What I Did For Love
Bella wasn't really sure why she and Emily had continued to see each other once Edward came back. It wasn't as if Bella was hanging out with anyone else in the pack, not even Jacob (especially not Jacob). If she was being honest, it was because Emily had insisted, and she was a hard woman to deny. The first time she had asked, Bella had opened her mouth to say "No, thank you" but "Yes, of course" had come out instead.
Walking into the coffee shop now (neutral territory had been a must for these meetings to take place), Emily smiled at her warmly, and it took everything in Bella's power not to stare at the scars. She was still getting used to the whole idea, even after having known for so long. Emily got her coffee quickly and sat down across from Bella, and the whole time, Bella very carefully did not look at the scars.
"How did you do it - after?"
Bella felt like someone should slap whoever had asked that insensitive question, except that she and Emily were the only ones there, and Emily sure as hell hadn't said it. Blood rushed to Bella's cheeks (because, apparently, she blushed like a sixteen year-old girl in a bad anime), and she immediately opened her mouth to apologize profusely and possibly throw herself at Emily's feet and beg for mercy, but she just locked eyes with Bella, gaze intent, and all Bella's words dried up on her tongue.
"It wasn't easy." A sad smile played on her lips. "It almost ruined us."
Bella nodded. "But you loved him so much it didn't matter."
A harsh laugh burst from Emily's lips, and Bella actually flinched at the sound. "I'm sorry," Emily said, mouth settling back into the gentle smile. It fit her much better. "No. I mean, yes, I love him very much. Of course I do. It be a mute point if I didn't, but love is the excuse every woman in an abusive relationship has ever used, and I wasn't about to be one of those girls."
Bella didn't understand.
It looked like Emily knew that. "Have you and Edward-" Bella realized suddenly that she and Emily had never discussed her relationship with Edward "-ever talked about it? And I don't just mean some half-formed argument of 'This is too dangerous' and 'I don't care, I love you anyway'. Have you and Edward ever sat down to have a real, serious discussion about your relationship?"
Bella didn't answer, but Emily took that as answer enough.
"Sam and I did. It took this-" she gestured to her face and Bella winced, belatedly realizing that she'd been staring "-but we did it. We sat down and talked about where our relationship stood. We discussed boundaries, what would be too much."
"But you love each other," Bella found herself saying, "what could be too much for that?"
Emily leveled a grave stare at her. "Accidentally mauling me was pushing it a little close. And killing. Say someone got caught in the crossfire. Is it okay if it's an accident? Is it okay if it's on purpose? What if a vampire came after me to get to him? What if one came after my family? What if one day we had kids, and they got hurt because of all this? You have to talk about these things, Bella. You can't just brush them off."
Bella wanted to bring up the "love" argument again, but she was pretty sure Emily had already denied it two or three times. She did it anyway. "I love Edward, and he loves me. Nothing is too much for us."
Emily was still smiling, but her eyes narrowed. "And what if he, say, leaves you with little to no explanation and certainly no forwarding address? Did you even talk about that?"
Bella felt her defenses rising. "He thought he was doing it for my own good."
"And doesn't it bother you that your boyfriend made that decision without consulting you? Don't you have any say in what's good for you?"
"It's not like that!"
"Then what is it like?"
Their voices had been gradually rising, and Bella was pretty sure the entire coffee shop was watching them now. It wasn't exactly a conversation for outside ears. It wasn't exactly a conversation Bella wanted to be having at all.
She stood up from the table, coffee gone cold in her hand. "I don't have to justify myself to you."
Emily didn't rise, and this felt like the end of their little coffee dates. "No, you don't, but eventually you'll have to justify this to yourself."
Bella walked out of the shop. She walked out of the shop and to her truck, and then she drove home. Once she was home, she did her laundry and specifically did not think about what Emily had said because Emily was wrong. She didn't know anything about Bella and Edward's relationship. She couldn't understand.
This was love.
