Prologe:
"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked snaking his hand around my waist. I swallowed. I looked into his bright blue eyes before answering "Forever, I want you forever." He smiled my crooked smile. He placed his finger under my chin and tilted it upwards. He kissed me like he never had done before. I want to stay like this forever
…...
Alice point of view:
I pulled my duffel bag into my usual dorm with my two best friends. Summer camp. GREAT. Notice the hint of sarcasm. I placed it down and made my way into the bathroom. Great Jetlag. I come from California and now im here in Texas. I looked in the mirror to see a girl who was not happy with her body, or her life. I have jet black hair which flows down my back. My skin is pale and my green eyes stand out. Im 5'4 which is tiny and my body frame is non-existent, yeah I've got boobs but not big enough ones. Well I think. I quickly pull my hair through a bobble then unpack my bag. "Aliceeeeeeeeeeee Helpppppppppppppppppp" I placed my toothbrush on the side then walked into Bella's room to see what was going on. Bella's body was hunched over her suitcase. Thick tears were falling across her pale face. I ran over to her and crouched down to her. "Bells, what's wrong?" She looked at me before running a hand across her nose. She hiccupped then told me "Ed, Ed. Ed Edward's taking me out, and I have nothing to wear" she sniffed again. I laughed, that was funny. I rummaged in her suitcase before pulling out red halter neck top and black jeans. "Wear some red heels and you'll look drop dead gorgeous." She quickly thanked me before going to the bathroom. Edward is my brother. He and Bella have recently been going out, don't get me wrong, she's my best friend and im glad my brother found someone but enough with the pda. There constantly touching and kissing and holding hands and it just gets too much. I finally had finished unpacking when Rosalie burst in the door with mascara stains and a happy smile on her face , wait what happy?
"Rose are you okay?" I asked, she sat on the bed before sighing "My brothers coming" Bella then rushed out of the bathroom. "Looking hot bells "I told her. She blushed "Thank you, Jasper's coming back?" Bella looked at Rose with eager eyes. Jasper? I pulled my tank top down before settling down to listen to the story. "Well, He said that he's coming back to camp and that we should have missed him" Bella and rose squealed. "Wait, guys, I don't get it?" I said. Rosalie looked at me then explained "Alice, Jasper's my brother, he went on vacation cus he and his girlfriend of what like two years split up and he sorta took it really hard on himself. He started you know? 0053elf-harming. He couldn't think straight, he wouldn't talk or eat or anything. I got really worried about him. His girlfriend was a total bitch and has totally fucked up my brother's life, but he's back now and is coming to summer camp. Bella was his bestfriend before he left so ya know?" I just nodded. He self-harmed? Rosalie is gorgeous and im totally jealous of my bestfriend. I met Rosalie in my last year of high school. Her brother must have left? Rosalie has long blonde hair, longer than mine, bright blue eyes and perfect boobs. Every boy I know has wanted to either date or fuck her. But she always said no because she like's Bella's brother Emmett, but he doesn't know cus he's stupid! I walked into my bathroom and hitched up the sleeve of the cardie I was wearing to reveal the self-inflicted marks I had made.
I thought he loved me, I thought he needed me, but obviously I was wrong, nothing's right anymore, everything keeps getting complicated, why can't they be easy? Why my heart? Why did he have to choose me? I feel like everything's falling apart. Fuck fuck fuck!
I withdrew a blade from my back pocket before pressing it down to meet my skin. I drew the blade against the soft flesh hoping that it would make me real again. I felt the blade dig deeper beneath my fingers. I felt the blood run across my arm but I didn't care, I never do. I dragged it over again and over and over again until my arm was completely drenched im my bodily fluids. I placed the blade in my bag and washed my arm under the hot water. It stung. It hurt like a bitch slap. I looked down to see my grey cardie's arm was now saturated in my blood. I wrenched the cardigan of and flung it on the floor then grabbed my black hoodie to cover up my arms. I checked my face in the mirror to see it had gone red and blotchy. I splashed some cold water on my face before drying it. I took a few heavy breathes before picking my cardie up and leaving the room. I took my dirty cardie and placed it at the bottom of my bag. I found out Rosalie was taking a bath and Bella had gone out with Edward. I walked outside and down into the grounds. I sat beneath an old oak tree. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them close. I closed my eyes and let the thoughts come rushing into my head. The tears began to flow freely from my eyes. I quickly swiped my hand over my eyes to get rid of the tears. "Oh look, if it isn't frigid Alice" I looked up to see Lauren Mallory overlooking me with Jessica Stanley on her right. They were dressed in their usual slutty attire. Their faces were turned into a sneer. They went to the same high school as me Rosalie and Bella and liked to make every living day a nightmare. "What the fuck do you want?" Lauren laughed her cold hard laugh. "Stand up Cullen!" I did what I was told, I had learnt before not to disobey orders. "I think it's time you learnt your lesson Frigid" I screwed my eyes up to not feel the pain. Punch after punch after punch. I waited till it was over, oh wait a kick, and there gone. I pulled myself into a ball and cried. After my little cry, well more of an understatement. I picked myself up and trailed back to my dorm, I found out Rosalie had gone to dinner with Emmett. I pulled my clothes off and dragged myself into the shower to inspect the damage. Busted lip, Black eye, two bruised ribs and a broken finger. How was I supposed to explain this to everyone? I washed my body until it stung. I got into bed and curled into the foetal position. Closing my eyes I began to cry again. That night I cried myself to sleep.
