floor and before she flailed her arms and legs like a madwoman and started bleeding from God knows where. The beat-up pick-up truck that Evan had stolen pulled up in from of a crumbling apartment complex and Evan quickly preformed a change from Evan Parker to the Joker. The change wasn't hard considering he had done it many other times before but Joker was never as stressed out as he was now that his wife was practically dead. He kicked open the door and went to get Alex out of the backseat. Grabbing her ankles Joker tugged her half-way out of the car before throwing her over his shoulder and running up the flights of steps.

Joker didn't even bother with knocking on the door or even opening it, in fact. Instead he did what every worried mass-murdering, arsonist, mentally ill man would do: he kicked the door down. The main "doctor", Jacklyn, barely flinched and lifted her head up slowly to take in the appearance of her most frequent costumer. What she didn't expect was him to be holding his unconscious, bleeding, pregnant wife in his arms. The red-head rose from the couch professionally but in a hasty manner.

"What the Hell, Joker? Get in a fight about the checking account this time or was it about another woman...again?" Jacklyn may have sounded like she was teasing but her tone and facial expression was dead serious. She had only seen Joker's wife once before and it was completely by accident. Two years back the Joker had convinced her that he was single and took her to his house for a "completely and totally amazing one night stand", in his words. While they were in the middle of, ahem, getting it on Alexandra got home early from her friend's house and caught them in bed. Since then Jacklyn had only cleaned and sewed up Joker professionally and sent him out the door. The purple hair was gone but Jacklyn could tell that the gorgeous brunette in Joker's arms was the same wife that caught him cheating with Jacklyn. This was gonna be fun.

A.N. So a bit OOC and a bit short but I PROMISE the next ones will be better. Comments appreciated!