Copyright (c) 2016 by Aviator39 under the Copyright Act of 1978 which states that works written under a pseudonym are protected for 95 years after publication or 120 years from creation, whichever is shorter. Stealing and/or plagiarize any aspect of this story is grounds to sue you! You have been warned. You will be reported if you violate this Copyright.
Joie De Vivre
(noun) a delight in being alive; keen, carefree enjoyment of living
A sinking feeling settled in his stomach as soon as the plate slipped out of his hand, knowing full well that Adam would hear the shatter of the porcelain from the living room. He stared at the shattered pieces of plate that lay on the slate tiled floor of their shared apartment and waited, fear making his chest tight.
Soon, Adam's shadow appeared in the entrance to the kitchen, his glass of scotch still in hand. "You stupid fuck!" Adam hissed, setting his drink down before pacing over to Barba. A violent slap caught the ADA across the face, but Rafael remained emotionless despite the tears forming in his eyes. He prayed that God was on his side, that his boyfriend's anger would simmer out and the attack would end – everything would go back to normal.
Rafael was all too familiar with the predictable pattern that had clung to him since childhood, and he knew how to handle this situation. Don't cry. Don't beg and don't apologize – at least until later. The only thing he didn't know, was how not to enrage the people in his life; be it Adam or his father in the past. The only person who never seemed to get mad at him was Carina.
Although his father had been locked up for years, he and Adam had much in common – probably too much in common. Rafael was a constant source of anger and frustration to Adam, just he had been for his father. And just like his father, Adam was obsessed with every move Rafael and his daughter made. And it was that obsession that finally tipped Adam's temper over the edge – broken plate be damned. A series of hang-ups and calls from blocked numbers – no doubt having to do with Rafael still receiving death threats – but it had been enough to convince Adam that the man who had flirted with Rafael at lunch earlier that day was the one calling.
"You gave him your number, didn't you?" Adam accused lowly as he grabbed Rafael by the collar of his Armani shirt and yanked him closer. "You gave it to that cop I saw you having lunch with, didn't you?"
Rafael shook his head, opting to remain mute.
Another slap, this time followed by a backhand that had Adam's college ring leaving a shallow cut in Barba's right cheek. "Then who's calling with a blocked number?" Adam questioned, shaking Rafael slightly. "And don't give any of that pathetic crap about you receiving death threats."
"I don't know." Rafael answered softly. "I don't know who it is."
Adam shook his, the action being east as he had a good five inches on Rafael. "Why are you lying to me?" He shouted, slamming Rafael back against the counter before crowding him. "Does he know what a fucking pathetic loser you are? Hell, I don't even know why I put up with you."
Rafael closed his eyes, readying himself for the next slap…only it never came.
His eyes snapped open, chest heaving with every breath as he turned his head to focus on the tear-blurred figure standing in the doorway of his bedroom. "Did I wake you?" Rafael asked, leaning up on one elbow while he used the other hand to scrub the tears from his eyes as he finally managed to take in his daughter standing there.
"No." Carina's smile was gentle if a bit broken. "Your alarm went off if you're wondering what woke you." She murmured before padding over to the side of the bed and resetting the alarm clock.
Carina perched on the edge of the mattress, brushing sweat-damp hair off her father's forehead. "Nightmare?" The word was both a statement and question all at once, and Rafael nodded. "But not as bad as it could've been." She added with a soft smile.
"When did you learn to read minds?" Rafael asked tiredly and sighed before pushing himself to his feet, dislodging Carina in the process. "Is there coffee?"
Carina shook her head as she ran a hand through her thick, espresso colored hair. "Yes, there's coffee. It should be done by the time you finish showering." She paused as she paced over to his walk-in closet and began flicking through his suits. "As for the mind reading…it's a gift." A playful smile on her features as she laid a dark navy blue , three-piece suit, pale pink tie, navy suspenders and a white dress shirt on the bed. "It's your first day back – wear this."