…
Jaspers point of view:
Why did I agree? Why did I say I was going to stupid fucking summer camp? My head was reeling as I took in my appearance in the mirror. My blonde curls formed a halo around my head. My eyes which used to be a beautiful blue but now they were dull glassy lifeless things. My face was pale and clammy with a sunken complexion. I was nothing compared to my former self. I ran my hand through my matted curls before settling my stuff on my new bed. I unpacked my clothes lightly placing them in the drawers. I guess you better call Rose? I stuffed the empty bag in the wardrobe before pulling my cell out of my back pocket. I dialled her number and waited for her to answer. "Yeah what?" she sounded angry or pissed off? "Jeez thanks Rose nice way to talk to your brother?" I heard her gasp "Oh sorry Jasper, but it's you?" I chuckled "Yeah Rose, it's really me" "Oh Jasper, I've missed you so much, Where are you?" Ha trust rose to be just like momma, "Um just got in my dorm room, why?" I heard her breathe heavily down the phone. "Oh right, well I'll leave you to get settled then come see you in the morning if that's okay?" I laughed again "Of course you can and Rose I missed you too." I heard her softly sigh down the other end. "Okay, bye Jasper, Love you" I hung up. I never said those words to anyone anymore. I sighed; I hated how I was now. I pulled up the sleeves to my cotton jumper to reveal the jagged shapes on my arm. Each cut and slice had been made out of spite and hate and I hated myself for letting her do this to me. Im not going to, im not going to do it, im not, im not, im not! I grabbed my jacket before leaving out the door. I needed to get out of there. If I didn't who knows what could have happened? I walked around the lake for a bit trying to calm myself down. What the fuck had Maria done to me? Urghhhhhhhh. I was slowly considered going back to my room when I saw her. Her long black hair was over her knees; her head was to the right, her eyes closed. I saw a small tear trickle down her eyelashes before she wiped it away with her hand. I was about to approach her when two girls stood in front of her blocking her from view. On the right was the one girl, her dirty brown hair was tied into a ponytail , she wore a tank top pulled low to reveal her bra and shorts that just covered her ass, the one on the left was even worse. She wore a tie top than showed of her flabby tummy and a skirt which showed off her black thong. On both of the girls feet were 6inch heels. I stood and watched the whole scene play out. I couldn't hear what's was being said but I could see she was terrified. She stood up. She was tiny, Bout 5'4 and im 6'4 so yeah tiny. That's when they started punching and kicking her. She made no efforts to fight back, just stood there and took all the pain until they were gone. She then curled herself into a ball before crying. I wanted to run over there and help her, but I didn't. Instead I followed the other two girls "Hey wait up" I shouted after them. They both turned. The sluttier one walked up to me and draped her body across mine. "Why hello there, im Lauren and that (She pointed to the other girl) is Jessica" I pushed her off me "Why were you beating that girl up?" I asked, concern laced in my voice. Her face upturned into a grimace "Oh her, just teaching her a lesson, you see FRIGID ALICE is a bit of a nobody and she needed to know where her place was" I turned and walked away. Alice, Alice, Alice, her name was Alice. I felt so bad for not helping her. She was defenceless and I just stood there watching. I ran back to where it had happened only to find she was gone. God I was such a prick. I walked to my room, feeling truly depressed. I could have stopped it; she wouldn't be so badly hurt. I am such a dick. I slammed the door behind me truly hating myself. I flopped down on my bed and contemplated why I was such and asshole; 1: I fell in love , 2: I let her walk all over me, 3 : I let that poor innocent girl get badly hurt and did nothing about it, 4: I was still self-harming even though I had told Rose I had stopped. I grunted in my own frustration. Why did nothing ever go right for me anymore? Why were things so complicated? I pulled my jumper off to stare at my hideous body. Scars on the arms and a jagged gash across my chest. I took a bath. I know it's girly but it washed my body in a soothing way. After I was finished with my bath I changed into my flannel pyjama pants and a plain white tee-shirt. I crawled into bed and let sleep wash over me.
….
The next morning I woke to the sound of a guitar. Edwards back. I rubbed my eyes lazily before dragging my body out of bed to take a shower and change. When I finished I walked out of the bathroom to find Edward sat in the couch strumming absent minded on the guitar. "Edward, shut up" He stopped strumming and looked at me. "God, Jasper what's gotten your knickers in a twist?" I looked at him; he dropped his head and stared at his hands. "Nothing, just got a headache, How was your date with Bells?" I sat down on the couch next to him. He flicked his amber hair out of his eyes before answering "It was wonderful, we kissed and then" I cut in "Ermm Ed, I don't want to know" he smiled "Oh right, sorry, how are you doing Jasper?" His eyes quizzically shot across my face before settling on my hands. "Okay I suppose" I was doing shit, I was lying to my sister about everything, how I felt, how I still do everything I shouldn't. I sighed. "What are we doing today Edward?" he turned and placed his guitar on the floor. "Were going to see Rose and the others, if that's ok, with you?" "Of course. I really want to see Rose." Edward pulled his jacket on before handing me mine, "Come on man" He opened the door waiting for me to follow. I ran my hand over my face before following him out the door
….
