Kingdom Karaoke

aka

"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone."

Chapter One - LANGUAGE.

Pairings: Hinted AkuRoku, XemSai, XigDem, VexDem, and VexMar.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts II or any of these songs... I do, however, own Xaldin's puns, and Xigbar's booze. The Karaoke machine belongs to Zexion.

Inspiration: My own KH Karaoke AMV, everyone elses, and my love of Demyx. He's the greatest.

Enjoy!

--

No one in Organization XIII was crazy about the latest way to pass the time in Castle Oblivion. This was half because it was Demyx's idea, and half because Demyx was the only member of the Organization that was any good at singing.

In any case... all XIII members were packed into the Recreational Room of Eternal Procrastination, and Demyx had set up a karaoke machine with the help of Larxene. They were the only two who were going to enjoy this.

"What the Hell is that?" Roxas asked, as he watched Numbers II, III, and X drag a few large barrels and cases into the Rec Room. Xigbar actually wasn't carrying anything; his cases were levitating, thanks to his power pulling the gravity from the air around them.

"This... is quality booze from the world of Port Royal, little dude," Xigbar said with a smirk wider than Axel or Demyx could ever have managed.

"Oh..." Roxas said softly.

"Yeah, we raided a pirate ship and looted it," The Freeshooter said proudly.

"HELL YEAH!" Axel shouted, jumping up onto his chair. Only Xigbar and Luxord would raid a pirate ship... Xaldin was there just to do the heavy lifting, probably.

Where the Hell were Lexaeus and Zexion, anyways? The room wasn't that big!

Oh, wait. Hiding from Demyx. Demyx was the one neophyte that they tolerated, because of his obediance, but they weren't pleased about this karaoke night thing. Elaeus had apparently suffered from severe stage fright (weird, 'cuz he was such a big guy!) and no one knew if such phobias carried on to a Nobody. And Zexion... well, Zexion didn't like karaoke. A bunch of people singing like drunken idiots (and it looked like quite a few of them were really going to BE drunken idiots) didn't appeal to him.

"Okay? Okay! Is everyone here?" Demyx asked excitedly, speaking into a microphone.

"Yeah! We're all here, Dem!" Xigbar shouted at him... The Melodious Nocturne was standing on the small stage, which was about a meter from the Freeshooter.

"AND WE'VE GOT BOOZE!" Axel shouted.

Roxas shook his head, and much to everyone's surprise, Vexen and Xemnas made their way to one of the kegs.

"Open it. NOW," Xemnas commanded.

"Sure thing, Superior dude!" Xigbar agreed, and began tapping it.

"Okay, cool! We can get started with the first Organization Karaoke night!" Number IX exclaimed. "So, who wants to go first?"

There was silence, and then finally, Axel hopped down from his chair. He made his way towards the stage. Demyx handed the pyro the microphone and said, "Break a leg!"

Axel flipped through the tracks, the entire room silent except for the sound of 'quality booze' coming out of the keg, and then glasses clinking together as Xigbar, Xaldin and Luxord prepared to get smashed.

"Just pick one!" Larxene hissed impatiently. In her hand's, to no one surprise, was a camcorder. Or a video camera. Whatever you like calling it. Demyx calls it 'that thing that records stuff so Larxene can make me do her missions'.

"Alright, alright..." the Flurry of Dancing Flames said with a wave of his hand. The sounds of an acoustic guitar began to flow out of the surround sound system.

Axel's broad grin was now directed at Saix as he began to sing.

"She's part girl, she's part boy. She's got parts everyone can enjoy."

Roxas's first thought was, 'Okay... this isn't gonna end well..'

"She's got more, she's got less. She's got her manhood tucked in her dress."

Demyx, Marluxia and Larxene giggled, and Xigbar, Xaldin and Luxord quickly downed some more drinks so that they couldn't. Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion were bemused... and Xemnas and Saix weren't pleased.

"Is she a mister, or is she a miss? Does she stand up when she's taking a pi--"

"LANGUAGE, Number VIII," the Superior warned him.

"She's my little girl, yea, she's my little guy. When I try to please I get poked in the eye."

Larxene nearly fell out of her chair and Demyx and Marluxia were holding each other, shrieking in mirth.

"She wears lace and she wears flannel. She watches football and the Lifetime Channel."

"AXEL," Saix stood up, his features contorted into a face only Demyx and Xigbar had seen before... during the infamous, 'I Bet Saix Likes Pink, Too' Incident. From that day forward, Xigbar had a few new scars and a pretty eyepatch to show all of his friends! Story short, Saix does not like pink, and he has never had naughty relations with anyone other than the Superior. (xD)

"What's that bulge under her nightie? It must be hermaphrodite!"

Axel pantomimed playing an electric guitar, and even Roxas smiled. Saix growled audibly.

"Number VIII, get down from there, now. Drink something," Xemnas said, wondering if alcohal could set the pyro's insides aflame.

"SOMEONE ELSE SING!" Larxene yelled from the floor. Demyx and Marluxia were still reeling with laughter at the thought of Saix in dresses and nighties and LACE.

"Alright... Let's Do It!" Xigbar announced.

Demyx immediately jumped up, and accompanied Number II and the Gambler of Fate to the stage.

"Listen up, y'all, 'cuz this is it! The beat that I'm banging is the next shi--," he sang.

"LANGUAGE!" Xemnas roared, but the booze was getting to him, so it kind of sounded like, 'Lingwish'.

Demyx chimed in. "Demi-licious definition make them boys go loco. They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo."

Larxene hooted, and Marluxia screamed, "TAKE IT OFF!"

Xigbar glared at him.

"You could see me, you can't squeeze me.
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy.
I got reasons why I tease 'em.
Boys just come and go like seasons."

All Axel had to say was, "What boys?"

Xaldin smiled appreciatively, and had to pun. "Buuuurned."

"Demi-licious, so delicious!
But I ain't promiscuous.
And if you was suspicious,
All that shit is fictitious."

"There are adolescents in the room!" Xemnas shouted, but again... slurred... so they probably couldn't undershtand him.

"No, it's cool," Roxas said, enjoying the trio's performance.

"I meant Zekshion," he slurred.

Zexion had 'Death to the Drunk' written in his eye.

"I blow kisses.
That puts them boys on rock, rock.
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got,
" he sang.

"Two people isn't a line, Demyx," Axel commented.

"It's a bigger line than your no-people," Vexen said dryly.

Xaldin was a fan of puns. "Want some ice for that burn?"

"Hag..." the redhead muttered under his breath.

"So delicious!"

"It's hot, hot!" Luxord sang in the background.

"So delicious!" Well, Xigbar would know, wouldn't he, Axel thought.

"I put them boys on rock, rock!" Well, maybe he put Xigbar on rock, ro--

"So delicious!"

"They wanna taste of what I got!" No, no one wanted a taste of what Luxord had.

"I'm Demi-licious!"

"Get off the stage, NOW NUMBER IX, before I turn you into a DUSK!" Xemnas threatened, feeling a massive migraine coming on.

"Hangover?" Xaldin guessed.

"Marly's turn!" Demyx said, happily jumping from the stage and into Xigbar's waiting arms.

--

Lol, I'm having too much fun with this. I'd like to take this at least two more chapters, but I won't continue without reviews. Review meh!