"Yes, ma'am." Rafael teased. "I'm guessing you want me to make a good impression on my first day back?" He questioned, giving his daughter a meaningful look.
"The only impression you need to make is that you're a badass – which everyone already knows." She replied firmly and placed her hands on his shoulder, tilting her chin up slightly to compensate for the slight height difference. "You are ADA Rafael Barba who graduated Cum Laude from Harvard Law, who isn't afraid of taking the police to trial and survived a trial against an abusive boyfriend that would've broken a lesser man."
Rafael swallowed, mind flashing back to two weeks ago when the jury had finally come back with the verdict – guilty. He didn't think he had ever felt so relieved in his entire life – not because his life was out of danger, but because it meant Adam would never lay a hand on his daughter like he'd threatened to.
"You make me sound a lot tougher than I am." He muttered, finally noticing the worried look Carina was giving him. "I wouldn't have survived that trial without you…and the squad."
Carina shrugged noncommittally and wrapped him in a tight hug, mindful of his still healing bruises. "I just provided moral support. You did the heavy lifting." She murmured and pulled away, walking towards the bedroom door. "Breakfast'll be ready when you're done."
"Rafael, bring your daughter to work day?" DA Laura Ackerly asked as she passed the pair in the hallway of the courthouse, smiling warmly at Carina who smiled back.
Rafael chuckled lightly as he adjusted the grip on his briefcase. "Something like that." He answered politely as he turned to unlock his office. "I figured I'd need some help sorting through everything."
Laura nodded, shifting the files in her arms. "It's good to have you back." She said, giving Rafael's assistant Carmen a small smile as they passed her. "This courthouse has been too quiet without your snark."
"I'm sure it has been." Carina laughed warmly, hazel eyes shining as she shrugged off her coat and hung it on the coat rack before pulling open the shutters to let the December sunlight filter in, before glancing at the stacks of folders covering her father's desk and clicked her tongue. "Looks like we have a lot of work to do."
"I'll let you get to it then." Laura hummed and exited the office, heels clicking down the hallway.
Carina puffed out her cheeks as she tossed her caramel colored curls over one shoulder. "Well, I already know we're going to have to order in for lunch." She quipped as she thumbed through one stack of files. "Most of these just need your signature before they get filed away." She flicked her fingers along the many 'sign here' post-its sticking out of the folders.
"Oh, joy." Rafael deadpanned, ignoring the snicker from Carmen and instead rolled his eyes as he pulled out the Mont Blanc pen from his jacket. "Give me the first one."
They worked until lunch in silence, Rafael finally caving when his hand began to cramp from signing so many papers. "That's it – I surrender. The paper wins!" He conceded, earning a warm chuckle from his daughter.
"Rafael Barba conquered by the pen." Carina laughed, unlocking her phone as it beeped with a message alert.
Shall we play a game? You don't know who I am, but I know who you are. And I know what you'd do to keep Daddy safe. Better be careful out there. –A
"Carina?" Rafael asked, brow creasing in concern as he watched his daughter's face pale rapidly before she sunk down onto the couch. "Carina, what does that text say?"
She shook her head, swallowing around the lump in her throat and doing her best to ignore the dread that had settled in her stomach like a lead weight. "It's another death threat…I think." Carina managed after a few moments. "It's signed 'A'."
Barba blanched, his stomach rolling and threatening to bring up his breakfast. "'A' as in Adam?" He questioned, lowering his voice – mindful of Carmen's sharp ears.
"I don't know!" Carina hissed, standing and shoving her hands through her hair before flinging her phone against the couch. "If it's not the same people that've been threatening you, then someone else has joined in on their sick game." She pinched the bridge of her nose before inhaling deeply. "We need to tell Liv."
Her phone beeped again and Carina unlocked it with a slightly shaky hand.
I know all your secrets. Are you sure you want to go to SVU? -A
Rafael took one look at the phone before grabbing both their coats. "We're going to SVU." He stated as he tossed Carina her coat. "Now!"
"Well look what the cat dragged in." Carisi joked as Rafael and Carina entered the squad room. "It's good to have you back Counsellor." He grinned, motioning for Liv to come out of her office.
