The blonde lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking, trying to make sense of what he had seen. He knew he shouldn't have been snooping but he could not help himself, in the back of his mind he knew he was missing something, something was not being said, it was a lie, a secret and it seemed like a never ending cycle with the lies, the forgiveness, the small amount of happiness and then the blonde was left to feel betrayed and depressed. He knew for a long time what his boyfriend was into but as ever optimistic as he was he believed that the bastard had loved him, that he would change for the sake of their relationship. It was always the same though, how many chances had he given him now, six, maybe even ten or more. He lost count, he just never found the courage to leave the arrogant prick for good.
The last time he had left him, it had taken in three days to go running back to him, arms open and a heart full of forgiveness. He had left because the other had refused to quit, the drugs was sucking all the life out of him, the happiness out of their relationship. The blonde sighed as he begun to replay the last few times he had had the courage to pack up and leave. He knew he couldn't keep living like this. He knew his relationship wasn't as bad as it could be but what was the point of being with someone when they were barely even there, well physically he was there but his mind seemed to always be else where or clouded with the drugs. Naruto knew he cherished those moments between the drugs and the drinking when the other was sober, he was kind and attentive but those moments continued to be further and further apart. The blonde started to grow angry, the anger continued to build, making his hands shake and clench, his teeth ground together he could here the front door opening with people laughing, he knew in that moment that his boyfriend had brought home his stoner buddies again.
'Every fucking night they are here, every fucking night' The blonde knew he was about to snap, he couldn't take much more of this, he hated his boyfriends friends, they were useless. They never held down a job preferring to live the life of unemployment while being high day in and day out. It surprised Naruto how the hell they managed to pay for their drugs all the time. He shook his head, he knew that the others drug dependency was expensive, even if he mostly smoked pot, his habit left them with just enough money to cover rent and most weeks they didn't have enough finances to afford a decent grocery shop. The blonde stood up quickly hearing the grating laughs, it caused him to snap, he couldn't stand those fucking laughs while he was pissed off and trying to create a future, a live, his boyfriend couldn't give a shit as long as he got what he wanted when he wanted. God forbid Naruto say anything about the fact that the bills were always overdue, he was sick of eating packet foods, sick of being cooped up in a house that always smelt disgusting. He was just sick and tired of this life.
The blonde quickly made his way to the door, twisting the door handle he slammed the door open not even caring he was going to make a scene in front of everyone. His temper was uncontrollable, his eyes began to blacken around the edges, his eyesight only did that when he was beyond furious. He heavy footsteps coming down the stairs, as he made his way down the last few steps, he heard the friends making jokes about him, saying he was so uptight and he needed a joint to fucking relax. That did it. 'Fuck them, Fuck him and fuck everything'. Naruto stalked over to the kitchen and pushed the door with such violence, it may have cracked under the force. His raging cobalt eyes scanned the room, landing on his source of anger, his eyebrow ticked and his hands clenched seeing the bloodshot and half lidded eyes of his boyfriend. The stance he wore was very laid back, lazy, his teeth ground painfully, making his jaw start to throb but he paid no mind he was livid, how dare this fucking asshole come into their home and have an appearance like this, it made him sick.
"You fucking asshole!" Naruto barely was able to speak without yelling. He noticed then that the friends were lounging around the kitchen going through the cupboards and fridge, making a fucking huge mess that no doubt Naruto would have to clean after they all passed out or left.
"What is up your ass?" The other just looked at him with an eyebrow raised, he looked towards Naruto for a few seconds and burst out laughing. Naruto was shocked he was being laughed at when he was angry, he didn't care if he was high, sober or drunk and high this bastard was getting on his last nerves. He really did not want to get into another domestic fight, that had happened twice already and the cops became involved, was not a pretty sight for anyone. He had thought that his boyfriend narrowly avoiding charges and having broken his arm might have snapped him out of his immaturity but no.
"What's up my ass, WHAT'S UP MY FUCKING ASS" Naruto could not speak all he could do was yell, his chest was burning with the anger rising and becoming more aggressive.
"No need to yell, fuck, calm down, where's all the food?" Naruto just blinked, his face twisted into a feral sneer, he knew this was not going to end without them physically hurting each other but he couldn't just walk away, he knew it was smarter just to walk away, pack a bag and never look back. He couldn't though his anger was to raw, his pain he could not contain any more, he wanted the man in front of him to hurt like he was to be torn in to because he loved him but the other hurt him so deeply, the betrayal left an ugly taste in his mouth and the remorseless radiating off the other, no he couldn't walk away not his time.
"DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN, YOU ARROGANT GOOD FOR NOTHING DRUG ADDICT. YOU ARE A DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING AND I HONESTLY FUCKING HATE YOU!" The words were harsh but nearly skimming the surface of the blondes anger and betrayal. The other shot him a look of rage. So the fighting commenced.
"YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT, I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ME LIKE THAT, YOU ARE A GOOD FOR NOTHING SLUT" Naruto hated that word with a passion, he has told the other his deepest darkest secrets and what that word does to him. The last time someone had called him that he had ended up in hospital, the only way he was not breaking down was the anger and the shock that the other had called him that. The shock soon wore off as the anger took over once again, urging to keep fighting, to stand his ground and to become reckless.