Alice's Point of View:
I woke up sore. Very sore in fact. I walked into the bathroom and took in my appearance. My eyes were dark and a purple blotch was appearing around my left one. My lip looked badly cut and stung like hell .My ribs were red and two more blotches were appearing. My finger was just slightly red. I sighed. FUCK! Why did this happen to me? I got dressed in my black jeans, a white cami and one of Edwards's oversized hoodies. I pulled my make up out of my draw and began to hide the blotches and bruises. When I was finished I had outlined my eyes in thick black eyeliner to hide any darkness, Concealer and foundation were both used heavily in my operation and a dark plum lipstick to hide the cut. I slowly walked out into the main room. Bella was lying on the couch flicking through the channels and Rosalie was in the kitchenette mooching in the fridge. I gently sat down on the arm of the couch. "Morning, Alice" I smiled politely at Bella's over enthusiasm. "You went to bed early." Rose said critically Walking and sitting on the green armchair. "Well, I was, err, tired." Rose's eyes glanced across my face taking in my heavily lined eyes and dark lips. "Alice, what's with the heavy make-up?" I swallowed; a lump forming in my throat. "Well, I, I, I wanted to try something different" I looked at my hands not wanting to meet her concerned eye. "Alice, im not stupid, something bad's going on and I can tell, tell us?" I felt the lump becoming even harder to swallow. "I fell in the shower and im sore, that's it okay?" I hear her snort. Luckily im saved by a sharp rapping at the door. Rosalie gives me the "I don't believe you, we'll talk later" look. Bella opened the door followed by a load of squealing. Edward appeared, gently pressing a kiss to Bella's forehead. He turned and saw me, great my day s getting better and better! I gently got up and walked slowly over to him. He pulled me into a hug. "You okay ?" I nodded; I didn't trust my fragile voice. Edward opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a high pitched squeal. I turned to see Bella jumping up and down. She launched herself into the arms of a very tall guy. She pulled back and started having a full blown out conversation. I didn't hear what she was saying I was too focused on the beautiful stranger standing in the door way. His curly, honey blonde hair led down to a perfectly straight nose and full lips. He was beautiful. His eyes were amazing. Beautiful blue like the ocean. He was a god. And I felt like I shouldn't be in his presence. I turned on my heel and walked onto the balcony at the back of the dorm. I stared out into the open air. Breathing deeply I heard the glass door behind me click open. "Rose I already told you" "Im not Rose." A deep sexy voice said. I turned as fast a lightning to see the guy Bella was hugging. I turned again so my back was facing him. "Sorry" I whispered. "It's alright ma'am" I couldn't help but notice he had a southern end drawl to his voice. He stood next to me before pulling a cigarette out from behind his ear. "Oh where are my manner's, Im Jasper by the way" He turned and looked at me; a crooked smile on his lips. "Alice" I breathed out. "That's a pretty name." He said this whilst smiling; I could hear it in his voice. I turned and faced him "Thank you" I shuffled my feet and sat down on the patio chair. Why was everything so fucked up? Before I knew what was going on I found myself crying. "Oh god, don't cry" He crouched down and placed his finger under my chin. "Alice, Look at me" I didn't respond. He pulled my face up. "Alice, look at me" I looked up to find myself staring into his beautiful blue eyes. "What's wrong darlin?" I sighed. "Everything." My voice trembled. He wiped my tears away. He smiled at me. The first genuine person I had met in months. "Do you wanna talk bout it?" I shook my head, I didn't know this guy, but I already sorta knew his story. I pulled up the sleeves of Edwards's hoodie revealing my massacred arms. I saw him out the corner of my eye looking at my arms. Prepare yourself Alice, for one huge lecture is coming your way. I waited but no outburst or lecture. I heard him sigh softly. He gently ran a finger over them. I flinched slightly at his touch. He looked me in the eyes. "Alice , you don't need to do this, you know?" I shrugged. "It makes me feel normal." He sighed again. "Alice, whatever your problems, it's not your bodies fault." I was fuming. How dare he, he doesn't even know me and he's already judging me. I pushed him away and walked to wear I was stood before. "Don't give me that bullshit. You don't fucking know me. How dare you? You don't know what the fuck I go through, you've got no fucking idea what it's like." I was just about to turn back inside when he said "I do Alice, I know exactly what you're going through. " I turned to question him when he pulled up the sleeves of his grey sweater to reveal deep incisions in his arms.
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So guys what do you think? let me know if i should continue with this story ? 3
love Angi xoxo
