Chapter o1 : Coffee
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard.
- "Anne Spencer"
It wasn't that long ago when I was sitting outside of a coffee shop picturing what the rest of my life would be like.
Yeah, it figures things never end up the way you imagine them.
Kinda like when you go to draw a picture and you have the image in your head but when you put it on paper, you know it's not the same. You can't seem to remember what it was you were thinking in the first place.
Or like- you remember exactly how much sugar and creamer to put in your coffee but every time you make it, it doesn't taste the same.
Or maybe my coffee was just getting cold. I couldn't tell after a while.
Hell, maybe I just don't care anymore- or my taste buds are failing on me. Go figure...
But nah, it wasn't that long ago that I was sitting outside of a coffee shop, in fact- it was only a few hours ago.
Yeah.. My coffee got cold..
I was sitting there when I saw a family of three walking inside. Pretty much the normal image of a family. Father, mother, a little girl, not older than five I would guess. That perfect picture family you see on those sappy tv shows or something.
I wouldn't be too far from the truth by saying that the idea of a family made me sick. Yeah I admit it. I, Axel, don't like the whole family picture.
Never really had one. The whole, mother was long gone, father was never around and just little lone me growing up in whatever friend's house I could be in and running around like a wild child. I don't know- happy little sweet looking families make me jealous.
I'd never want one. Nah. It would just be too fake to me. Everyone smiling at each other and the warm air would just heh..- choke me or something.
Kinda like the way coffee makes you gag when it's too strong... Maybe I didn't put enough creamer in it like I thought I did- hmm...
But hey, don't get me wrong. Just cause I don't like the whole family scene doesn't mean I wouldn't like a relationship. That's a completely different ballgame.
Which reminds me. That's kinda why I was sitting outside of a coffee shop. Wanna know the reason why I'm picturing what the rest of my life would be like?
Well- y'know when you met someone and you're with them for a while you kinda get this idea in your head of what the future will more or less likely be? Yeah- I use to have that idea in my head.
Notice the phrase "use to". Yeah.. I use to. Use to have that idea just a few hours ago... But then I went to that damn coffee shop..
Okay- okay, okay. I'll go ahead and spit it out, sheesh.. Yes. I just got dumped- by my girlfriend of a few years.
Why did this happen? Well according to her, she just..- didn't need me anymore. I'm not surprised. For the last half a year we grew apart..- but.. When I really think about it..- I realize that she was just one of those girlfriends that's just a girlfriend.
What? Don't look at me like that. Did that not make sense?
For those of the weak minded I shall explain. When I say that, I mean- we started dating without really knowing much about each other and once we were together we learned things about each other. So we pretty much only stayed together cause it was familiar.
Thus breaking up isn't really a big deal. Nothing gain and nothing lost. Just another step in life.
Right now? Right now I'm trying to figure out what's next- or well, no not really. Right now now I'm standing across the street from the coffee shop, trying to hide behind a postbox.
I never was good when police where around. They just make me nervous like I'm the criminal who stole that candy bar and I just can't speak around them.
Sorry for the change of tone. I bet you're all confused right now.
Like I said, things never turn out the way you imagine them. I'm pretty sure the family of three thought the same thing.
I'm pretty sure they never pictured their little girl to run out into the street. Pretty sure they didn't think the street light would just happen to go out. Sure they didn't see that car coming.
I know I didn't.
It's been a day since I was at that shop.. Getting dump of course.
A day ago when I was just sitting there.
Just a day ago.. When I decided to leave.
Just one day ago.. I saw a little girl being rushed to the hospital.
That day I ran as far away as I could before.. Heh.. lost all my coffe plus whatever else was in my stomach onto the side of the street.
Y'know.. Most people go into shock when they see that kinda thing. Sorry to say I didn't though.
Hey now, don't think I'm some kind of heartless person, it's just that..- well that's just a part of this town. People die all the time and I've seen more than my share of dead bodies.
Never did tell you guys what an old dump of a town this is huh? Well yeah. Gangs and thugs, drive by shootings, car wrecks. Buildings falling on people and hell..- even people falling off buildings.
It's always something.
An old ruin town. Buildings are shatter everywhere and the streets look like someone dropped on a bomb on them. Most of uptown's been reconstructed though with the factory towers hanging high up in the air. This evil smoke brewing out of them. Sky's always grey and smokey from the ash. Trust me..- it might look like it's snowing but heh..- only wish it was.
Another day has past and I just got home. Made the choice to take a shower to calm my nerves down and take a chance to figure things out. I mean hey..- after seeing the picture perfect family rush into an ambulance... I felt empty.
That poor little girl's smiling face.. Just there. Stuck in my head.
I took the time to draw future plans on a piece of paper in my mind... but it doesn't matter does it? Cause once I got it down I couldn't remember what I really wanted in the first place.
My piece of paper was blank...
My apartment felt cold...
And my cup was empty...
Name's Axel. I'm only 20 years old. Living alone once again in a two bedroom apartment.
I'm stuck in a town where the sun never shines and my coffee always seem to freeze up too quickly.
All of it so true- or it was for now. I posted an ad in the paper after getting home after the incident. Things moved quickly.
Tomorrow, things are going to change...
That cold apartment's going to meet a new person...
My piece of paper's going to be scribbled on...
And hopefully the coffee tomorrow won't be so bad.
