DIVORCE

CHAPTER ONE

"NOOOO!!!!! DO NOT CALL ME EDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cry sliced through the air like a knife.

"OMG ED! YOU ARE SO UPTIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bella shrieked.

"ED?! ED?!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO EXSASPERATING!!!!!!" Edward responded.

"I want a divorce!" Bella informed Edward.

"FINE!"

"FINE!!"

"FINE!!!!"

"FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You 2 are in luck! Emmett and I have returned from Harvard Law. We are now both divorce attorneys," A perky high pitched voice squealed. Edward and Bella turned to see Alice and Emmett standing in the doorway holding big, brown, briefcases. They wore matching pinstriped suits (Alice's was a skirt) with purple ties (Emmett's was polka dotted, Alice's was stripes.) There was an awkward silence as Bella and Edward comprehended what was going on.

"I call Alice!" Bella said, breaking the silence.

"No! I wanted Alice!" Edward whined.

"What's wrong with me?" Emmett moaned.

"Shut up, Kabob! You're an idiot," Edward muttered.

"Uh… Kabob?" Emmett asked.

"Shush Kabob," Edward scolded. Alice and Bella laughed at this despite the heavy atmosphere. They just couldn't help it.

"Bella you can't leave me. You're immortal. You're immortal because of me," Edward said.

"Wow Edward. I'm still getting a divorce," Bella said tossing her hair.

"Bella… You j-just can't l-l-leave m-m-m-m-me!!!!!!!!" Edward cried.

"Deal… Ed," Bella said as she left the room, being as hot as possible (just to taunt Edward.) Edward groaned as he watched Bella (slow and sexy) and Alice (prim and businesslike) leave the room.

Author's note: Please give a review!!!!!! That would be awesome!!!!!!!!! I hope you liked it!!!!!!!! – Em.