"HOW DARE YOU FUCKING CALL ME A SLUT, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A USELESS, SELFISH ASSHOLE, THAT DESERVES NOTHING FROM ANYONE, I AM NOT TAKING YOUR SHIT ANYMORE, I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT, I AM SICK OF YOU ALWAYS BEING HIGH OR DRUNK, YOU'RE NEVER SOBER ANYMORE, IT'S SICKENING LOOKING AT YOU NOW" The blonde heaved after his outburst, he knew he would keep going, he couldn't stand the man in front of him any more, his boyfriend was now a strange to him. The blonde saw the other coming, he fast considering he was high, the stench was so strong when he came closer towards him, Naruto almost gagged at the fowl smell. The fist was directed towards his face, Naruto was by no means a fighter but being in a few fights he had gained a few reflexes, he moved out of the way and brought his own fist towards the other, his punch was not as powerful as he would have liked but he heard the grunt come from the other and felt satisfied that it had done some damage.
He tackled the other and pinned him beneath his body he began to to punch him, he held back, his punches only half the strength of what they could have been. It made him angry that even all the shit this man had put him through he still couldn't hurt him as much as he would have liked. The man underneath him took his half strength to his advantage and pushed Naruto heavily backward, the smack clearly could be heard through out the kitchen as the blondes head collided painfully with the tiled floor. He made a groaning noise as he head started to pulse and throb. The pain moved from the point of impact to surges through out his head. A hand came up to grip his head to stop the painful surges erupting on his skull. His wrist was harshly grabbed and another hand gripped his hair painfully as it lifted his throbbing head and smacked it brutally on the floor. The noise Naruto made was much higher and louder, almost a scream in agony.
His eyes became unfocused and he couldn't see the punch raining down on him, it hit his eye socket , his head bouncing from the floor of the connection.
"You little bitch, you think you can fucking come in here and make a fucking scene" Another punched landed painfully on his face, he could feel the fire radiating from his face, his eyes began to tear up just as another punch landed painfully on his nose, he was unsure if he heard a crack or not because his head was still throbbing to the point he could barely hear anything.
"I'll fucking teach you some respect" Another punch, Naruto faintly felt the pressure leave his body, he left out a small breath before he felt a heavy kick from a booted foot in the side, his body instantly turned in on itself, a defence mechanism. He waited for another kick but it never came, he uncurled his body and made a shaky stand, he gripped the counter to keep his balance, his head felt heavy but light at the same time, his vision kept shaking and unfocusing, his eyes captured the man in front of him, he had walked a few steps over to a bong and was now in the process of lighting it. He could barely hear the bong bubble and saw the clouding begin, his stomach churned whether from the sight of that disgusting bong or the pain in his head.
This was it, he has seen this side of him and was now ready to pick up and leave, he knew it was a stupid idea to confront him, he looked around slowly and suddenly realised that the other people occupying their house had either relocated or left. He made his way to the stairs, his mission was to make it to the bedroom, pack as much as he could and get the fuck out of here, before the had a chance to calm down and try to apologise and stop him from leaving. He couldn't stay he knew he had to leave, for his sanity, for his happiness.
Naruto had many dark secrets, he truly believe he was worth nothing for the longest time, he didn't know what had suddenly changed to make him confront the other and to scream and demand things of him. He finally had some self worth but that could be easily shattered in an instant. Once he had calmed down he knew any self worth and happiness would shattered, he would become depressed and upset. The other man had been in his life for a long time, he was familiar, he was what he called home, considering he didn't have a home to go to any longer.
The stairs were painful but he made it to the top eventually, turning left he slowly walked to the bedroom and closed the door behind him, he locked it quickly behind himself. He grabbed his bags he used for overnight stays and shoved as much clothing in as possible. He load himself off with grabbing his keys, wallet and phone and as quick as he could made it to the front door, he sighed in relieve as the other didn't come up to him but he spoke to soon.
"Naruto, baby wait, I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen, why do you have bags?"
"Oh fuck off and go smoke another bong"
"Come on baby, don't be like that, you know I can quit any time, I just do it for fun" Naruto rolled his eyes he had the same speech so many times, over and over again he believed it, he believed the other man and tried to make it work so many times but it always ended up the same. Naruto turned and the other man flinched at the sight of him, Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, he must have looked worse for wear. His face was numb and he gently skimmed his face and could feel the lumps and bumps and also the steady stream of blood coming from his nose and eyebrow, he didn't even notice before now.
"Baby, I didn't mean it, I love you so much, I need you, I need you so badly in my life, you keep me sane, you make me so happy, please don't leave me, I swear I can change just give me a chance, baby?" The blonde knew he could feel himself start to waver on his conviction, he shook his head and raced to his car, his vision was bleary not from his head but from the tears welling up. He tried to shove the keys in the door lock as quick but they kept slipping, growing frustrated the tears spilled over and cascaded down his tanned face.
"Baby?" The voice sounded so much closer than before, he turned his head and the man was standing right behind him, his muscles tensed and his heart beat quickened. He couldn't, no he wouldn't go back to that life once again, he knew this time was the last time. The keys finally unlocked the car and he threw his packed bags in the back seat of his little orange lancer. He slammed the door shut and made a move to the drivers door, he felt the other follow him, Naruto tried to sit in the car but his upper arm was gripped almost painfully, his head snapped towards the other and he just barked out
"Let me go NOW! I am leaving and there is nothing you can do about it, I don't want to be here, I can't do this with you any more, I can't even remember the last time you were sober." He heard a growl and the other's fingernails dug in enough to draw blood. He wretched his arm away and pushed the other back and slammed the door, clicking the locks down and keeping the window up. He plugged his iphone into the stereo, started the car and took off to where he didn't know but anywhere was better than this place.
As he left the house the only thing the other heard was the blondes favourite band playing...
"Tell me where our time went,
and if it was time well spent,
don't let me fall asleep,
feeling emptying again"