Rafael gave Liv a half-hearted and tight smile. "As glad as I am to be back, this isn't a social call." He muttered as he glanced at Carina, concern etched into his features.
"What happened?" Amanda asked, her lingering Southern accent slipping through as she got up from her desk to join the growing huddle around the Barba's. "Has Adam tried to contact you from Green Haven? You know he's not allowed to do that."
Carina licked her lips and smiled wanly. "The death threats have started again." She said plainly. "I mean, my dad's still getting them. But, they've started up again for me."
She jumped as her phone went off, hesitating slightly before taking it out of her coat pocket and unlocking it.
Really, Carina? Running to the cops – what makes you think I'm not one of them. You'll know who I am soon enough. Watch your back. BANG! –A
Carina covered her mouth with her free hand before handing the phone to Liv, who took one look at the message before her expression darkened. "The signature's obviously meant to make you think it's Adam." She stated lowly, mindful of the other officers around them – she was sure they were all good people, but Carina was a celebrity, and people always wanted dirt on celebrities. "Let's go to my office."
The others nodded, Rafael keeping one arm wrapped around his daughter's waist as they followed the squad into Liv's office. "It's bad enough that they threaten me and Carina lives with me." Barba hissed once the door shut behind them. "It's another thing entirely when they single out my daughter."
"I'm standing right here, Papí." Carina mumbled as she leaned back against the edge of Liv's desk. "Let's not talk like I'm not in the room." She paused and tapped one booted foot against the desk. "Besides it's not the first time I've had a stalker."
Amaro turned to look at her. "You didn't tell us that." He stated, coming off more accusatory than he meant to.
Carina leveled him with an even stare. "It wasn't any of your business – it wasn't anyone's business." She answered lowly. "It was handled and the person responsible was dealt with."
"Okay, but this sicko clearly has it out for you." Fin muttered. "My advice would be to keep the phone here and see if TARU can get a trace on the texts."
Carina groaned, ignoring the disapproving look from her father. "I cannot go around without a phone." She insisted and crossed her arms over her chest. "It's like going around without a brain."
"She's got a point. Lieu." Nick interjected. "Not about the whole 'brain' thing, but about keeping her phone." He waved a hand nonchalantly and licked his lips. "We can have TARU tap her phone, that way we can see any texts that come in and listen to any relevant phone calls."
Rafael shook his head, resting his chin on the back of one hand. "We already have a police detail following us around, stationed outside our apartment, you've bugged our home just in case something happens." He stated harshly. "How many more violations of privacy are we going to have to put up with?"
"I know it's a lot to deal with, Barba." Liv placated, glancing around at the others. "We all know that you and Carina are private people by nature and we're doing our best to protect that privacy, especially given how much of Carina's life is already public knowledge." She paused and ran a hand through her hair. "But there's only so much we can do as long as both of your lives are being threatened."
Rafael opened his mouth to object but was cut off by Carina. "It's fine, Papi." She insisted, giving him an encouraging smile as she spun her phone around in one hand. "Get TARU up here and they can tap my phone. It's not like you guys haven't heard everything anyway." Her tone was resigned and she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest while giving the others an expectant look.
"'Aight then," Fin muttered and pulled out his phone. "I'll go make the call." He finished before stepping out of Liv's office, phone pressed to his ear.
Carina pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to stave off an impending headache. "Has Heredio told you anything yet?" She questioned tiredly.
"Nope, piece of crap is keeping his mouth shut." Dodds grumbled, clearly still bitter over nearly dying not three months ago. "He thinks his bosses will protect him – seems to have convinced himself that he's valuable."
"Oh joy, he's developed an ego." Rafael deadpanned and sighed. "Keep trying, because as much as I enjoy their company, I'd like to see the tail lights of the detail sooner rather than later."
Fin poked his head back in the office. "TARU's here."
Carisi raised an eyebrow. "That was fast." He commented.
"Guess he was already in the building." Fin shrugged noncommittally. "That and he said something about his daughter being a fan and wanting an autograph. Sorry, C."
Carina laughed lightly, a small smile gracing her features. "It's fine, Fin. I'm always happy to give my fans what I can."
The group laughed good-heartedly before filing back out into the squad room where the TARU tech was waiting. "What did you want me to sign?" Carina asked, a practiced smile on her lips as she handed her Blackberry Priv to the tech.
The tech grinned before pulling out a rolled up poster from inside his jacket. "My daughter asked me to pick this up during my lunch break," He paused and unrolled the poster - it was one of Carina's latest headshots for Seventeen. "She says you're her idol – wants to grow up to be just like you. Her name's Meghan."
Carina nodded, signing the poster with a well-practiced flourish of her hand as the TARU tech popped the back of her phone open and inserted the bug and text reader.
"This'll keep track of every incoming and outgoing call and text that this phone gets." He explained as he rolled up the signed poster and stuffed it back in his jacket. "Congratulations, you now have complete access to the private life of America's sweetheart."
Liv gave the tech an appreciative if exasperated look as he exited the squad room before looking over at Carina whose expression was a mix of annoyance and resignation. "I know you're not thrilled about this Carina, but it's the best chance we have at catching whoever's doing this." She explained, glancing at Barba who wore a similar expression to his daughter – they were both at their wit's end and she couldn't blame them. A little over a year of death threats and stalking would do that to a person.
"You get that we're doing this to help you, right?" Nick asked, a concerned look taking over his features as he looked around at the others. Rollins and Fin were their usual shade of neutral, but Carisi looked like he wanted to wrap the Barba's in a hug and never let them go, while Mike had something between a scowl and a worried frown on his face.
Carina shrugged before slipping her phone back into her coat pocket and brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever – I just want it to be over. Sooner rather than later." She snipped, lips twisting in an uncharacteristic sneer as she looked down at the ground. "I just – it's almost Christmas, and I had hoped all this would be over by now."
She paused and gave the others a meaningful look. "I mean I know the police detail is there to protect my dad and I, but how do we know they aren't part of the group that's been threatening us?" Shaking her head, she sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. "Neither of us are exactly popular with the NYPD at the moment."
"We're gonna get whoever is behind this." Amanda answered firmly, determination etched in her every feature. "Even if it means going after the brass – we'll end it soon."
The others voiced their agreements, causing Barba to let a small, genuine smile slip. "And please, no one get shot." He gave Mike a meaningful look. "Do your jobs, but for God's sake we don't need anyone dying for us."
"We'll be careful Counsellor, don't you worry." Sonny replied, giving the ADA an encouraging smile.
Carina tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, scuffing her feet against the linoleum floor. "Now if there's anything else you guys need we'll be in my dad's office working our way through the stacks of folders on his desk." She smirked and cocked one hip. "He's already been conquered by the pen once today, so we'll see how he holds out."
A wave of light laughter filtered through the group much to Barba's chagrin. "You know where to find us." Barba commented as he guided Carina towards the squad room exit.
Carina looked down when her phone beeped as they exited the precinct. "Oh, please not again." She breathed and unlocked the device.
You think you're safe on the inside, but guess where I am? You'll be seeing me soon, bitch. – A
"Another threat?" Rafael asked, moving closer to get a look at the phone. "They're gutsy, I'll give them that."
"I can handle the death threats. I can handle whoever this 'A' is." Carina remarked and sighed through her nose. "But I just can't have anything else go wrong. At least not until after Christmas. I refuse to have Christmas ruined."
Rafael chuckled as he unlocked the matte black Audi r8 and sliding into the driver's seat. "I'll second that." He paused and revved the engine before pulling away from the curb and into the flow traffic. "I was thinking that we should stay home this Christmas. I don't think I'm in the best shape for the slopes in Gstaad."
"Sounds like a plan." Carina agreed, smiling widely as the city zipped by them – the mysterious 'A' forgotten for now.
Thank you for reading! I
